(Untitled)

[virtual_ram]

After finishing the dishes and watching Java depart to her room, Ram decided to follow suit and go back to his room. No doubt Java would want sometime to unpack and rest. It had been quite a day for them both

Comments

[_java_]

Java felt her stomach twist slightly as Ram loomed over her, his whispered words sounding more like a warning than a request. He knew she was lying, she realized suddenly, her throat going dry, and he was not pleased... I'm sure she misses you... But Ram couldn't know the specifics of the lie, Java reassured herself, and there was no way for him to prove anything, to himself or otherwise. "I'm sorry," she murmured, actively pushing aside the painful thoughts of Siva that threatened to reemerge, and focusing instead on getting herself out of hot water. Siva was gone, Java reminded herself, and she couldn't let Ram use the loss against her. "I didn't want to wake you..."

Java looked back up to Ram, her expression carefully arranged into a vulnerable, affectionate half-smile betrayed only by the tiny glimmer of fear that tinged her eyes at the nearness of him. He could perhaps kill her, right now, she realized suddenly, looking up at the man who stood so close to her that she could smell the lingering scent of soap from his shower on his skin. Java was a better fighter, but Ram was stronger now, and she knew that she'd never be able to willingly hurt him; if he set out to kill her, that might well be the end of it. Java swallowed slightly. "You should come back to bed," she offered coyly, the smile taking on a slightly teasing tone to hide the fear. One hand trailed up the side of his leg, lingering at his hip. "You must still be tired."

[virtual_ram]

Ram gently placed his hand on top of her's. Java seemed so uncomfortable around him. It was evident in her eyes, but nowhere else. She was exceptionally good at masking her emotions, something he had never picked up because, as a leader, he didn't feel it was necessary.

Maybe she was emailing Jay. He thought. Maybe things between them have changed. Maybe that's where she was when she came up missing...
The thought made Ram sick to his stomach. Not only was Java, his Javie; his wife, lying to him and setting up a facade to trick him into playing happy families, she was seeing Jay; Jay the Merciful and virt-lover; in addition to it.

"Perhaps you're right, Javie." Ram said, still immersed in his thought. "Maybe I do need to sleep and bit more." He sat back down on his bed.

Maybe I don't deserve better than this. Maybe I'm just supposed to have people, especially the females, lie to me. Maybe I'm that bad of a person. This was the first true thought he had had about karma since the virus. He had been a terrible person during the Technos' reign, now it was time for terrible things to happen to him. Then again, bad things like this did happen to him during the Technos' reign: first Ebony and Jay, for God knows how long; then Siva and Lex; and of course Java had had her thing for Jay also, no matter how much she denied to him.

Ram laid back down, facing the wall. He couldn't bear looking his "wife" in the eye.

[_java_]

Java's smile broadened slightly as Ram sat down. He seemed more familiar and far less intimidating when he was seated, and if her husband was still willing to lie down with her, well, it had to be a good sign. There was a hint of distraction in Ram's voice, she noticed, as there always was when he seemed to catch her in a lie, but he was also only recently awakened; it was possible that the tone of voice was just a result of his exhaustion. Her smile broadening slightly, Java turned towards the man beside her, just in time to see him lie down with his back to her.

The smile faltered, frozen for a moment before being rearranged into an expression of vague concern and mild annoyance. Of all her husband's postures, this ranked among Java's least favorites; it had historically been accompanied by a dismissive wave and a muttered "Bring me Siva"-- or, more recently, "Bring me Ebony." Java's lips tightened for a moment, displeased, but were quickly softened into an appeasing, somewhat cajoling half-smile. He couldn't get rid of her so easily, she thought spitefully, regardless of what he'd caught her doing; she had a debt to repay him, after all, and Java -always- saw her obligations fulfilled. Loyalty is the only thing worth dying for.

Summoning up the old tricks that had once been so effective in managing Ram's moods, Java moved a little closer to her husband, her right hand reaching out to his shoulder. "Let me help you get back to sleep," she offered, her voice honeyed and smooth as her fingers tentatively sought permission. "You know how much better you sleep when you've had a massage..."

