(no subject)
The fact that I can totally find out about people I used to know through various internet sights is greatly disturbing to me. Granted, I'm sure everyone does the random check on an old boyfriend or an old friend or enemy. The fact that I have given into this makes me think that people could, in theory, do the same to me. Its kind of like when you remember someone's birthday, years after you stop speaking to them and then wonder if they remember yours. The thought of who could be checking up on me via the internet has made me want privacy, an igloo perhaps. Something insulated, something safe.
While I was looking at an old boyfriend's pictures online, I realized how much he had changed since we dated. Then I realized that I can't remember the sound of his voice or what it felt like to sit next him. I remember thinking that the world was ending when we broke up, and obviously thats not the case. It seems so strange to remember that, but not to be able to recall much else.
It also makes me wonder how much I have changed. Change is odd like that, its something you can't always see in yourself. Seeing it in someone else makes me wonder how much of it is visible to other people in me. I know that I have, but I'm hard pressed to really see the whole picture.
These past few weeks have been a little rough. My nerves are constantly on edge, catastrophe ready. Right now, I'd really like nothing more than to sleep for a few days, but Jason is away with his family and sleeping has become more of a team effort for the past month.
I just want things to go back to normal, whatever that is.
I started this entry with the original intent of letting it all out, everything that has been going on and everything that's bothering me. But for some reason, I feel the need to hold onto that for right now, at least until things settle.
While I was looking at an old boyfriend's pictures online, I realized how much he had changed since we dated. Then I realized that I can't remember the sound of his voice or what it felt like to sit next him. I remember thinking that the world was ending when we broke up, and obviously thats not the case. It seems so strange to remember that, but not to be able to recall much else.
It also makes me wonder how much I have changed. Change is odd like that, its something you can't always see in yourself. Seeing it in someone else makes me wonder how much of it is visible to other people in me. I know that I have, but I'm hard pressed to really see the whole picture.
These past few weeks have been a little rough. My nerves are constantly on edge, catastrophe ready. Right now, I'd really like nothing more than to sleep for a few days, but Jason is away with his family and sleeping has become more of a team effort for the past month.
I just want things to go back to normal, whatever that is.
I started this entry with the original intent of letting it all out, everything that has been going on and everything that's bothering me. But for some reason, I feel the need to hold onto that for right now, at least until things settle.