saying "sorry" somehow seems trite-ill probably fuck it up anyway
the first time i put myself before others was with you and i'm sorry you had to bear thr brunt of 23 years worth of self sacrifice and martyrdom in one fell swoop, i am sorry that i pushed you off that ledge, prying words from yr clenched hands like a hook out of a fish' mouth, leaving you gasping and flopping on the ground, clinging to silence for self preservation, i am sorry you don't beleive in the safety of distance, in physical space making it possible to say things that would never need to be said if only there was proximity, i am sorry i pulled secrets away from you like a blanket before you were ready to get up, but i needed the truth to fill in the cracks and gaps and i knew you were pushing it around in yr mouth, hiding it under yr tongue or maybe pressed in between yr cheek and teeth waiting for the right moment to let it slowly unfurl into the light.
i am sorry that i was like an impatient child on christmas morning-
know that yr words did not fall into an abyss, know that there are pieces that are whole because of you.
we could continue sending out messages, random and disconected like smoke signals, but then we'd never really know anything for sure would we?
you are the one lose thread i cannot cut, the one ill let dangle until the sweater has unraveled-
i am sorry that i was like an impatient child on christmas morning-
know that yr words did not fall into an abyss, know that there are pieces that are whole because of you.
we could continue sending out messages, random and disconected like smoke signals, but then we'd never really know anything for sure would we?
you are the one lose thread i cannot cut, the one ill let dangle until the sweater has unraveled-