[virtual_ram]

He turned on his back, arms crossed across his chest, and looked up at her. She was still smiling, kind of. Was that fake, too? The pleasantness.

"I don't want a massage." Ram mumbled, looking at the shoes he had forgotten to pull off his feet before getting in bed. He didn't want to be touched, especially if she had been with Jay. Jay, in his mind, was still dirty. He still had germs.

She owes you an explanation. She should be confronted. A voice told him. It wasn't the normal voice that he had taken on since living in the Paradise Mega had given him: Reality, it was the harsh one he often had heard during his reign. It was right, it always had been. Except he didn't want to hear an explanation. He didn't want to hear Java tell him that she had been with Jay and that she loved him.
You shouldn't let her walk all over you. You're better than that. You need to lay ground rules. The voice continued to speak verities. Ram mentally agreed. Only, he wished to handle this a more quiet way, not the way the voice would have which would have involved shouting and possible deletion. He still cared about Java, afterall, even if she was infested with Jay's germs.

Ram looked up at Java once more, stroking her hand. "Javie, do me a favor and don't lie to me. I am your husband afterall." He tried to keep a sweet tone to his voice, which he found increasingly hard to do. It would have been so much easier to scream at her, then confine her to her quarters for two weeks.

[_java_]

Java's hand twitched, very slightly, beneath Ram's. "I would never lie to you, my love," she purred, though her voice felt choked. Her control over the situation was slipping away as her emotions threatened to resurface, Java realized; she wanted to tell him the truth, and he deserved to hear it... There was just something about the look on Ram's face that insisted on honesty, and she hated to see him drawing away from her-- not that the truth would help with that. Why was she having so much trouble lying to him now, she wondered, now when it was so incredibly vital that she do so? Java had lied to her husband a thousand times in the past, about things both important and otherwise, but it had been so easy to lie to a man who seemed to hate her... Perhaps Line had done more to her mind than she realized, but the truth was that the Ram that Java had seen since her return seemed a very different man than the one who had thrown her out of his apartment a week ago. This was a man that she could have had a real future with, and it was getting harder and harder to bring herself to lie to him.

"You know I'm loyal to you," she murmured, her voice sounding fragile and raw in her ears. There was more honesty in those words than Ram would, God willing, ever know, but she knew it wouldn't be enough to persuade him to take her at her word. People don't change, Java reminded herself, by way of justifying the situation; Ram might seem sweeter than she remembered, but he hadn't changed, really, and nothing had changed between them. The current situation was proof enough, wasn't it? And if he still hated her, then it was all right to lie to him, wasn't it? Especially if it was for his own good? She looked down at her husband, stretched out on his back, and couldn't help but search his eyes for some sign that the affection he'd shown her this morning was still there, that there was still a chance that things could really be as good as they had seemed. There was only distrust in Ram's gaze now, though, tinged with anger and something akin to disgust, and the sickly sweet coating on his angry words was turning her stomach. No, Java admitted, perhaps he hadn't changed after all. It's because he knows you're worthless, Line's voice reminded her. He still hasn't forgiven you for what you've done-- and nor should he.

Her gaze fell to the blanket again, seeking solace in the folds of the unassuming fabric, then returned, hesitantly, to Ram's face. But I still love you. "Do you want me to leave?"

[virtual_ram]

Ram sighed. Going about it in a general matter was getting him nowhere, as usual. If she wanted to continue to pretend, then fine. He was through with it. Ram could pretend just as well as she could and he had the advantage: he already knew how to push her buttons, as where she had a whole new person to figure out.
"Of course you wouldn't, Javie. You're not like your sisters, especially Ebony, are you?" He ended with faux-thoughtfulness and assurance while he patted her hand. The mention of her younger sister was sure to peeve her.

Ram sat up and pulled off his clean black and white shoes. He tied the laces and set them neatly on the floor, almost under his bed.

"You're welcome to stay and use the laptop if want to, my sweet Javie." He still remained sitting up. He didn't really feel like sleeping anymore. Instead, he grabbed a book from the book shelf beside his desk, Metamorphoses by Kafka, and began leafing through it until he had found a page he wasn't familiar with.

[_java_]

[OOC: Continued here.]