this life...
this life is not what I had planned on. I used to be able to write really pretty poetry. I don't know what happend. over the years I just became more uncomfortable being me. I guess all you can really count on being the same is people. people never change. no matter how bad you want them too. And sometimes even when it seems like your happy theres just something there thats missing. And sometimes you wonder what it would be like with another person, other friends, who knows a whole different life. I don't know where these feelings come from, but i do feel them. I know i act real tough, but i'm not. If you would have known me 3 years ago I was a completely different person. Maybe I just grew up? I don't know. all I know is I don't like it. And i think I know of one thing I need to change. But it'll be the hardest thing to let go of. For all of you that know me you probably know what I'm talking about, If you don't, I'm sorry but i don't have the heart to say it out loud because that would just make this problem way too real. I don't know anymore. I'm lost. I feel like i don't have anybody to depend on anymore. I don't know what happened to all the friends i thought I had. they all seem to dissapear when things get bad. who am I to judge though? I do the same thing.