part 296: "Given your wickedness, he’d be better off introducing Shion to you through your chest."
Previous installments are available in my Memories here. Please make sure the Memory page is set to sort by Description to get the entries in the closest-to-correct order. Or you can read it at its other home on Archive of Our Own.
"Glass Houses" part 296/?
By Viridian5
4/2003 - present
RATING: R. If m/m interaction bothers you, pass this by. AU.
SPOILERS: Kapitel and Glühen.
SUMMARY: After Aya's sister dies, Schwarz tries to save themselves and Aya from the mistakes of the Dramatic CDs and Glühen Schwarz tries to save him from himself--for their own reasons, of course--and neither they nor Weiß are ever the same again.
ARCHIVAL/DISTRIBUTION: No, not yet. This is a trial run of a piece of an unfinished fic.
DISCLAIMERS: All things Weiß Kreuz belong to Koyasu Takehito, Project Weiß, Polygram k.k., and Animate Film. No infringement intended.
NOTES: Thanks to rosaleendhu and red_squared for audiencing, typo-watch, and encouragement. Thanks to 'nat for "puisín," which she says probably sounds like "pu-sheen." Inspirational music includes Covenant's United States of Mind, mayatawi's V Mix the Second CD (Jane Jensen, Kidneythieves, Poe's rock version of "Hello," Kristen Barry's "Ordinary Life," Lacuna Coil), Linkin Park's Meteora, A Perfect Circle's Thirteenth Step, Pigface's Easy Listening..., Shriekback's "The Bastard Sons of Enoch," Zeromancer's Eurotrash, and Neuroticfish's Les Chansons Neurotiques.
I am not responsible for any therapy bills incurred as a result of trauma from doing research on things mentioned in this story. If you look up, say, "butter dog porn" on your own, I refuse to take the blame. I've been told that it's a bad idea to eat soup or drink while reading "Glass Houses."
========================
"Glass Houses" part 296
By Viridian5
========================
“So?” Farfarello asked from the backseat after Crawford ended his call.
“Persia is pissed off,” Crawford replied with obvious amusement.
“And worried about Aya and Nagi, as he should be, the selfish little asshole,” the mindbreaker added from the driver’s seat. “He’s thinking and feeling so loudly that even his telepathic shadow can’t stop me from hearing some of his thoughts. He’s considering open war with us, and the possibility makes him somewhat happy.”
“Warring with Kritiker again would make *me* happy,” Farfarello said. He’d appreciate getting *something* positive out of this horrible day.
“I can’t foresee yet whether it would give us any benefits,” Crawford answered. “It would definitely make things harder... but it *would* be fun.”
******************************************************
“I’m sorry, Nagi, but I really need to sleep,” Aya said. “My hotel nap wasn’t long enough.”
“You’re sorry...? You don’t have to stay awake to keep me company all the time!” Nagi replied.
“That’s cute, but I don’t intend to stay awake for days. It’s just that this will be a long, boring flight and maybe you need some help getting through it.”
“I can’t get internet here, but I have some things on my computer I could do and a book in my carry-on. I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m good at being on my own.” Usually. When Aya gave him a Look, Nagi said, “Yeah, I know it’s why you’re here, but I can handle an airplane flight on my own for a few hours. You can take a break.”
“I’m trusting you on that. Thanks.” Aya put the shade down on the window, closed his eyes, and gradually went to sleep, showing a lot of trust in Nagi and Nagi’s ability to protect him.
It might give Nagi a warm feeling if sleep didn’t also make Aya so enticing and Nagi felt kind of bad about feeling that. Napping peacefully, Aya looked less pinched and prettier. Something about the way the long tendrils of red hair framing his face rested against his shoulders begged for someone to touch them. His lips were slightly parted, which was so damned unfair.... Nagi turned his eyes away to stop looking.
Having been told no or denied on things so often, Nagi felt a strong urge to really do something *really* forbidden, especially since he’d wanted it for a long time, but he *couldn’t* do anything to Aya, the person in his team who most looked after Nagi’s interests, Aya who trusted and liked him. Aya who already had a lover who treated him like a sextoy too often.
Nagi started to really realize that taking off alone with his crush object might be a real problem and terrible temptation. He should get two single rooms at the hotel for them but couldn’t resist the idea of getting one double room. There would still be two different beds! Aya would be closer, which would be nice. Nagi could control himself, really. Left completely to himself, Aya tended to become withdrawn and he had his unresolved situation with Farfarello to brood over, so Nagi should keep him close to keep him upbeat--well, “upbeat” by Aya’s standards--and interactive.
He really didn’t want Aya to screw himself up while helping *him*. That would be so unfair, and Nagi wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.
Damn, when had *that* become a thing? He was really ruining his reputation.
It might be okay if it only applied to Aya. Nagi should be allowed to indulge a pet.
That thought was awful yet hilarious. Schuldig would approve. Hell, Schuldig would probably hand him some condoms and a tube of lube--at *least*--and nudge him at Aya while saying he should make sure Farfarello isn’t around.
Schuldig would say that Nagi’s pervy thoughts about Aya couldn’t do him harm as long as Aya didn’t know about them.
Damn it, hormones made a person stupid. Nagi wanted to blame all of this on adolescence but he’d seen too many adult men get stupid the same way.
But at least thinking pervy thoughts about Aya gave Nagi a respite from thinking angry and hurt thoughts about everything else that had happened, so maybe he should keep quietly perving on. He couldn’t lose himself in work because his work involved everyone who’d angered and hurt him.
