fic - Johnny's & Associates - Music of the Spheres - Traveler in the Dark
Title: Traveler in the Dark
Author: virdant
Length: 5619 words; part of Music of the Spheres 'verse
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen
Pairing: Mentions of Yamapi x OC, mentions of Taguchi x OC
Summary: That night, Kamenashi dreamed again. This time, he was standing in Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a ball clutched in his hand. He felt his arm pull back, felt his weight shift, and waited for the ball to leave his hand and thud into the catcher's mitt. But there was no catcher, and instead of a steady swish-thud of leather hitting leather, there only a sharp twang as the ball crashed against a chain-link fence, and then he was awake.
Warning: OC, J&A displayed in a potentially negative light, Kamenashi being manipulative
Content Critique Level: No Holds Barred
Notes: After many months, the third (or fourth) installment of Music of the Spheres is finished. For clarity, please read BrightSTAR by reiicharu and Twinkle Twinkle first. (Additionally, I am quitting fandom which means that the last J&A fic you will read from me most likely will be MotS. And a surprise. or two ;)
Edit: Apologies, apparently the lj decided that it didn't like the latter parts of Traveler in the Dark. The post is now fixed.
Music of the Spheres
Part 3
Traveler in the Dark
Kamenashi dreamed of baseball.
He always dreamed of baseball; he couldn’t remember any dream that didn’t have the steady thud of a ball falling into a mitt or the heavy thwok of a metal bat sending the ball soaring far away. In his dreams, he stood in Tokyo Dome clutching a bat in his hands, only to wake up before he even finished swinging, he was practicing his pitches, and there was no sound he could hear but the steady swoosh-thud of the ball careening from the tips of his fingers into the catcher’s mitt, but he was awake, and he had thrown no such pitch.
Kamenashi didn’t like his dreams.
He woke up again, the ball mere millimeters away from his mitt. He turned to stare at his clock-he had only gotten a mere two hours of sleep again. He stormed out of bed, getting ready for the day even though the sun had yet to rise.
He slid on a pair of sunglasses all the same and went out to the nearest conbini. That was when he saw Taguchi and his new girlfriend splattered across the cover of a tabloid.
Kamenashi hissed and purchased the magazine, storming back to his apartment to read the entire article. In detail. Twice.
Damned if he was going to let Taguchi ruin everything they had worked for.
He sat and thought for a long time, thinking about the article until the words ran over and over in his head. How stupid could Taguchi have been?
The sun had risen when he picked up the phone to call Yamashita and demand an explanation.
*
Taguchi’s new girlfriend was named Ri, and she was bad for him.
Taguchi wasn’t supposed to stand up for her. When Taguchi had been dating Reina, he had let them talk trash about her straight to his face. Maybe it was a KAT-TUN thing, but all of them had gotten their girlfriends’ insulted.
Ueda had straight up told him that dating Koizumi Kyoko made the rest of the company suspect that he was gay and desperate to pretend that he was straight to the world. Kamenashi had gotten revenge by telling Taguchi that Ueda thought that Rena was a skank. Taguchi had smiled tightly, called Ueda some of the most obnoxiously cute names he could think of in private and public, and let the entire matter rest.
But Ri was different, and Kamenashi did not like it at all.
There weren't many things that Kamenashi didn't like, though the vast majority of his band would disagree with that statement. Kame simply enjoyed things fitting together, and he disliked everything that ruined his plans.
That wasn't a lot, according to Kamenashi.
Koki had asked Taguchi about the details of his new girlfriend. Taguchi had shrugged and said, “Ri-chan is Ri-chan.”
“But what does she do?” Nakamaru had asked.
“She makes pretty molecules. In Todai.” Taguchi had replied. Then he had smiled.
“But how did you meet?” Koki had asked.
“At a conbini.”
Kamenashi hadn't been able to help himself. “Isn't your precious Ri-chan Yamashita-kun's girlfriend?”
And now Ri was standing backstage, waiting for Taguchi to clean up after their Countdown performance. She was waiting for Taguchi, not Yamashita. There was something just wrong about this image.
But he would fix it. Taguchi could sit about and flirt with girls that were unwooed by their charisma, but Kame would make sure that Taguchi didn't screw KAT-TUN over. He would fix things.
You don't need to fix the world, Kamenashi.
Kamenashi ignored the voice-it sounded like Akanishi, and he wasn't fond of thinking of Akanishi any more. Akanishi had no right to say that to him; he wouldn't be fixing the world if it weren't for Akanishi.
It wasn't his fault he had to do this.
*
“Your chemist is cheating on you. If you want to do something about it, meet me at the coffee shop at 4 am. You know which one.”
Simple words. Yamashita would understand.
He didn't regret sending that text.
