Perpetual Disappointment
I actually got someone on the phone Friday for Food Stamps. And she didn't know if I've been relisted as disabled or if a rebudgeting had taken place, so she wasn't helpful. Still haven't received anything in the mail a month after I submitted the corrections in person either. The guy at the senator's office hadn't called Friday, and Monday is a government holiday, so Tuesday I'm going to call the senator's office, see if he got anything done, tell him what I have, and probably go back to the SNAP office in person to try to get information and correct things again and hope that this time the right thing happens.
The stress of the situation and the feeling of powerlessness accompanying it have been making my mental and physical health decline somewhat.
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Now here's something else that's bothering me but is far less important than that, though bothering me so much that this isn't as tightly written as my usual stuff because I had moments of rage-blast and couldn't always decide where in the text each thing should go:
My Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu (Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru, Oregairu for short) anime recently aired its third, final season. I'd been looking forward to it for five years, especially since season two ended on a cliffhanger. Just from the spoilers I saw almost as soon as the third season started airing from the light novel fans who'd already finished the light novel series and knew which girl Hachiman would end up with, I knew I wouldn't be happy with the ending.
I didn't realize how repellent I'd find the season though.
A bit of history. I really enjoyed season one, which was somewhat subversive and meta as it addressed "youth" and rom-coms in anime. There was a certain glee in seeing how Hachiman--a smart, shunned, cynical loner who comes off as creepy to many people--might be extreme in his views on people and society but is not entirely wrong, and the often underhanded plans he comes up with to solve problems brought to his high school's service club that he was forced to join work.
At least until second season says that none of them actually worked out long-term. Not that the other two members, Yukino and Yui, have a better track record or even suggest many solutions themselves.
Third season has people talking constantly while not really saying anything. I'm not the only person in comment sections mentioning this; there are a few of us. It's been suggested that I'd understand this more if I were Japanese, but the last two seasons weren't like this. Also, my family was fluent in Passive-Aggressive, so I'm pretty good at deciphering subtext.
Was this season pitched toward people who already read the light novel series so the anime creators didn't think they'd need to show anything because the viewers already read it?
In seasons one and two, we were constantly aware of what Hachiman's thinking and what his conflicts are. For long stretches of season three, I have no idea.
Even though season three starts off seconds after the end of season two, in season three Hachiman is much, much smiley-ier than he was in season two and has a bit of a personality transplant. I know the anime has compressed and cut out a lot of stuff from the light novel series, but this is ridiculous.
We barely even see chosen "best girl" Yukino for much of the season because she's locked Yui and especially Hachiman out of her life. Yes, truly she's the best choice for Hachiman, the girl who's consistently stopped him from getting close to her through three seasons. The one he just about has to begs to be with him.
Prior to this, the show often had the trappings of a harem story, leading to fans speculating on who was "best girl" out of the many female characters who'd shown interest in him. Also, Totsuka, a kind, upbeat, feminine boy, who I felt was actually the best choice for Hachiman, especially since he and Hachiman have a crush on each other that you can see from space. (Btw, Hachiman has no problems with having soft, squishy feelings for this boy, another thing I liked from season one.)
Third season yanks the Totsuka option away by having him working on tennis every moment he isn't in class. We find this out after Hachiman does the rare, amazing thing (for him) of asking Totsuka if maybe they could hang out after school since, due to Yukino pushing him and Yui away, service club is canceled.
The show spends two seasons setting up its cast of characters and we get a bit of them in the early part of the season (and in the finale) but soon everyone else is peeled away and I could feel the plot railroading Hachiman to its intended terminus. The harem thing it flirted with is gone. In many ways, Hachiman is pushed toward Yukino by Yui and Hiratsuka-sensei instead of making the decision himself, to the point where I'm not sure if he would've confessed to her without their prodding. The character who once came off as very intelligent needs a lot of things explained to him these days, sometimes several times on one point.
(Yukino does nothing on her side to make things work with him. Nothing.)
The series finale feels more like a real episode of SNAFU, partly because the rest of the cast returns in it, but it feels like crumbs, a little bit of final fanservice, too little and too late.
Near the end of season two, the show worked to set up some conflict between Hachiman and Hayama. In season three that leads to absolutely nothing.
Season three never got me to care about either prom, and especially not the second one. They feel too random to me.
Once upon a time, Hachiman might have said to himself that it's great that these two girls who (vaguely and roundabout-ly) express interest in him are each trying to give him away to the other. But he's not too bright this season.
Hiratsuka-sensei is the only one to say unprompted that she loves him. She really supports him too. Maybe he should've gone for her.
