the serenity of memory loss...
so for the past couple of days i have been in a daze. i wake up every morning with a clean slate (memory wise). things have been so uneventful that i have taken it upon myself each morning to not dwell on what i have done or what i should have done...because i just simply choose to forget it. Well i like to say im choosing to do this because then it makes more sense. A 17 year old loosing her memory is, in my opinion, a really bad sign...i havnt been drinking at all lately...at least i dont think i have...most definately not.
need a job. i turned down 2 jobs.. one at strawberry's (well they turned me down..i dont have the "look"...i had to dress differently or sumtin..)and a job my friend's mom found for me to help pay my tuition at cathedral on park ave (clerical work...)for this dude. Couldnt do that because it would be too hard working from 4 t0 7, 5 days a week....wouldnt be able to keep up with school since i have 3 AP classes next year and all the shitty applications i have to fill out and scholarships shits i have to do...not good.
fuck school. i can read that shit on my fuckin own. im just kidding. i dont think i would learn anything if i wasnt pushed into it kicking and screaming .
o damnit what i would give for a decent job.
its ganna be such a hard year. starting a new school...senior year...i know im ganna just hate it. i wish i could just go away. i want to start my life over...new identity. i want a REAL clean slate.Not just some cheap trick my brain has been pulling on me lately. i want to fuckin forget...forget it all... i want be reborn. i want to live not rot.
need a job. i turned down 2 jobs.. one at strawberry's (well they turned me down..i dont have the "look"...i had to dress differently or sumtin..)and a job my friend's mom found for me to help pay my tuition at cathedral on park ave (clerical work...)for this dude. Couldnt do that because it would be too hard working from 4 t0 7, 5 days a week....wouldnt be able to keep up with school since i have 3 AP classes next year and all the shitty applications i have to fill out and scholarships shits i have to do...not good.
fuck school. i can read that shit on my fuckin own. im just kidding. i dont think i would learn anything if i wasnt pushed into it kicking and screaming .
o damnit what i would give for a decent job.
its ganna be such a hard year. starting a new school...senior year...i know im ganna just hate it. i wish i could just go away. i want to start my life over...new identity. i want a REAL clean slate.Not just some cheap trick my brain has been pulling on me lately. i want to fuckin forget...forget it all... i want be reborn. i want to live not rot.