Once upon a time he’d felt hurt and angry all the time, though he hadn’t always let all of it show. Hadn’t even let himself really *feel* all the time, even though the emotions were still underneath and stuck to him like a shadow, because it would wear him down too much. Life after Eszett was supposed to be different than that, and most of the time it was, but it looked like he’d have to maintain his quality of living himself.
Currently with a little help from Aya.
The fond feeling that brought made him glance at Aya again, a mistake since the pervy feelings flared even higher from the visual reinforcement. Emotions made life so damned difficult.
******************************************************
The apartment seemed so achingly empty and hollow without his kitten in it, and his voice had echoed off the walls the one time he made the mistake of vocalizing. Getting this apartment should have been a great victory in their relationship as a couple and membership within Schwarz, yet they’d barely spent a day in it together before it all fell apart, turning to ashes. Although he dearly wished he could blame God, the mindbreaker, and Crawford for all of it, he knew a great deal of responsibility for it fell on himself.
That, and Aya’s absence, had *really* started to sink in. There would be no kitten in his bed or bath or within hands’ reach. He wouldn’t get to hear his voice or tease him. That teasing flash of red he sometimes saw at the corner of his eye was his mind playing tricks on him, not his kitten at his back.
Although he’d merrily scared Crawford with the possibility of the boy and his kitten staying away forever, Farfarello figured that Aya would surely return at some point because his katana remained in its rack. Aya might leave the guns and knives behind without worry, but he’d never abandon Shion. Although Farfarello had preferences among the weapons he owned, he never had a relationship with any of them anything like Aya’s with his katana.
With his soul associated this deeply within his body, when Farfarello picked it up he thought he could feel the impressions of the grip his kitten used most often in the braid on the sword’s handle. Although the sword was beautiful and well-cared-for, it was obviously a working weapon, not an ornamental piece, and all the better for it. The scabbard looked somewhat battered from his kitten’s charming tendency to sometimes use it as a bludgeon or a way to block enemy strikes.
Holding Shion made him feel somewhat closer to his kitten again.
It worried him that Aya had departed unarmed. The boy might be an alpha telekinetic, but Aya had the luck of a man God especially hated and drew trouble like a magnet. It made Farfarello feel slightly better knowing that Aya wouldn’t consider it beneath himself to use sharp table knives when threatened but still. Telekinesis could forcibly “heal” some injuries but not the way Farfarello’s ki use could accelerate a body’s natural healing processes; the boy could *damage* Aya while trying to help him.
The boy might love Aya, but today’s events had proven that love wasn’t always enough.
The physical and mental silence in the empty apartment weighed on Farfarello too badly and heavily. It would be hard to sleep here and intolerable to wake up alone, without the warm fullness of Aya’s body within his arms, without the feel and sound of him breathing and living close by. He lovingly returned his kitten’s sheathed katana to its holder, packed a small bag with clothing and necessities, picked up Aya’s pillow (which retained his scent) and a blanket, locked the door, went to Crawford and the mindbreaker’s apartment, and set his stuff down on their couch.
Although they seemed to want to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, the answer was so obvious that neither did so. They looked at each other, and Farfarello didn’t have to be a telepath to know that they used the mind link to discuss the pros and cons of him sleeping in their apartment before deciding it would be for the best. Maybe he could get Schuldig to give him some tips on how to use his own telepathy better so he wouldn’t have to keep shutting it down completely in his kitten’s absence, though he wouldn’t hold his breath.
“Nagi’s e-mail has arrived,” Crawford said as he sat with his laptop on the kitchen table.
“You’re aware that he’s the only one good at tracking the location they come from,” Schuldig said.
“Yes.”
“And that he’s probably fiddled with it to make sure the location doesn’t read correctly, which would make it even harder for us to tell.”
“Yes.”
“And that you won’t hire someone to do it for us because our new employee would find out some things about Schwarz and Nagi’s beef with us that you’d never want to admit or let get out. *And* that a lot of the community is so aware of you killing temporary hires after you’re done with them that almost no one wants to work with us.”
There should have been steam rising out of Crawford’s head. “*Yes*.”
The mindbreaker smiled. “Good.”
Yes, *suffer*, Crawford. Crawford’s bizarre need to safeguard the maturing boy’s nonexistent innocence had led to a lot of this.
As Crawford read the very short, terse e-mail on his laptop, the mindbreaker and Farfarello read it over his shoulders. Once done, Farfarello asked, “Can we really believe he’s telling the truth?”
“Possibly,” Crawford replied with a sigh. “I’d be happier if it told us how many days he intends to take, but it seems more truthful that he doesn’t know how many he needs.”
“Besides, Farfarello thinks Aya at least will come back, even if it’s just for his katana,” the mindbreaker said, smiling when Farfarello shot an annoyed look at him for reading his thoughts. “Did he really *name* it? Wait, of course he did. Hmph. He never formally introduced us.”
“Given your wickedness, he’d be better off introducing Shion to you through your chest,” Farfarello muttered.
“Flatterer.” Telepathically, the mindbreaker said, ~I’m not really one of the people you’re angry at. ~
~ I can be angry at anyone I please, rational or not, and don’t tell me you wouldn’t have happily fucked my kitten without me. ~
~ So I won’t tell you that, but if you’d let me handle things earlier Aya might not have balked. ~
That might even be true.
“If he’s still away at the end of three days from today and hasn’t given us an estimate of when they’ll be back, we’ll go after them,” Crawford said.
“If they’d truly run away to stay away, three days would give them a big head start on running and hiding,” Farfarello answered. Going after them by himself would probably just result in him getting his ass telekinetically kicked six ways to Sunday.
“I know you heard me earlier when I said we have to give in to Nagi on *some* things so he won’t blow up in our face, and he’d be especially pissed off at you. Also, you just said yourself that Aya will return at the very least for his katana.”