Not when Yamashita was waiting for him at 3:30 on a cold Febuary morning, two steaming cups of coffee sitting on the table.
*
This is how it begins, Kamenashi thought as he wrapped his hands around the paper cup, cap pulled over his eyes. “What do you want?”
“I want Taguchi Junnosuke out of my life,” Yamashita replied curtly. “I want him away from my girlfriend.”
“You're both in the same management agency,” Kamenashi drawled, feeling the heat scald his palms. “It'd be hard for Taguchi Junnosuke to be out of your life unless you murder him.”
Yamashita snorted.
“And you aren't going to murder Junno,” Kamenashi hissed. “He's KAT-TUN. And it's you and your obsession with this girl that's ruining KAT-TUN.”
Yamashita blinked a long languid blink.
“She's not even an idol, Yamashita.”
“Is that a problem, Kamenashi?”
Kamenashi rolled his eyes. “She doesn't understand our life. She shouldn't be dating an idol. And she certainly shouldn't be dating Junno. Junno has better options than to be involved with a girl who thinks that it's alright to date two guys at once.”
“She isn't dating Taguchi,” Yamashita snapped.
“Well, she certainly isn't dating you,” Kamenashi spat back, the heat heavy against his palms. “Who's place did she go for New Years? It certainly wasn't to visit your family.”
Yamashita glared. “It won't happen again.”
“But it will,” Kamenashi said lowly. “It will unless you stop it.”
Yamashita laughed. “So break them up. You're the leader of KAT-TUN aren't you? Why don't you just tell Taguchi to leave my girl alone!”
The barista looked at them.
Kamenashi sipped his coffee. It burned on his tongue, just short of scalding. “People are watching us, Yamashita.”
Yamashita snorted.
“Taguchi doesn't listen to me when I tell him to break up with your girlfriend. He says they're just friends. And quite frankly, Yamapi, you aren't doing a good job of holding onto your girl.”
Yamashita rolled his eyes. “Fine. You tell me when she's with Taguchi, and I'll break them up.”
“And how do you propose that?”
Yamashita smiled, and Kamenashi could see the cogs in his head turning. “Just tell me whenever they're together. I'm sure Management would disapprove of Taguchi Junnosuke dating a girl so openly.”
*
“Did you tell Management that I'm dating Ri-chan?”
Kamenashi blinked at Taguchi, the sports section of the newspaper crinkling as his hands fisted involuntarily. “Excuse me?” he repeated.
Taguchi sat down across from him, his eyes serious. “Did you tell Management that I'm dating Ri-chan, Kazuya?”
Yamashita moved fast, Kamenashi thought wryly. “No,” he said calmly. “It must have been somebody else.”
“They said it was you.”
“It wasn't me.”
Taguchi frowned slightly. “I don't see why Management would lie.”
Kamenashi shrugged. “Why would I tell Management about your love life?”
“Because you hate Ri-chan?”
Kamenashi snorted. “I hated Komine too. I didn't tell Management you were screwing her brains out. You're KAT-TUN. Have you forgotten that we protect our own?” He smirked, ignoring the faint twinge of guilt-it would be worth it, in the end, when that chemist was gone and KAT-TUN was breaking records again-and continued, “I didn't think you were like Akanishi. Next thing we know you'll be leaving us for LA with your chemist.”
Taguchi narrowed his eyes, a polite smile etched on his face. “Ri-chan lives in San Diego.”
“My point exactly.” Kame turned back to his newspaper. “I have to look over this again. Recording later.”
“Of course,” Taguchi said, smiling. “Work hard, Kame-chan.”
Kamenashi nodded. “Same to you, Taguchi.”
*
“Management wants pictures.”
Three words.
“Are you sure that it's management who wants them, and not you, Yamashita?” Kamenashi struggled to keep his voice calm.
“They aren't going to give Taguchi a warning unless there's actual evidence.”
“And him being caught with your girlfriend at a train station at night isn't evidence?” Kamenashi hissed, leaning against the door. The edges of his phone dug into his hand, despite its rounded edges. “That visit during new years isn't evidence?”
“Look, do you want Rebecca-chan away from Taguchi or not?”
Kamenashi snorted. “Don't act like you're doing me a favor.”
“Aren't I? Don't you want Taguchi to pay attention to you instead of Rebecca-chan?”
“You make me sound like a love-struck girl,” Kamenashi spat.
“No. I don't think you're the girl in this relationship,” Yamashita said in slow careful Japanese. “I think you're the guy, and KAT-TUN's about ready to break up with you.”
Kamenashi hung up.
*
That night, Kamenashi dreamed again. This time, he was standing in Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a ball clutched in his hand. He felt his arm pull back, felt his weight shift, and waited for the ball to leave his hand and thud into the catcher's mitt.