The only reason any of this works out so nicely for Hachiman and Yukino is that Yui aggressively throws herself under the bus for their sake. She steps aside so Hachiman can pursue Yukino, and when that becomes super awkward for their friendship and the club, she's the one who puts herself out to rejoin them and smooth things over. There's a point where Yukino said she'd try to make amends with Yui but then... she doesn't really, just invites her to a meeting, hopes she shows up, and then waits for Yui to make nice. Geez, give the poor girl some time and space away to mourn her lost shot with Hachiman.
All of Hachiman's worries over what would happen to the club and his friendships with Yui and Yukino get completely fixed by Yui's self-sacrifices. She's doing something akin to what she and Yukino chided him for. Nobody comments on this because let's pretend everything's just fine and don't rock the boat, I guess? Oh right, this is something Hachiman once sneered at people for.
The end seems to suggest that the only reason friendless people have no friends is that they didn't open themselves up or try to engage people, thus it's all their own fault. Why, even the popular kids can come to like you! One, no. Two, this ignores that Hachiman had canonically been trying all his life to make friends and engage with people and often got brutally shut down for it. He was trying up through the first few weeks at his high school time and got nothing from it, which is when he became more extreme and cynical and decided to stop trying.
I can't help feeling that many of his current friendships are somewhat transactional, because he has put himself out doing things for all of them through the series. He's become enmeshed with the student government and been a major part in planning and running several important school events. You can't ignore him anymore. He's a useful tool. Getting together with Yukino seems to mean that he is now her henchman and does everything she asks.
If this thing with Yukino is long-term, I do not envy him the in-laws he's getting. Her mother and sister? You couldn't pay me enough to make me deal with those two. Both of them are constantly interfering in Yukino's life.
So, a series I enjoyed for its light subversiveness and meta ends in a very typical rom-com and youth series way, with our protagonist paired up with the tsundere and having a great appreciation for the friends he made along the way. (He's now embarrassed by all of his original philosophies, even though he wasn't entirely wrong on everything.) At the end, he's even seated in the stereotypical anime protagonist's window seat in class. The clichés have been firmly embraced. Dreams can come true, it can happen to youuuuu.... Gag.
I don't even want to write in this fandom after this season. It's poisoned for me. I hope that fades with some time, so I can go back to writing my slash.
+++
One last thing, I posted four more Saks Christmas 2019 window displays to my Flicker. You can comment here or at the Dreamwidth crosspost.
comments at Dreamwidth.
The stress of the situation and the feeling of powerlessness accompanying it have been making my mental and physical health decline somewhat.
+++
Now here's something else that's bothering me but is far less important than that, though bothering me so much that this isn't as tightly written as my usual stuff because I had moments of rage-blast and couldn't always decide where in the text each thing should go:
My Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu (Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru, Oregairu for short) anime recently aired its third, final season. I'd been looking forward to it for five years, especially since season two ended on a cliffhanger. Just from the spoilers I saw almost as soon as the third season started airing from the light novel fans who'd already finished the light novel series and knew which girl Hachiman would end up with, I knew I wouldn't be happy with the ending.
I didn't realize how repellent I'd find the season though.
A bit of history. I really enjoyed season one, which was somewhat subversive and meta as it addressed "youth" and rom-coms in anime. There was a certain glee in seeing how Hachiman--a smart, shunned, cynical loner who comes off as creepy to many people--might be extreme in his views on people and society but is not entirely wrong, and the often underhanded plans he comes up with to solve problems brought to his high school's service club that he was forced to join work.
At least until second season says that none of them actually worked out long-term. Not that the other two members, Yukino and Yui, have a better track record or even suggest many solutions themselves.
Third season has people talking constantly while not really saying anything. I'm not the only person in comment sections mentioning this; there are a few of us. It's been suggested that I'd understand this more if I were Japanese, but the last two seasons weren't like this. Also, my family was fluent in Passive-Aggressive, so I'm pretty good at deciphering subtext.
Was this season pitched toward people who already read the light novel series so the anime creators didn't think they'd need to show anything because the viewers already read it?
In seasons one and two, we were constantly aware of what Hachiman's thinking and what his conflicts are. For long stretches of season three, I have no idea.
Even though season three starts off seconds after the end of season two, in season three Hachiman is much, much smiley-ier than he was in season two and has a bit of a personality transplant. I know the anime has compressed and cut out a lot of stuff from the light novel series, but this is ridiculous.