“Are you going to inform Nagi of this deadline?” the mindbreaker asked.
“On the morning of that day, if it reaches that point. Now I need some alone time to concentrate on my e-mails and voice mail, because some of the job offers have been changed or cancelled in reaction to the fallout from this morning’s job. We no doubt have some new ones showing up in reaction to it too.”
“Sure, Crawdad. Farfie, sit with me on the living room couch. I have something I need to get you up to speed on.”
That didn’t sound good. “I’m not sure I want to.”
“You have no choice in the matter, especially since you tend to react to surprises by sticking a knife in them.”
They already distrusted his sanity and self-control and wished to put him in restraints again, so he should save his obstinacy for things that really mattered to him. With that in mind, he pushed his belongings to the other end of the couch and sat next to the mindbreaker, close but not enough to touch, so Schuldig had to extend his arm a bit to put his hand on Farfarello’s knee, the gesture and pressure of this old signal of his telling Farfarello to pay attention and focus. A familiar, somewhat comforting--especially in times of uncertainty like this--but also unwanted gesture. As much as routine and ritual could soothe him, he didn’t want to return to how things used to be for him in Schwarz, didn’t want to be the uncontrollable lunatic they managed and slightly looked down upon again.
Farfarello knew he had to be careful since his behavior over the last two days had the mindbreaker and Crawford looking at him in that old way again and thinking he could explode at any time and that they’d be safer with him in restraints. In Aya’s absence, they might revert to older ways of doing things. Of all of Schwarz, Schuldig had treated him the most like a person and he’d been the closest to Schuldig, but the mindbreaker’s patience and willingness to put himself out for others were finite. Farfarello had come too far and won too much to lose it all now along with his kitten.
Aya’s presence had protected him in ways he hadn’t even realized.
“We got a call from Brad’s mom today to let us know that Wicked and Malice broke my body’s sister--Emory’s sister--and a bunch of other people out of Rosenkreuz’s Argentina branch,” the mindbreaker said. “She wants to come see me, and we said yes. We don’t have a date yet. I wanted to run this by you in advance because yesterday you were fragile about your own sister, perhaps picking up on Aya’s obsession with his.”
Farfarello really hadn’t expected this. “That’s not what’s going on.”
“You never gave your dead sister that much thought before. She was just one in the family group of victims.”
She had been an innocent among them and hadn’t deserved what happened to her at all. The last thing she saw and felt was her God-damned brother killing her.... “I don’t want to talk about it.” Didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to *think* about it. Truly. He didn’t have Aya around to lean on or talk him down here. “Isn’t this going to be weird for you?” The mindbreaker liked to talk about himself, so let him.
“Yeah, a bit. But she already knows there’s not much left of her brother’s personality in here, it’s been ages since she’s seen him anyway, and we both went through Rosenkreuz’s school of hard knocks so she *really* doesn’t expect to get the brother she knew. She looks a lot like me, so she’s pretty.... This could be interesting.”
Schuldig had to be one of the most upbeat and optimistic people Farfarello knew. His being a sadomasochist probably helped that.
“Do you want to fuck her?” Farfarello asked, because it was *Schuldig*.
“I certainly wouldn’t turn it down if she was up for it, but I’m not expecting it. I don’t even know what kind of relationship we’ll fall into when we’re actually with each other.” The mindbreaker looked at Farfarello with an interesting expression on his face.
“What?” Farfarello asked.
“It still weirds me out sometimes seeing you with your lighter, shallower scars and healthier skin tone and hair. Being this close to you makes it difficult to avoid it.”
That might work in Farfarello’s favor by reminding Schuldig and Crawford that he’d changed, but the hunger he saw in the mindbreaker’s gaze worried and tempted him. Not that Schuldig had been repulsed by him before.... “You’ve always said I was pretty.”
“It’s even more obvious now.”
“Is this idle talk or are you heading somewhere with this?”
“Yes.”
“Schuldig.”
“It depends on you.”
“Are you truly that insatiable? Wait, of course you are.” But Farfarello would’ve said yes immediately if he didn’t know that his kitten would explode on him and feel even more justified in staying away from him after finding out it happened. And he would find out, because that was how life and living with telepaths worked.
The mindbreaker shrugged. “Nobody’s forcing you to do anything. I’m curious about your upgraded body and ki use, while you need something to calm you and help you sleep.”
“The side effects would be worse than any drug could cause.”
“So Aya can cockblock me even from thousands of kilometers away? Typical.”
“You’re bold. He’s only been away for a few hours and you’re already moving in.”
“You know I’m not big on propriety. I just go for what I want, and I haven’t had you in a long time.”
Farfarello realized. “You’re trying to distract me. It won’t work.”
“It’s not like I’m offering out of altruism, and I have it on good authority that I’m very distracting.”
“Get thee--” Farfarello broke it off when he realized how Schuldig would respond to the rest of that quote.
“--behind me, Satan? I have no problem with that position.”
“You’re annoying.”
“You’re surprised?”
“No. If you’re done telling me useful things I *need* to know, get off my couch so I can sleep.”
“Fine, fine.” The mindbreaker took his hand off Farfarello’s knee and stood up. “But tell me if you change your mind. Also, don’t get naked on this couch unless I’m involved.”
“Thou hypocrite.”
“Not this time, since it’s *our* couch. You can be naked on your own couch alone or with other company any time you want.”
“Now you’re just reminding me that my kitten isn’t around to be naked *with*.”
“So fragile you are!”
“Fuck off.” He couldn’t even fault Schuldig for being his usual self. In his own way, the mindbreaker had tried to help. It’d *failed*, but an attempt had been made.