But there was no catcher, and instead of a steady swish-thud of leather hitting leather, there only a sharp twang as the ball crashed against a chain-link fence, and then he was awake.
*
“Fine.”
One word.
Yamashita would understand.
*
There was something sickening about calling all of his contacts in the tabloids-he didn't have that many, because his manager usually took care of these things for him-and telling them to follow Taguchi around.
And that chemist girl.
“Ri-chan,” Taguchi had called her.
“Rebecca-chan,” Yamashita had called her.
“Rebecca Chung,” Yamada-kun said. “Studying Organic Synthesis in Todai under Kobayashi. It's a one year program, apparently. A bit like an exchange program, except not really. Nobody's entirely certain about the details. A minimal stipend, according to her. From San Diego, UC San Diego. She did her undergraduate degree there. What more do you want to know, Kamenashi-kun?”
“What's her relationship with Taguchi?” Kamenashi demanded.
“Taguchi Junnosuke?” Yamada-kun asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, she's dating him, isn't she?”
Kamenashi laughed, short and bitter.
“Anyways, when are you going to give me my gossip? What's the point of having a guy like you in the entertainment industry if you can't even help out.”
Kamenashi laughed again. This time, he smiled as he said, “Sorry I'm asking you to keep this quiet.”
“It's no problem. So what's the deal with this? Is she not dating Taguchi or something? Because if she isn't, she sure is sending the wrong messages to the guy.”
“She's dating Yamashita.”
“Yamapi Yamashita, like, NEWS Yamashita?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow....” There was a long pause before Yamada-kun added. “Who would think that a nerd like her would get around like that?”
*
“Did you know that your Junno-kun's going to Disneyland with that chemist girl? I got a snapshot of them. You better reimburse me for my Disneyland ticket, by the way. I did not budget for this, Kame-kun.”
Kamenashi frowned at the message on his phone, the picture of Taguchi smiling fondly at Yamashita's girlfriend grainy and pixelated, but clear enough.
He forwarded it to Yamashita with a note of: “This enough for you, Yamashita?”
He didn't get a response. He wasn't expecting one.
*
“So, Kamenashi,” Nishikido drawled as they passed each other. Kamenashi had gotten a drama offer, and he was going with his manager to discuss it. “I hear that you're doing Pi's dirty work for him. What got your knickers in a twist, Taguchi getting some while you weren't?”
It was strangely satisfying to watch Nishikido flinch as his fist slammed into Nishikido's nose. It was like watching a movie, with the pain slowly, absently, spreading across his knuckles and up his arm.
“Fuck! You didn't have to hit that hard, Kamenashi!”
“What do you know?” Kamenashi snapped.
Nishikido rolled his eyes. “What else is there to know? Pi's girl and Taguchi went on a date, you found out and told Yamapi, Yamapi got her to come over, and then Taguchi storms over in a huff and drags her out. What's wrong with your band-mate anyways, Kamenashi?”
“There's nothing wrong with Taguchi.” Kamenashi rolled his eyes. “There's nothing wrong with anybody in KAT-TUN, which is more than I can say for NewS or Kanjani8.”
Nishikido scowled. “If you keep this up, it isn't just going to be Kusano and Uchi leaving groups in disgrace. Fix your band-mates.” He stalked off.
Kamenashi laughed, shortly. “They won't need fixing,” he murmured quietly to the silence. “I won't let KAT-TUN fall apart. Not again.”
*
“Ahh, Kamenashi-kun.” The producer looked at him soberly.
Kamenashi bowed. His manager glared at him from his position behind the producer, where he had been discussing something with the director.
“We think that maybe Taguchi-kun would be a better choice,” the director said politely. “You don't quite bring the same vitality that he did in his audition.”
Kamenashi bowed again. “Thank you for your time,” he said, unfailingly polite.
They bowed back. “Thank you for your time,” they repeated.
His manager glared at him as they walked away. “Why did you have to punch Nishikido in the face? Why couldn't you aim at the shoulder?”
“Taguchi needs more exposure anyways.”
His manager dragged him into an alcove. “Don't make excuses for shoddy behavior, Kamenashi. I understand that you only want what's best for KAT-TUN, but you have a piss-poor way of showing it.”
Kamenashi glared back. “Don't you dare judge me. What have you been doing for KAT-TUN?”
“Don't give me that, Kamenashi.”
“Aren't you supposed to manage us? Make us great? Well, maybe you need to be doing a better job.”
“Don't be a bastard, Kamenashi. It's really hard for me to do my job when you do things like punch Nishikido. Now let's get back to the jimusho. You have a new album to discuss.”
*
Kamenashi was in their discussion room, sprawled out on the couch with an arm over his eyes when he heard the door open and two people walk in. “How was your day off?” Nakamaru asked softly.
