PLEASE GOD, LET ME FALL A SLEEP
It is past midnight and I should be in bed by now, but I can't sleep.
Yeah, I'm worried about money, about family issues, about "friends" thoughts... Why does it feel like I am never doing the right thing? I feels like I am always pissing people off and I don't even mean it... at least most of the time.
Once someone said "You are a horrible person". But Am I that bad???
I wish people would be a little bit more up front about their feelings towards me. That would actually help me change what's "wrong" and try to be a better person. Unfortunately, people will always go behind my back... and I guess the worst part is that it always get back to me.
Today I went to see Professor O'Connor. I love going to see her, because everytime I go there she treats me sooo well... and always seems like she is pleased to see me. It is a comforting feeling... I just with more of the people I consider my friends would do that.
I also need to work on speaking up my mind about my feelings. That's something Mike pointed out after he gave me the boot. I miss him a lot, and it made me feel a bit sad that he didn't seem that interested in talking to me on the phone yesterday.
There are tons of thoughts running thru my mind right now, and I have no idea how to organize it. All I want to do right now is to sleep.
Why can't it be a direct line to God? That way we can call him and ask directly what he wants from us. The past few days I've had this feeling that I am not serving my purpuse, yet, I dunno what my purpose in this planet is. I think only Doug will know what I am talking about, since he's been one of the very few people I've talked about my religion.
I really need some light in my life.
Yeah, I'm worried about money, about family issues, about "friends" thoughts... Why does it feel like I am never doing the right thing? I feels like I am always pissing people off and I don't even mean it... at least most of the time.
Once someone said "You are a horrible person". But Am I that bad???
I wish people would be a little bit more up front about their feelings towards me. That would actually help me change what's "wrong" and try to be a better person. Unfortunately, people will always go behind my back... and I guess the worst part is that it always get back to me.
Today I went to see Professor O'Connor. I love going to see her, because everytime I go there she treats me sooo well... and always seems like she is pleased to see me. It is a comforting feeling... I just with more of the people I consider my friends would do that.
I also need to work on speaking up my mind about my feelings. That's something Mike pointed out after he gave me the boot. I miss him a lot, and it made me feel a bit sad that he didn't seem that interested in talking to me on the phone yesterday.
There are tons of thoughts running thru my mind right now, and I have no idea how to organize it. All I want to do right now is to sleep.
Why can't it be a direct line to God? That way we can call him and ask directly what he wants from us. The past few days I've had this feeling that I am not serving my purpuse, yet, I dunno what my purpose in this planet is. I think only Doug will know what I am talking about, since he's been one of the very few people I've talked about my religion.
I really need some light in my life.