It certainly beat being tied up, strapped down, chained up, hung upside-down from the ceiling, and locked in a room. Some would say he should count his blessings, but that hadn’t been his style for many years, most of his lifetime.
******************************************************
Schuldig bid Farfarello a fond farewell in favor of sitting at the kitchen table next to Brad, more receptive company. Besides, Brad seemed to be frustrated and suffering, while Schuldig had to bask in that and spread his sunshine around.
~ So, this morning’s job appears to have resulted in quite the clusterfuck, ~ Schuldig said, telepathically so Brad would be more comfortable being honest and Farfarello would be less likely to kibitz from the couch.
~ It’s not that bad. ~
~ It’s thrown Tokyo’s underworld into chaos, got more locals hunting us, messed with our jobs, and possibly put us back at war with Kritiker. ~
~ That last one was the result of Persia messing with Nagi and Nagi leaving Japan. All of that could’ve happened without this morning’s job. ~
~ Yes, but it sure as hell didn’t *help*. ~
~ ...we may have gone too far this morning, and my foresight missed the result from it not being able to foresee the excessive stupidity and weakness of said local underworld. We won’t suffer monetarily over *that*, just what we’ll miss from not being able to take jobs requiring Nagi’s talent and skills while he’s away. ~ Brad sounded very disgruntled, but at least he’d admitted that some of it was his fault. Progress.
~ Your precognition can’t see stupidity? It’s amazing you foresee anything then. ~
~ You sound far too happy considering all the shit that happened today. ~
Schuldig couldn’t help grinning. ~ I’m still mad at you for prioritizing that call from Persia over our nookie, and not everything worked out as I wanted, but today was exciting in good ways! ~
~ Nagi and Aya leaving the country? Not getting to have sex with Balinese? Farfarello being unstable as hell? ~
~ I got a lot of nookie, I got to order you around and see you suck Sasha off-- ~
~ For your sake, I hope you enjoyed it, because it’s not happening again. ~ Aw, so grumpy about it, which made it even better!
~ --I nearly lured Aya into bed with us, I got to meet Emory’s sister by video-phone and I’ll get to see her in person in the future, and I got to kill a *lot* of people. Besides, I enjoy chaos. ~
~ Of course you do. Much more than I do. Schwarz will suffer a downgrade in pay for as long as Nagi’s away. ~
~ I know the amount of money we get is your way of feeling like you’re winning at life, but we’re rich already, and if we’re unhappy with our earnings we can always get Nagi to embezzle more from people when he gets back. And he *will* come back. ~
~ I better not find out that you helped Nagi get away. ~
~ Who, me? No way. His being away gets me stuck with more duties in the team, and you know how much I hate having to do more work. ~
Brad still looked suspicious, but as long as he didn’t *know* anything....
~ How is Farfarello doing? Do we have to worry about a homicidal rampage? Him coming into our bedroom to stab us in our bed? Though whatever you answer, I’m still locking the bedroom door for how it would slow him down and give us some warning. ~
~ I wouldn’t argue against that precaution, but so far Farfie is holding onto his self-control tightly, partly because he really doesn’t want us to restrain and lock him away again and partly because he wants to be able to give a good account of himself to Aya when he returns. We can use that. ~ Schuldig kind of missed strapping Farfarello into his straitjacket; the motions had been weirdly soothing. ~ Farf’s more depressed and scared than angry and homicidal. ~
~ “Depressed and scared” isn’t reassuring. ~
~ Can you foresee anything on that? ~
~ No, for the usual Farfarello reasons. ~
Namely, too unpredictable and unsettled, and often unknown in advance even to himself. ~ So we keep a close eye on him, which is easier to do in our apartment. ~ If Farfarello went on a murder spree in the building they lived in, the media attention would make it easier for the people who wanted to kill Schwarz to find their home base and Schwarz would have to move again.
~ So, why did you proposition him? Because he’s pretty, because you want to experience his ki use during sex, or because you thought it might actually help him? ~
~ All three, plus I miss fucking him and he’s marinating in his suffering, making him even tastier. ~
~ You’re consistent. ~
~ Farfarello is unpredictable enough that I don’t have to contribute more of it. See how good I am to you? ~
Brad looked unimpressed by Schuldig’s noble deed. Well, fuck him. No, really, fuck him. Schuldig set his hand in Brad’s lap and stroked him. ~ Take a break. You can stare annoyed holes into our current job offers tomorrow. Besides, we’re keeping Farf awake while we’re in the kitchen with the lights on, and a sleep-deprived Farf is crazier and more mulish. ~
~ I could still ponder our jobs in the bedroom. ~
~ I’d prefer it if you didn’t. ~
~ I’m not exactly in the mood for sex right now. ~
~ The way you’re getting hard right now says otherwise. ~ Schuldig knew Brad wanted it.
~ My cock responds that way to almost anyone who strokes it, and it’s not the head I think with. You’re not worried that Farfarello would see us having sex as rubbing his face in his loss? ~
~ I’m *not* staying celibate the whole time Aya is away. ~ No way in hell. Schuldig felt concerned and sorry for Farfarello, but he wouldn’t stop living his own life over it, so he shouted to the living room, “Hey, Farf, you’ll be fine with me and Brad fucking in our bedroom, right? Not that I’ll accept no for an answer.”
“Then why’re you even asking?” Farf shouted back.
“I’m being considerate!”
“Then go fuck yourselves. I’m not so fragile.”
“See, he’s fine with it,” Schuldig said as he leaned into Brad’s side and kept on petting his dick through his pants. “I’ll let you top.”
