NUS cwc 07/08 submisions
Well...here goes nothing! I know they were are lame and horribly bad ( I cringe when I read it now) but meh, I was glad that at least I wrote something. And accomplished my goal of entering a writing competition. Onwards! And my friends didn't even know I wrote the short story with slash in mind. Hah! Ambiguity rocks...and it's proof that I'm nothing more than a pervy yaoi fanboy.
Ode to a lover
Rating: PG13
It’s been awhile since I last saw his smile. If I try hard enough, I can recall those rare smiles he used to shower on me - they were miles apart from the smile he wears these days.
Those smiles, as wide as the sea and farther, seemed to be plastered across his face. I wondered why no one bothered to tell him that he couldn't fool half the world with those smiles of his. After all, his smiles have never reached the windows of his souls - those cool glassy orbs that were mired in grief.
Was it just a defence against the world - a mask to help him face the world? Did he believe in the whole adage of smile and the whole world would smile with you? His true smiles, I’ve long since forgotten and I can only watch as he slowly wastes away before me. I wonder how long it’ll be before there’s a distinction between him and those beetles that hangs on his walls. Both just empty shells, beautiful to look at but fragile to the touch.
Sometimes... some times, I want to scream at him, to demand that he stops smiling. That it’s okay to break down - I want to tell him to seek help but I don’t; it’s a selfish secret of mine. Late at night, I pretend I don’t hear the heart wrenching sobs that emits from his room. I pretend nothing happens even if it’s just hard to ignore - I just try even if I can’t tell him it kills me time and time again to listen to that haunting melody. I wonder if I can ever erase those depressing sounds from my mind whenever I see him step out with his bloodshot eyes the very next day. Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sometimes I wonder if it's really true that boys who don't cry in public are the strong ones. Don't those face muscles ever tire? I’ve had plenty of time to think about it and I think they’re just stupid. He’s stupid.
But I never dare to tell him that - it is his smile that makes it worth my while when he finally falls asleep, lost in his memories no doubt. And I can pretend that those smiles are his apologies for not being able to be with me.
It’s an unspoken promise; far better than those useless blue hyacinths he orders and sends each Friday to me. I never tell him I hate those flowers, I can’t bear to break it to him, I never do. After all, they are a fitting substitute in his place.
I admit at times I feel guilty for I know he’s held himself back because of the promise we made to each other a long time ago. I guess he never saw the memo that forever lasted as much as one wants to. And I’ll admit too that I feel ecstatic beyond words that his love for me remains, even for so long. I can live with that knowledge, I most certainly can.
And it’s only a matter of time before he picks up those pills that tempt him each day in the bathroom. Only a matter of time before he comes back to my arms once again - until that day arrives, I shall just sit and ignore the aches in my heart as he wastes away. I’ll pretend I don’t know he’s dying because of me. It’ll only be a matter of time before all of these come to an end. I’m willing to wait, no matter how long it takes for that day to arrive.
After all, I’ve got all the time I need and then some.
Bloodbath
When opinions collide,
Tempers start to flare
And anger burns - it poisons the mind
A fight begins.
They bay for the enemy's blood
What's another chalk stain on the board
When one gets to write his story?
At what cost then,
This price of victory?
- There is no real victor
In this gamble with Fate.
Forever
I know I’ve promised you forever.
That I told you I would never leave you for another.
That my love for you would never fade away.
But I was too naive - fed on too many fairy tales to have never realised that feelings can and do fade with time. Even the stars in the heaven above would fade one day.
Forgive me for my love for you is ebbing away with the flow of time.
Forgive me for breaking the promise, for making a promise I couldn’t hold to.
I have to set you free for I just don’t love you no more.
Ode to a lover
Rating: PG13
It’s been awhile since I last saw his smile. If I try hard enough, I can recall those rare smiles he used to shower on me - they were miles apart from the smile he wears these days.
Those smiles, as wide as the sea and farther, seemed to be plastered across his face. I wondered why no one bothered to tell him that he couldn't fool half the world with those smiles of his. After all, his smiles have never reached the windows of his souls - those cool glassy orbs that were mired in grief.
Was it just a defence against the world - a mask to help him face the world? Did he believe in the whole adage of smile and the whole world would smile with you? His true smiles, I’ve long since forgotten and I can only watch as he slowly wastes away before me. I wonder how long it’ll be before there’s a distinction between him and those beetles that hangs on his walls. Both just empty shells, beautiful to look at but fragile to the touch.
Sometimes... some times, I want to scream at him, to demand that he stops smiling. That it’s okay to break down - I want to tell him to seek help but I don’t; it’s a selfish secret of mine. Late at night, I pretend I don’t hear the heart wrenching sobs that emits from his room. I pretend nothing happens even if it’s just hard to ignore - I just try even if I can’t tell him it kills me time and time again to listen to that haunting melody. I wonder if I can ever erase those depressing sounds from my mind whenever I see him step out with his bloodshot eyes the very next day. Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sometimes I wonder if it's really true that boys who don't cry in public are the strong ones. Don't those face muscles ever tire? I’ve had plenty of time to think about it and I think they’re just stupid. He’s stupid.
But I never dare to tell him that - it is his smile that makes it worth my while when he finally falls asleep, lost in his memories no doubt. And I can pretend that those smiles are his apologies for not being able to be with me.
It’s an unspoken promise; far better than those useless blue hyacinths he orders and sends each Friday to me. I never tell him I hate those flowers, I can’t bear to break it to him, I never do. After all, they are a fitting substitute in his place.
I admit at times I feel guilty for I know he’s held himself back because of the promise we made to each other a long time ago. I guess he never saw the memo that forever lasted as much as one wants to. And I’ll admit too that I feel ecstatic beyond words that his love for me remains, even for so long. I can live with that knowledge, I most certainly can.
And it’s only a matter of time before he picks up those pills that tempt him each day in the bathroom. Only a matter of time before he comes back to my arms once again - until that day arrives, I shall just sit and ignore the aches in my heart as he wastes away. I’ll pretend I don’t know he’s dying because of me. It’ll only be a matter of time before all of these come to an end. I’m willing to wait, no matter how long it takes for that day to arrive.
After all, I’ve got all the time I need and then some.
Bloodbath
When opinions collide,
Tempers start to flare
And anger burns - it poisons the mind
A fight begins.
They bay for the enemy's blood
What's another chalk stain on the board
When one gets to write his story?
At what cost then,
This price of victory?
- There is no real victor
In this gamble with Fate.
Forever
I know I’ve promised you forever.
That I told you I would never leave you for another.
That my love for you would never fade away.
But I was too naive - fed on too many fairy tales to have never realised that feelings can and do fade with time. Even the stars in the heaven above would fade one day.
Forgive me for my love for you is ebbing away with the flow of time.
Forgive me for breaking the promise, for making a promise I couldn’t hold to.
I have to set you free for I just don’t love you no more.