today's motto: love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.
every have one of those days where you'd rather just be in your bad mood, but everyone around keeps trying to get you in a good mood, so you have to act happy so you don't offend them?
that's today.
i feel like crawling under my bed. or just plain being alone. i thought about going downtown and just wandering around, maybe to the beach, but then there's volleyball today and i want us to get more participation points for greek week, even though its pretty much pointless.
i haven't talked to him since last night, his phone is off, he's going home in about 20 minutes. i was going to take a bus downtown so i could at least try to say goodbye to him, but i missed the last one that would have made it on time.
i'm so embarassed by my behavior. i feel horrible. and little. and childish. and stupid.
i want to be alone.
but everyone keeps being so nice.
and the weather is pretty nice today, so holing myself up in my room sounds too pathetic for even me.
i feel like i'm failing at life. how melodramatic of me.
god, i'm even embarassed at my embarassment.
this entry has to end now, because my thoughts are kind of just running circles and going no where. blah.
that's today.
i feel like crawling under my bed. or just plain being alone. i thought about going downtown and just wandering around, maybe to the beach, but then there's volleyball today and i want us to get more participation points for greek week, even though its pretty much pointless.
i haven't talked to him since last night, his phone is off, he's going home in about 20 minutes. i was going to take a bus downtown so i could at least try to say goodbye to him, but i missed the last one that would have made it on time.
i'm so embarassed by my behavior. i feel horrible. and little. and childish. and stupid.
i want to be alone.
but everyone keeps being so nice.
and the weather is pretty nice today, so holing myself up in my room sounds too pathetic for even me.
i feel like i'm failing at life. how melodramatic of me.
god, i'm even embarassed at my embarassment.
this entry has to end now, because my thoughts are kind of just running circles and going no where. blah.