Fic-dbsk-Brains (or the lack of)
Title: Brains or the lack of
Author:
virdant
Length: 923 words; one-shot
Rating: PG / PG-13
Genre: Supernatural / General / Humor / crack
Pairing: OT5, Jaeho
Summary: They have a bit of a problem... and it might just have to do with the fact that some of them just can't help themselves... The others glared at Junsu. “This is so not going to work,” Changmin sighed,
Warning: Undead creatures. Necrophilia (?)
Notes: I want to blame
muu_chan... but I don't think I can, because this is ALL ME. If you have complaints, direct them to ME. SHE TRIED TO STOP ME. (That's a lie, she egged me on with her : D's and etc...)
This was fun. A bit of harmless poking fun at vampire/werewolf/whatever supernatrual creature you are now cliches. No harm intended, I like vampire fics just as much as any other :D
If anybody has a better idea for the title, please suggest... we both suck at titling and thus this is the result.
Brains
or the lack of
Sometimes, Lee Soo Man wondered what he had been thinking when he put the five of them together.
It had been such a good idea at the time. The five of them were all amazingly talented, and they had that vibe that would allow them to take over Asia. They also had-upon meeting each other and eying the others warily-hit off remarkably well. They all had mild enough temperaments (despite Soo Man’s doubts) to get along with each other without much argument. It had seemed like such a good idea.
He really should have realized that something would have gone wrong.
*
As it would have happened, it started when they had to do fanservice.
“I refuse!” Jaejoong snarled, revealing sharp fangs.
“Like I want to do that with you?” Yunho retorted, snarling back, revealing fangs no less sharp.
Yoochun eyed Junsu warily. “But… he’s loud… and he screams…” Yoochun started to fade away at Junsu’s angry look.
Junsu opened his mouth to protest (loudly and shrilly).
Changmin drooled a little over his (personally packed) snack, never so glad that he was two years younger than the others.
*
Once they had conquered that obstacle, they had another one.
“I can’t,” Yunho said warily upon being told they had to perform. Outdoors. Under a full moon.
Jaejoong snorted not very nicely. At Yunho’s frown, Jaejoong grinned and ran a tongue over a sharp incisor. Yunho frowned and bared his teeth back.
“Night…” Changmin contemplated as he swallowed another bite of his snack.
Yoochun stared at Changmin’s food with a horrified expression. “At least cover it!” he cried out, snatching up a napkin to cover the slushy grey mess Changmin was slurping from a plastic bag.
Junsu laughed shrilly (and loudly).
The others winced and covered their ears.
“Why?” their manager declared in exasperation.
Yunho whispered something to their manager.
“I see,” he said after Yunho had pulled away. “I’ll… arrange things…” He glanced at the others. “Are the others?”
Yunho said something else softly.
“Oh.” Their manager eyed Changmin, happily eating. “Then…?”
An exchange of mutters.
“I… see…. Then Jaejoong?”
Jaejoong looked up at his name.
Yunho blanched and said something quickly, before hurrying towards Jaejoong, saying something softly.
Jaejoong replied just as softly, baring sharp teeth.
*
Of course, though, it had to be the romance.
“No biting!” Changmin ordered Yunho and Jaejoong as the two of them started another snarling love-fight. He dodged Yunho’s wild grasping hand. “And no dragging the others in! Hey! Sit!”
“I resent that!” Jaejoong snapped, pulling away from Yunho.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Changmin said, avoiding Yunho’s snarling lunge at being called a dog (“I’m not domesticated!”). “I like being what I am, thank you very much!”
Jaejoong hmphed. “You’re so fussy, Changmin.” He grabbed Yunho back. “Nothing’s going to happen.”
Changmin shook his head. “You don’t know that. And I just finished learning some very strange information. Did you know that there’ve been three reports of hybrids already?”
Jaejoong sulked.
Changmin sighed, before curling up with the two elders. “I’m just worried.”
“You stink,” Yunho groused.
“You do,” Jaejoong agreed with a delicate crinkle of his nose.
Yoochun, perched somewhere on the rafters let out a laugh; Junsu giggled shrilly in agreement.
“Shut up,” Changmin muttered, closing his eyes and running his fingers through Yunho’s hair. “Warm,” he muttered.
Jaejoong giggled behind a hand.
“You’re not warm,” Changmin informed Jaejoong loftily.
Yoochun joined the tangle, limbs sliding through the others as Junsu joined them.
For a while, it was calm, the five of them simply tangled together.
“We should do this more often,” Yoochun commented, stretching slightly.
Changmin eyed the translucent arm sticking out of Jaejoong’s chest, and refrained from commenting. Jaejoong eyed the arm and poked it, clearing finding a hand poking out of his chest amusing. For a while, they thought that Junsu hadn’t noticed; then they realized, as Junsu let out a shrill wail, that that thought had really been wishful thinking.
“He’s dead!” Junsu wailed.
Yunho jerked, biting down through Yoochun into Changmin’s decaying flesh. Changmin let out a yelp and hit Yunho, splitting his lip. Jaejoong eyed the blood contemplatively while Yoochun jerked and floated away.
After they detangled themselves, Jaejoong licking away the blood with a blissful sigh, Yoochun and Junsu helping Changmin sew his hand back on, Yunho offered, “We can try again?”
The others glared at Junsu. “This is so not going to work,” Changmin sighed, grabbing another chilled brain from the fridge. “And if I start howling at the moon, I’m blaming you,” he informed Yunho tartly.
*
And of course, Lee Soo Man hadn’t realized that the five of them would take his comment of taking over Asia seriously.
So when he was informed of influxes in vampire covens (“Yoongwoong Jaejoong, what were you thinking!”), werewolf attacks (“Yunho! I expected more of you!”), haunted hotel rooms (“Don’t tell me you were just talking about different ways to scare people, you’re supposed to help them move on, not encourage them to linger longer!”) banshee sightings (“Xiah Junsu, what were you doing in Brazil?”), and disappearances in brains from corpses and medical centers (“Shim Changmin, you did what?”), Lee Soo Man decided that he really hadn’t been thinking when he put them together. Who in their right minds would have put five undead together in one band?
But it had seemed like such a good idea at the time…
Concrit. Please.