Umpteenth Job Post
I had a really lousy day at work. B laid into me for an hour and a half.
About how I have to stop devoting hours to one absolutely necessary project to instead spend one hour a day on at least 10 different projects. About how I have no ambition. About how I am too narrowly focused when I need to actually keep an eye on projects that have been set aside for months. About how they thought they could mold me into a replacement for R but I've been disappointing them.
About how I'm just not getting it. About how I should tell her when I'm overwhelmed, but how I'm a wimp for feeling overwhelmed. About how I should ask questions if I don't know things... but how I'm stupid if I don't already know all the answers.
An hour and a half!
My strength as an editor is my focus, and she's making it sound like my liability. She brought my personal life into it too.
I need to be more independent and aggressive. Yet every time I stick my neck out at all, I get my head bitten off. Who would blame me for staying quiet? Aside from them. I should make R help me and keep me informed even though she doesn't want to, and who can blame her when it's obvious that the boss wants to groom me so I can push her out?
Do they even listen to their own words?
B also pretty much said that I'll be fired if I tell them I don't want R's job. And I don't. You think they'll make a 30-year-old, the youngest person in the office, editor-in-chief? Like hell. I'd get all the work and responsibility, a little more pay, and the boss breathing harder down my neck. We're such a small office that B and perhaps the boss think that the assistant must rise to take R's job. R's elderly and slowing down, and they want to push her out. (Which may be why she's not actually training me, because she has to be aware.)
I don't want to write children's books and come up with concepts. I don't want to deal with invoices. I don't want to be second-guessed by the boss every day.
I was so tempted to tell B that I don't want to do R's job. I don't want to be here with my job.
I'd quit, but I need my insurance stuff to continue uninterrupted. I can get Cobra for more money, but.... I need the money badly.
I have no self-confidence left anymore. B and the boss have ripped it out of me. I need to get away from here, but I don't have the strength to look for a job. I have no strength from my health problems and recovery from the surgery, and then I have no mental strength from this.
About how I have to stop devoting hours to one absolutely necessary project to instead spend one hour a day on at least 10 different projects. About how I have no ambition. About how I am too narrowly focused when I need to actually keep an eye on projects that have been set aside for months. About how they thought they could mold me into a replacement for R but I've been disappointing them.
About how I'm just not getting it. About how I should tell her when I'm overwhelmed, but how I'm a wimp for feeling overwhelmed. About how I should ask questions if I don't know things... but how I'm stupid if I don't already know all the answers.
An hour and a half!
My strength as an editor is my focus, and she's making it sound like my liability. She brought my personal life into it too.
I need to be more independent and aggressive. Yet every time I stick my neck out at all, I get my head bitten off. Who would blame me for staying quiet? Aside from them. I should make R help me and keep me informed even though she doesn't want to, and who can blame her when it's obvious that the boss wants to groom me so I can push her out?
Do they even listen to their own words?
B also pretty much said that I'll be fired if I tell them I don't want R's job. And I don't. You think they'll make a 30-year-old, the youngest person in the office, editor-in-chief? Like hell. I'd get all the work and responsibility, a little more pay, and the boss breathing harder down my neck. We're such a small office that B and perhaps the boss think that the assistant must rise to take R's job. R's elderly and slowing down, and they want to push her out. (Which may be why she's not actually training me, because she has to be aware.)
I don't want to write children's books and come up with concepts. I don't want to deal with invoices. I don't want to be second-guessed by the boss every day.
I was so tempted to tell B that I don't want to do R's job. I don't want to be here with my job.
I'd quit, but I need my insurance stuff to continue uninterrupted. I can get Cobra for more money, but.... I need the money badly.
I have no self-confidence left anymore. B and the boss have ripped it out of me. I need to get away from here, but I don't have the strength to look for a job. I have no strength from my health problems and recovery from the surgery, and then I have no mental strength from this.