(no subject)
Title: Regeneration
Rating: PG
Characters: Kratos and Yuan
Summary: After Origin's Seal, Kratos can't seem to work out why he still doesn't feel like his old self. Yuan decides to help.
Notes: Not totally happy with this one, but I can't figure out how to fix it, so up it goes.
After that battle was over with, Lloyd claimed that now, he'd defeated Kratos, the angel who betrayed them, and forgiven Kratos, the hero who helped them. ...I can't help but think that it just isn't that simple, and from that thought comes this ficlet.
“I don't understand,” Kratos sighed, causing Yuan to look over to where his old friend was resting.
“You should be trying to sleep,” Yuan told him reproachfully. “You should be able to for once, with that much energy loss, so take advantage of it.”
“I thought...I would be back to myself,” Kratos murmured, ignoring Yuan's words to stare at his hands in confusion. “That I would...wake up.”
Yuan sighed. “If I hadn't just about killed myself keeping you alive earlier, I'd hit you,” he said conversationally. “You thought what, that if you passed the torch, you could go back to who you used to be? That you'd feel like a knight again, and not one of the Seraphim?”
“More or less,” Kratos admitted.
“And that's why you're an idiot.” Yuan rose, and moved over to sit on the edge of Kratos' bed, frowning at him grouchily. “Even after everything we've done, you're still trying to go back. You never learn!”
“...What?” The other angel was mystified by Yuan's words.
Yuan made a frustrated sound. “It's the same thing I've been telling you, all this time. You can't fix the past. You can't make it right. There is no way that what we did in that time will ever be right, and there's no way that we'll ever again be the people who hadn't done those things yet. You see? You can't go back.” Maybe this time, it would finally sink in.
“Then what do I do?” Kratos' voice was low with guilt and despair. “If I couldn't cut away the person I became...”
“...Idiot.” Yuan's tone was softer this time, though. “...You can't go back, but you can go forward. You're not the same person who did those things, either. You didn't cut away the person you are, but you might have cut the ties to the past that you've kept on dragging with you. ...That'll have to be enough, for both of us.”
No longer the hero he had been...but also no longer the unfeeling, traitorous Seraph. ...Kratos could live with that. He sat in silence, mulling it over, eyes hidden behind the fringe of his bangs as he sought to understand what was left to him at last.
Yuan smiled faintly, fondly, and got up. “Now stop thinking and sleep. You're not going to get a chance again for a long time, if I have anything to say about it.”
Kratos caught his wrist before he could get too far away, and they remained paused like that for a long moment, waiting for something neither could define. At last, Kratos relented. “Thank you,” he murmured.
Yuan drew his hand through Kratos' loosening grip, squeezing his fingers once. “Always,” he replied quietly. And then, even softer: “...Noble idiot.”
Kratos just smiled, as he finally nestled into the blankets to try sleeping, for a few short hours until he'd recovered enough energy that he no longer could.
Rating: PG
Characters: Kratos and Yuan
Summary: After Origin's Seal, Kratos can't seem to work out why he still doesn't feel like his old self. Yuan decides to help.
Notes: Not totally happy with this one, but I can't figure out how to fix it, so up it goes.
After that battle was over with, Lloyd claimed that now, he'd defeated Kratos, the angel who betrayed them, and forgiven Kratos, the hero who helped them. ...I can't help but think that it just isn't that simple, and from that thought comes this ficlet.
“I don't understand,” Kratos sighed, causing Yuan to look over to where his old friend was resting.
“You should be trying to sleep,” Yuan told him reproachfully. “You should be able to for once, with that much energy loss, so take advantage of it.”
“I thought...I would be back to myself,” Kratos murmured, ignoring Yuan's words to stare at his hands in confusion. “That I would...wake up.”
Yuan sighed. “If I hadn't just about killed myself keeping you alive earlier, I'd hit you,” he said conversationally. “You thought what, that if you passed the torch, you could go back to who you used to be? That you'd feel like a knight again, and not one of the Seraphim?”
“More or less,” Kratos admitted.
“And that's why you're an idiot.” Yuan rose, and moved over to sit on the edge of Kratos' bed, frowning at him grouchily. “Even after everything we've done, you're still trying to go back. You never learn!”
“...What?” The other angel was mystified by Yuan's words.
Yuan made a frustrated sound. “It's the same thing I've been telling you, all this time. You can't fix the past. You can't make it right. There is no way that what we did in that time will ever be right, and there's no way that we'll ever again be the people who hadn't done those things yet. You see? You can't go back.” Maybe this time, it would finally sink in.
“Then what do I do?” Kratos' voice was low with guilt and despair. “If I couldn't cut away the person I became...”
“...Idiot.” Yuan's tone was softer this time, though. “...You can't go back, but you can go forward. You're not the same person who did those things, either. You didn't cut away the person you are, but you might have cut the ties to the past that you've kept on dragging with you. ...That'll have to be enough, for both of us.”
No longer the hero he had been...but also no longer the unfeeling, traitorous Seraph. ...Kratos could live with that. He sat in silence, mulling it over, eyes hidden behind the fringe of his bangs as he sought to understand what was left to him at last.
Yuan smiled faintly, fondly, and got up. “Now stop thinking and sleep. You're not going to get a chance again for a long time, if I have anything to say about it.”
Kratos caught his wrist before he could get too far away, and they remained paused like that for a long moment, waiting for something neither could define. At last, Kratos relented. “Thank you,” he murmured.
Yuan drew his hand through Kratos' loosening grip, squeezing his fingers once. “Always,” he replied quietly. And then, even softer: “...Noble idiot.”
Kratos just smiled, as he finally nestled into the blankets to try sleeping, for a few short hours until he'd recovered enough energy that he no longer could.