“‘Let’ me? Get in the bedroom now.” Considerate and sweet of Brad to let himself be manipulated.
“Yes, sir!”
"Glass Houses" part 296/?
By Viridian5
4/2003 - present
RATING: R. If m/m interaction bothers you, pass this by. AU.
SPOILERS: Kapitel and Glühen.
SUMMARY: After Aya's sister dies, Schwarz tries to save themselves and Aya from the mistakes of the Dramatic CDs and Glühen Schwarz tries to save him from himself--for their own reasons, of course--and neither they nor Weiß are ever the same again.
ARCHIVAL/DISTRIBUTION: No, not yet. This is a trial run of a piece of an unfinished fic.
DISCLAIMERS: All things Weiß Kreuz belong to Koyasu Takehito, Project Weiß, Polygram k.k., and Animate Film. No infringement intended.
NOTES: Thanks to rosaleendhu and red_squared for audiencing, typo-watch, and encouragement. Thanks to 'nat for "puisín," which she says probably sounds like "pu-sheen." Inspirational music includes Covenant's United States of Mind, mayatawi's V Mix the Second CD (Jane Jensen, Kidneythieves, Poe's rock version of "Hello," Kristen Barry's "Ordinary Life," Lacuna Coil), Linkin Park's Meteora, A Perfect Circle's Thirteenth Step, Pigface's Easy Listening..., Shriekback's "The Bastard Sons of Enoch," Zeromancer's Eurotrash, and Neuroticfish's Les Chansons Neurotiques.
I am not responsible for any therapy bills incurred as a result of trauma from doing research on things mentioned in this story. If you look up, say, "butter dog porn" on your own, I refuse to take the blame. I've been told that it's a bad idea to eat soup or drink while reading "Glass Houses."
========================
"Glass Houses" part 296
By Viridian5
========================
“So?” Farfarello asked from the backseat after Crawford ended his call.
“Persia is pissed off,” Crawford replied with obvious amusement.
“And worried about Aya and Nagi, as he should be, the selfish little asshole,” the mindbreaker added from the driver’s seat. “He’s thinking and feeling so loudly that even his telepathic shadow can’t stop me from hearing some of his thoughts. He’s considering open war with us, and the possibility makes him somewhat happy.”
“Warring with Kritiker again would make *me* happy,” Farfarello said. He’d appreciate getting *something* positive out of this horrible day.
“I can’t foresee yet whether it would give us any benefits,” Crawford answered. “It would definitely make things harder... but it *would* be fun.”
******************************************************
“I’m sorry, Nagi, but I really need to sleep,” Aya said. “My hotel nap wasn’t long enough.”
“You’re sorry...? You don’t have to stay awake to keep me company all the time!” Nagi replied.
“That’s cute, but I don’t intend to stay awake for days. It’s just that this will be a long, boring flight and maybe you need some help getting through it.”
“I can’t get internet here, but I have some things on my computer I could do and a book in my carry-on. I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m good at being on my own.” Usually. When Aya gave him a Look, Nagi said, “Yeah, I know it’s why you’re here, but I can handle an airplane flight on my own for a few hours. You can take a break.”
“I’m trusting you on that. Thanks.” Aya put the shade down on the window, closed his eyes, and gradually went to sleep, showing a lot of trust in Nagi and Nagi’s ability to protect him.
It might give Nagi a warm feeling if sleep didn’t also make Aya so enticing and Nagi felt kind of bad about feeling that. Napping peacefully, Aya looked less pinched and prettier. Something about the way the long tendrils of red hair framing his face rested against his shoulders begged for someone to touch them. His lips were slightly parted, which was so damned unfair.... Nagi turned his eyes away to stop looking.
Having been told no or denied on things so often, Nagi felt a strong urge to really do something *really* forbidden, especially since he’d wanted it for a long time, but he *couldn’t* do anything to Aya, the person in his team who most looked after Nagi’s interests, Aya who trusted and liked him. Aya who already had a lover who treated him like a sextoy too often.
Nagi started to really realize that taking off alone with his crush object might be a real problem and terrible temptation. He should get two single rooms at the hotel for them but couldn’t resist the idea of getting one double room. There would still be two different beds! Aya would be closer, which would be nice. Nagi could control himself, really. Left completely to himself, Aya tended to become withdrawn and he had his unresolved situation with Farfarello to brood over, so Nagi should keep him close to keep him upbeat--well, “upbeat” by Aya’s standards--and interactive.
He really didn’t want Aya to screw himself up while helping *him*. That would be so unfair, and Nagi wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.
Damn, when had *that* become a thing? He was really ruining his reputation.
It might be okay if it only applied to Aya. Nagi should be allowed to indulge a pet.
That thought was awful yet hilarious. Schuldig would approve. Hell, Schuldig would probably hand him some condoms and a tube of lube--at *least*--and nudge him at Aya while saying he should make sure Farfarello isn’t around.
Schuldig would say that Nagi’s pervy thoughts about Aya couldn’t do him harm as long as Aya didn’t know about them.
Damn it, hormones made a person stupid. Nagi wanted to blame all of this on adolescence but he’d seen too many adult men get stupid the same way.
But at least thinking pervy thoughts about Aya gave Nagi a respite from thinking angry and hurt thoughts about everything else that had happened, so maybe he should keep quietly perving on. He couldn’t lose himself in work because his work involved everyone who’d angered and hurt him.
Once upon a time he’d felt hurt and angry all the time, though he hadn’t always let all of it show. Hadn’t even let himself really *feel* all the time, even though the emotions were still underneath and stuck to him like a shadow, because it would wear him down too much. Life after Eszett was supposed to be different than that, and most of the time it was, but it looked like he’d have to maintain his quality of living himself.
