Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart...
Please don't take this as "reply with lots of nice things about me!" That's not what I'm looking for. Seriously, I just feel this is the easiest way to say what i'm thinking without crying.
And I apparently can't sleep tonight. WTF.
Grad school has started. So far so good. there's not nearly as much pressure, and i'm almost lost with a whole lot of nothing to do. Of course I have class and homework and two tons of choir, but my entire day isn't packed with not enough hours in the day and too much work to do it all in. I almost don't know what to do with myself.
I've also been letting myself feel very lonely and sad. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm convinced that the rest of my life is going to be like my very sad and lonely summer. I keep feeling forgotten and unwanted, even though i know i have a ton of friends who at least on the surface like me. I don't know where my trust went, but I feel like everyone is out to get me or is going to let me down, so why bother.
I seriously think I have mental issues sometimes.
I know I take things to personally and that's more than likely what's happening right now. But i can't seem to shake this feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness. It doesn't help that I feel as if I'm a fraud by having my music degree, that I should have picked something else to major in.
I guess choir is what's been saving me all this time, because I love singing in an ensemble. Choir is a godsend this year, all five days a week of it.
Hopefully I figure out what's wrong with me and fix it. i hate feeling like that person no one wants to talk to because they're so negative all the time... but I can't seem to get my mind on any other topic other than how lousy I feel about myself.
And I apparently can't sleep tonight. WTF.
Grad school has started. So far so good. there's not nearly as much pressure, and i'm almost lost with a whole lot of nothing to do. Of course I have class and homework and two tons of choir, but my entire day isn't packed with not enough hours in the day and too much work to do it all in. I almost don't know what to do with myself.
I've also been letting myself feel very lonely and sad. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm convinced that the rest of my life is going to be like my very sad and lonely summer. I keep feeling forgotten and unwanted, even though i know i have a ton of friends who at least on the surface like me. I don't know where my trust went, but I feel like everyone is out to get me or is going to let me down, so why bother.
I seriously think I have mental issues sometimes.
I know I take things to personally and that's more than likely what's happening right now. But i can't seem to shake this feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness. It doesn't help that I feel as if I'm a fraud by having my music degree, that I should have picked something else to major in.
I guess choir is what's been saving me all this time, because I love singing in an ensemble. Choir is a godsend this year, all five days a week of it.
Hopefully I figure out what's wrong with me and fix it. i hate feeling like that person no one wants to talk to because they're so negative all the time... but I can't seem to get my mind on any other topic other than how lousy I feel about myself.