I feel like shit, it happened yet again.

[virginplay17sn]

I'll make this short. I missed my moms fucking birthday for like what the 17th time. I'm 18 so yeah last year is the only year that I can remember where I actually fucking remembered and got my mom a birthday present. I think she expects for me to forget so it's not a big deal to her anymore which I think sucks. What type of a person does that make me you know. I don't know. I hate this feeling and it's not fair to her at all that I fuck up something so simple and meaningful to her. I dunno. I was just so wrapped up in myself and what I was doing that the whole September the 10th didn't even pass my mind. I got her nothing. I hate that as well. I was with my friends and shit while she was out with my dad and my brothers celebrating her birth by dinner at a nice restaurant. I came home and she was up of course. I really had no idea what to say to her. I just looked and avoided eye contact and that whole shabang. God I wanted to choke up, cry, and die right on the spot. Hurting from my mom hurts me and I'm sure she felt dissapointment which is never good. She NEVER forgets anything that pertains to me but sadly it doesn't seem to be vise versa when dealing with a person as myself. I dunno. Hopefully I'll stop forgetting and actually do something about this shit. It's fucking with me so bad and I just want to sleep now. That woman deserves better then that. SO much fucking BETTER!!!

So much for this being short huh? I think the ugly person is me. Buy me a beer...I want to pass out and end this mind game.