Currently with a little help from Aya.
The fond feeling that brought made him glance at Aya again, a mistake since the pervy feelings flared even higher from the visual reinforcement. Emotions made life so damned difficult.
******************************************************
The apartment seemed so achingly empty and hollow without his kitten in it, and his voice had echoed off the walls the one time he made the mistake of vocalizing. Getting this apartment should have been a great victory in their relationship as a couple and membership within Schwarz, yet they’d barely spent a day in it together before it all fell apart, turning to ashes. Although he dearly wished he could blame God, the mindbreaker, and Crawford for all of it, he knew a great deal of responsibility for it fell on himself.
That, and Aya’s absence, had *really* started to sink in. There would be no kitten in his bed or bath or within hands’ reach. He wouldn’t get to hear his voice or tease him. That teasing flash of red he sometimes saw at the corner of his eye was his mind playing tricks on him, not his kitten at his back.
Although he’d merrily scared Crawford with the possibility of the boy and his kitten staying away forever, Farfarello figured that Aya would surely return at some point because his katana remained in its rack. Aya might leave the guns and knives behind without worry, but he’d never abandon Shion. Although Farfarello had preferences among the weapons he owned, he never had a relationship with any of them anything like Aya’s with his katana.
With his soul associated this deeply within his body, when Farfarello picked it up he thought he could feel the impressions of the grip his kitten used most often in the braid on the sword’s handle. Although the sword was beautiful and well-cared-for, it was obviously a working weapon, not an ornamental piece, and all the better for it. The scabbard looked somewhat battered from his kitten’s charming tendency to sometimes use it as a bludgeon or a way to block enemy strikes.
Holding Shion made him feel somewhat closer to his kitten again.
It worried him that Aya had departed unarmed. The boy might be an alpha telekinetic, but Aya had the luck of a man God especially hated and drew trouble like a magnet. It made Farfarello feel slightly better knowing that Aya wouldn’t consider it beneath himself to use sharp table knives when threatened but still. Telekinesis could forcibly “heal” some injuries but not the way Farfarello’s ki use could accelerate a body’s natural healing processes; the boy could *damage* Aya while trying to help him.
The boy might love Aya, but today’s events had proven that love wasn’t always enough.
The physical and mental silence in the empty apartment weighed on Farfarello too badly and heavily. It would be hard to sleep here and intolerable to wake up alone, without the warm fullness of Aya’s body within his arms, without the feel and sound of him breathing and living close by. He lovingly returned his kitten’s sheathed katana to its holder, packed a small bag with clothing and necessities, picked up Aya’s pillow (which retained his scent) and a blanket, locked the door, went to Crawford and the mindbreaker’s apartment, and set his stuff down on their couch.
Although they seemed to want to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, the answer was so obvious that neither did so. They looked at each other, and Farfarello didn’t have to be a telepath to know that they used the mind link to discuss the pros and cons of him sleeping in their apartment before deciding it would be for the best. Maybe he could get Schuldig to give him some tips on how to use his own telepathy better so he wouldn’t have to keep shutting it down completely in his kitten’s absence, though he wouldn’t hold his breath.
“Nagi’s e-mail has arrived,” Crawford said as he sat with his laptop on the kitchen table.
“You’re aware that he’s the only one good at tracking the location they come from,” Schuldig said.
“Yes.”
“And that he’s probably fiddled with it to make sure the location doesn’t read correctly, which would make it even harder for us to tell.”
“Yes.”
“And that you won’t hire someone to do it for us because our new employee would find out some things about Schwarz and Nagi’s beef with us that you’d never want to admit or let get out. *And* that a lot of the community is so aware of you killing temporary hires after you’re done with them that almost no one wants to work with us.”
There should have been steam rising out of Crawford’s head. “*Yes*.”
The mindbreaker smiled. “Good.”
Yes, *suffer*, Crawford. Crawford’s bizarre need to safeguard the maturing boy’s nonexistent innocence had led to a lot of this.
As Crawford read the very short, terse e-mail on his laptop, the mindbreaker and Farfarello read it over his shoulders. Once done, Farfarello asked, “Can we really believe he’s telling the truth?”
“Possibly,” Crawford replied with a sigh. “I’d be happier if it told us how many days he intends to take, but it seems more truthful that he doesn’t know how many he needs.”
“Besides, Farfarello thinks Aya at least will come back, even if it’s just for his katana,” the mindbreaker said, smiling when Farfarello shot an annoyed look at him for reading his thoughts. “Did he really *name* it? Wait, of course he did. Hmph. He never formally introduced us.”
“Given your wickedness, he’d be better off introducing Shion to you through your chest,” Farfarello muttered.
“Flatterer.” Telepathically, the mindbreaker said, ~I’m not really one of the people you’re angry at. ~
~ I can be angry at anyone I please, rational or not, and don’t tell me you wouldn’t have happily fucked my kitten without me. ~
~ So I won’t tell you that, but if you’d let me handle things earlier Aya might not have balked. ~
That might even be true.
“If he’s still away at the end of three days from today and hasn’t given us an estimate of when they’ll be back, we’ll go after them,” Crawford said.
“If they’d truly run away to stay away, three days would give them a big head start on running and hiding,” Farfarello answered. Going after them by himself would probably just result in him getting his ass telekinetically kicked six ways to Sunday.
“I know you heard me earlier when I said we have to give in to Nagi on *some* things so he won’t blow up in our face, and he’d be especially pissed off at you. Also, you just said yourself that Aya will return at the very least for his katana.”
“Are you going to inform Nagi of this deadline?” the mindbreaker asked.