We barely even see chosen "best girl" Yukino for much of the season because she's locked Yui and especially Hachiman out of her life. Yes, truly she's the best choice for Hachiman, the girl who's consistently stopped him from getting close to her through three seasons. The one he just about has to begs to be with him.
Prior to this, the show often had the trappings of a harem story, leading to fans speculating on who was "best girl" out of the many female characters who'd shown interest in him. Also, Totsuka, a kind, upbeat, feminine boy, who I felt was actually the best choice for Hachiman, especially since he and Hachiman have a crush on each other that you can see from space. (Btw, Hachiman has no problems with having soft, squishy feelings for this boy, another thing I liked from season one.)
Third season yanks the Totsuka option away by having him working on tennis every moment he isn't in class. We find this out after Hachiman does the rare, amazing thing (for him) of asking Totsuka if maybe they could hang out after school since, due to Yukino pushing him and Yui away, service club is canceled.
The show spends two seasons setting up its cast of characters and we get a bit of them in the early part of the season (and in the finale) but soon everyone else is peeled away and I could feel the plot railroading Hachiman to its intended terminus. The harem thing it flirted with is gone. In many ways, Hachiman is pushed toward Yukino by Yui and Hiratsuka-sensei instead of making the decision himself, to the point where I'm not sure if he would've confessed to her without their prodding. The character who once came off as very intelligent needs a lot of things explained to him these days, sometimes several times on one point.
(Yukino does nothing on her side to make things work with him. Nothing.)
The series finale feels more like a real episode of SNAFU, partly because the rest of the cast returns in it, but it feels like crumbs, a little bit of final fanservice, too little and too late.
Near the end of season two, the show worked to set up some conflict between Hachiman and Hayama. In season three that leads to absolutely nothing.
Season three never got me to care about either prom, and especially not the second one. They feel too random to me.
Once upon a time, Hachiman might have said to himself that it's great that these two girls who (vaguely and roundabout-ly) express interest in him are each trying to give him away to the other. But he's not too bright this season.
Hiratsuka-sensei is the only one to say unprompted that she loves him. She really supports him too. Maybe he should've gone for her.
The only reason any of this works out so nicely for Hachiman and Yukino is that Yui aggressively throws herself under the bus for their sake. She steps aside so Hachiman can pursue Yukino, and when that becomes super awkward for their friendship and the club, she's the one who puts herself out to rejoin them and smooth things over. There's a point where Yukino said she'd try to make amends with Yui but then... she doesn't really, just invites her to a meeting, hopes she shows up, and then waits for Yui to make nice. Geez, give the poor girl some time and space away to mourn her lost shot with Hachiman.
All of Hachiman's worries over what would happen to the club and his friendships with Yui and Yukino get completely fixed by Yui's self-sacrifices. She's doing something akin to what she and Yukino chided him for. Nobody comments on this because let's pretend everything's just fine and don't rock the boat, I guess? Oh right, this is something Hachiman once sneered at people for.
The end seems to suggest that the only reason friendless people have no friends is that they didn't open themselves up or try to engage people, thus it's all their own fault. Why, even the popular kids can come to like you! One, no. Two, this ignores that Hachiman had canonically been trying all his life to make friends and engage with people and often got brutally shut down for it. He was trying up through the first few weeks at his high school time and got nothing from it, which is when he became more extreme and cynical and decided to stop trying.
I can't help feeling that many of his current friendships are somewhat transactional, because he has put himself out doing things for all of them through the series. He's become enmeshed with the student government and been a major part in planning and running several important school events. You can't ignore him anymore. He's a useful tool. Getting together with Yukino seems to mean that he is now her henchman and does everything she asks.
If this thing with Yukino is long-term, I do not envy him the in-laws he's getting. Her mother and sister? You couldn't pay me enough to make me deal with those two. Both of them are constantly interfering in Yukino's life.
So, a series I enjoyed for its light subversiveness and meta ends in a very typical rom-com and youth series way, with our protagonist paired up with the tsundere and having a great appreciation for the friends he made along the way. (He's now embarrassed by all of his original philosophies, even though he wasn't entirely wrong on everything.) At the end, he's even seated in the stereotypical anime protagonist's window seat in class. The clichés have been firmly embraced. Dreams can come true, it can happen to youuuuu.... Gag.
I don't even want to write in this fandom after this season. It's poisoned for me. I hope that fades with some time, so I can go back to writing my slash.
+++
One last thing, I posted four more Saks Christmas 2019 window displays to my Flicker. You can comment here or at the Dreamwidth crosspost.
comments at Dreamwidth.