“On the morning of that day, if it reaches that point. Now I need some alone time to concentrate on my e-mails and voice mail, because some of the job offers have been changed or cancelled in reaction to the fallout from this morning’s job. We no doubt have some new ones showing up in reaction to it too.”
“Sure, Crawdad. Farfie, sit with me on the living room couch. I have something I need to get you up to speed on.”
That didn’t sound good. “I’m not sure I want to.”
“You have no choice in the matter, especially since you tend to react to surprises by sticking a knife in them.”
They already distrusted his sanity and self-control and wished to put him in restraints again, so he should save his obstinacy for things that really mattered to him. With that in mind, he pushed his belongings to the other end of the couch and sat next to the mindbreaker, close but not enough to touch, so Schuldig had to extend his arm a bit to put his hand on Farfarello’s knee, the gesture and pressure of this old signal of his telling Farfarello to pay attention and focus. A familiar, somewhat comforting--especially in times of uncertainty like this--but also unwanted gesture. As much as routine and ritual could soothe him, he didn’t want to return to how things used to be for him in Schwarz, didn’t want to be the uncontrollable lunatic they managed and slightly looked down upon again.
Farfarello knew he had to be careful since his behavior over the last two days had the mindbreaker and Crawford looking at him in that old way again and thinking he could explode at any time and that they’d be safer with him in restraints. In Aya’s absence, they might revert to older ways of doing things. Of all of Schwarz, Schuldig had treated him the most like a person and he’d been the closest to Schuldig, but the mindbreaker’s patience and willingness to put himself out for others were finite. Farfarello had come too far and won too much to lose it all now along with his kitten.
Aya’s presence had protected him in ways he hadn’t even realized.
“We got a call from Brad’s mom today to let us know that Wicked and Malice broke my body’s sister--Emory’s sister--and a bunch of other people out of Rosenkreuz’s Argentina branch,” the mindbreaker said. “She wants to come see me, and we said yes. We don’t have a date yet. I wanted to run this by you in advance because yesterday you were fragile about your own sister, perhaps picking up on Aya’s obsession with his.”
Farfarello really hadn’t expected this. “That’s not what’s going on.”
“You never gave your dead sister that much thought before. She was just one in the family group of victims.”
She had been an innocent among them and hadn’t deserved what happened to her at all. The last thing she saw and felt was her God-damned brother killing her.... “I don’t want to talk about it.” Didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to *think* about it. Truly. He didn’t have Aya around to lean on or talk him down here. “Isn’t this going to be weird for you?” The mindbreaker liked to talk about himself, so let him.
“Yeah, a bit. But she already knows there’s not much left of her brother’s personality in here, it’s been ages since she’s seen him anyway, and we both went through Rosenkreuz’s school of hard knocks so she *really* doesn’t expect to get the brother she knew. She looks a lot like me, so she’s pretty.... This could be interesting.”
Schuldig had to be one of the most upbeat and optimistic people Farfarello knew. His being a sadomasochist probably helped that.
“Do you want to fuck her?” Farfarello asked, because it was *Schuldig*.
“I certainly wouldn’t turn it down if she was up for it, but I’m not expecting it. I don’t even know what kind of relationship we’ll fall into when we’re actually with each other.” The mindbreaker looked at Farfarello with an interesting expression on his face.
“What?” Farfarello asked.
“It still weirds me out sometimes seeing you with your lighter, shallower scars and healthier skin tone and hair. Being this close to you makes it difficult to avoid it.”
That might work in Farfarello’s favor by reminding Schuldig and Crawford that he’d changed, but the hunger he saw in the mindbreaker’s gaze worried and tempted him. Not that Schuldig had been repulsed by him before.... “You’ve always said I was pretty.”
“It’s even more obvious now.”
“Is this idle talk or are you heading somewhere with this?”
“Yes.”
“Schuldig.”
“It depends on you.”
“Are you truly that insatiable? Wait, of course you are.” But Farfarello would’ve said yes immediately if he didn’t know that his kitten would explode on him and feel even more justified in staying away from him after finding out it happened. And he would find out, because that was how life and living with telepaths worked.
The mindbreaker shrugged. “Nobody’s forcing you to do anything. I’m curious about your upgraded body and ki use, while you need something to calm you and help you sleep.”
“The side effects would be worse than any drug could cause.”
“So Aya can cockblock me even from thousands of kilometers away? Typical.”
“You’re bold. He’s only been away for a few hours and you’re already moving in.”
“You know I’m not big on propriety. I just go for what I want, and I haven’t had you in a long time.”
Farfarello realized. “You’re trying to distract me. It won’t work.”
“It’s not like I’m offering out of altruism, and I have it on good authority that I’m very distracting.”
“Get thee--” Farfarello broke it off when he realized how Schuldig would respond to the rest of that quote.
“--behind me, Satan? I have no problem with that position.”
“You’re annoying.”
“You’re surprised?”
“No. If you’re done telling me useful things I *need* to know, get off my couch so I can sleep.”
“Fine, fine.” The mindbreaker took his hand off Farfarello’s knee and stood up. “But tell me if you change your mind. Also, don’t get naked on this couch unless I’m involved.”
“Thou hypocrite.”
“Not this time, since it’s *our* couch. You can be naked on your own couch alone or with other company any time you want.”
“Now you’re just reminding me that my kitten isn’t around to be naked *with*.”
“So fragile you are!”
“Fuck off.” He couldn’t even fault Schuldig for being his usual self. In his own way, the mindbreaker had tried to help. It’d *failed*, but an attempt had been made.
It certainly beat being tied up, strapped down, chained up, hung upside-down from the ceiling, and locked in a room. Some would say he should count his blessings, but that hadn’t been his style for many years, most of his lifetime.
******************************************************
Schuldig bid Farfarello a fond farewell in favor of sitting at the kitchen table next to Brad, more receptive company. Besides, Brad seemed to be frustrated and suffering, while Schuldig had to bask in that and spread his sunshine around.
~ So, this morning’s job appears to have resulted in quite the clusterfuck, ~ Schuldig said, telepathically so Brad would be more comfortable being honest and Farfarello would be less likely to kibitz from the couch.
~ It’s not that bad. ~
~ It’s thrown Tokyo’s underworld into chaos, got more locals hunting us, messed with our jobs, and possibly put us back at war with Kritiker. ~
~ That last one was the result of Persia messing with Nagi and Nagi leaving Japan. All of that could’ve happened without this morning’s job. ~
~ Yes, but it sure as hell didn’t *help*. ~
~ ...we may have gone too far this morning, and my foresight missed the result from it not being able to foresee the excessive stupidity and weakness of said local underworld. We won’t suffer monetarily over *that*, just what we’ll miss from not being able to take jobs requiring Nagi’s talent and skills while he’s away. ~ Brad sounded very disgruntled, but at least he’d admitted that some of it was his fault. Progress.
~ Your precognition can’t see stupidity? It’s amazing you foresee anything then. ~
~ You sound far too happy considering all the shit that happened today. ~
Schuldig couldn’t help grinning. ~ I’m still mad at you for prioritizing that call from Persia over our nookie, and not everything worked out as I wanted, but today was exciting in good ways! ~
~ Nagi and Aya leaving the country? Not getting to have sex with Balinese? Farfarello being unstable as hell? ~
~ I got a lot of nookie, I got to order you around and see you suck Sasha off-- ~
~ For your sake, I hope you enjoyed it, because it’s not happening again. ~ Aw, so grumpy about it, which made it even better!
~ --I nearly lured Aya into bed with us, I got to meet Emory’s sister by video-phone and I’ll get to see her in person in the future, and I got to kill a *lot* of people. Besides, I enjoy chaos. ~
~ Of course you do. Much more than I do. Schwarz will suffer a downgrade in pay for as long as Nagi’s away. ~
~ I know the amount of money we get is your way of feeling like you’re winning at life, but we’re rich already, and if we’re unhappy with our earnings we can always get Nagi to embezzle more from people when he gets back. And he *will* come back. ~
~ I better not find out that you helped Nagi get away. ~
~ Who, me? No way. His being away gets me stuck with more duties in the team, and you know how much I hate having to do more work. ~
Brad still looked suspicious, but as long as he didn’t *know* anything....
~ How is Farfarello doing? Do we have to worry about a homicidal rampage? Him coming into our bedroom to stab us in our bed? Though whatever you answer, I’m still locking the bedroom door for how it would slow him down and give us some warning. ~
~ I wouldn’t argue against that precaution, but so far Farfie is holding onto his self-control tightly, partly because he really doesn’t want us to restrain and lock him away again and partly because he wants to be able to give a good account of himself to Aya when he returns. We can use that. ~ Schuldig kind of missed strapping Farfarello into his straitjacket; the motions had been weirdly soothing. ~ Farf’s more depressed and scared than angry and homicidal. ~
~ “Depressed and scared” isn’t reassuring. ~
~ Can you foresee anything on that? ~
~ No, for the usual Farfarello reasons. ~
Namely, too unpredictable and unsettled, and often unknown in advance even to himself. ~ So we keep a close eye on him, which is easier to do in our apartment. ~ If Farfarello went on a murder spree in the building they lived in, the media attention would make it easier for the people who wanted to kill Schwarz to find their home base and Schwarz would have to move again.
~ So, why did you proposition him? Because he’s pretty, because you want to experience his ki use during sex, or because you thought it might actually help him? ~
~ All three, plus I miss fucking him and he’s marinating in his suffering, making him even tastier. ~
~ You’re consistent. ~
~ Farfarello is unpredictable enough that I don’t have to contribute more of it. See how good I am to you? ~
Brad looked unimpressed by Schuldig’s noble deed. Well, fuck him. No, really, fuck him. Schuldig set his hand in Brad’s lap and stroked him. ~ Take a break. You can stare annoyed holes into our current job offers tomorrow. Besides, we’re keeping Farf awake while we’re in the kitchen with the lights on, and a sleep-deprived Farf is crazier and more mulish. ~
~ I could still ponder our jobs in the bedroom. ~
~ I’d prefer it if you didn’t. ~
~ I’m not exactly in the mood for sex right now. ~
~ The way you’re getting hard right now says otherwise. ~ Schuldig knew Brad wanted it.
~ My cock responds that way to almost anyone who strokes it, and it’s not the head I think with. You’re not worried that Farfarello would see us having sex as rubbing his face in his loss? ~
~ I’m *not* staying celibate the whole time Aya is away. ~ No way in hell. Schuldig felt concerned and sorry for Farfarello, but he wouldn’t stop living his own life over it, so he shouted to the living room, “Hey, Farf, you’ll be fine with me and Brad fucking in our bedroom, right? Not that I’ll accept no for an answer.”
“Then why’re you even asking?” Farf shouted back.
“I’m being considerate!”
“Then go fuck yourselves. I’m not so fragile.”
“See, he’s fine with it,” Schuldig said as he leaned into Brad’s side and kept on petting his dick through his pants. “I’ll let you top.”
“‘Let’ me? Get in the bedroom now.” Considerate and sweet of Brad to let himself be manipulated.
“Yes, sir!”