“Good,” Taguchi said with a vague smile in his voice. “I went to Disneyland with Ri-chan, but we had to leave early.”
Nakamaru hesitated for a second. “Isn't... Ri-san....”
“Rebecca,” Taguchi said quietly. “Her name is Rebecca.”
“Rebecca-san. Isn't she dating Yamashita?” Kamenashi could see Nakamaru frowning, even though his eyes were closed in feigned sleep on the couch. “Are you sure that spending time with her is a good idea, Junno?”
“Did you know that when Ri-chan smiles, really smiles, not those small twists of her mouth, but wide smiles, her eyes crinkle at the edges and she stops looking sad? We became idols to make girls smile, didn't we? I think I want to see Ri-chan smile more.”
A pause.
“Junno...” Nakamaru began.
And Kamenashi wished that this was a dream.
But it wasn't. Because all of Kamenashi's dreams were of Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a baseball in his hand but a catcher nowhere in sight.
*
“Good luck on your drama, Taguchi-kun.”
Taguchi looked back at Kamenashi, mildly. “Did you set this up?”
Kamenashi smiled back. “I want what's best for you.”
“And that means a drama?”
“Isn't this what we want? For KAT-TUN to make it world-wide? We can't do that unless we get popular. Unless we beat Akanishi.”
Taguchi blinked back at him, and then he smiled. “Thanks, Kazuya.”
*
Sometimes, in his dreams, he would see what looked like a person in the outfield, watching him.
But whenever he turned from his position on the mound, there was just the steady emptiness of a field without a game being played. Just the quiet of the night, the lights off, and the taste of freshly watered grass on the tip of his tongue.
*
“Did you know that Taguchi Junnosuke's visiting his chemist girlfriend again?”
“Again?”
“He's been in her place for a good two hours already, Kame-kun. This is pretty serious. You weren't kidding when you said your Taguchi was obsessed with this girl.”
“He won't be.”
Yamada laughed. “Then you better get on it, shouldn't you?”
“Aren't you supposed to be getting me information?”
“I watched Taguchi Junnosuke enter an apartment where Rebecca Chung lives. I think that this is plenty of information.”
*
On his way to another album meeting, Kamenashi stopped outside the room at the sound of Koyama's voice. It was fond as Koyama said, “Ryo-chan's so much happier these days.”
Kamenashi scowled. Nishikido certainly didn't seem happy last time he saw him.
“That's good. He's been upset for a while, hasn't he?” Nakamaru's voice was amused.
“Well, he's been busy, so it's to be expected, really. He's working on that drama with Taguchi-kun, isn't he?”
“Yeah. Taguchi's been busy because of it.”
“Oh. That's a coincidence, isn't it?”
Nakamaru's voice was confused. “Coincidence?”
“Ah, nothing really. It's just that Ryo-chan and Taguchi-kun are both close to Rebecca-san, aren't they?”
*
“What's up, Kame-kun?”
“Nishikido's spending time with that chemist girl?”
Yamada hesitated over the phone line. “Nishikido Ryo?”
“Yeah. What is with that girl and getting around with all of the company? What is she doing?”
“Kame-kun.”
“What's with her? What's wrong with her? Why can't she stay away from us?”
“Kame.”
“She doesn't belong here, Yamada. She doesn't belong around any of us. Why can't she take her drugs and leave us alone?”
“Kazuya.”
Kamenashi paused. “Yamada?” he asked, tentatively. For a moment, Yamada's voice had sounded like-and it was Yamada on the phone, it had to be, it had been Yamada he had called, not...
Taguchi Junnosuke.
But Taguchi wasn't here. Taguchi was with his precious chemist girl, having dinner. Or a movie. A date. The words were bitter in his mouth, that girl with chemicals on her hands-like blood, waiting to catch Taguchi and rip him away from KAT-TUN.
“Breathe, Kazu-kun. I'll look into it. Don't worry.”
*
That night, Kamenashi's dreams were of the smell of damp dirt. The mound was steady under his feet, the field silent.
He threw a thousand empty pitches to an empty base, watched a hundred invisible strikeouts.
He woke to the steady sound of his alarm reminding him that he only was going to be getting three hours of sleep this night.
*
Yamada mailed him in the afternoon.
“Did you know she's going out with Taguchi tomorrow?”
Kame was in the middle of another meeting with the producers for Going! Sports and News, but when he read the message an hour after it was sent, all he felt was a strange exhaustion.
He called Yamada when he was in a company car going home.
“What are we going to do, Yamada?”
“Nothing.”
His breath caught. “Nothing?” he repeated.
“Nothing.” Yamada laughed a little. “What are you going to do? Warn Taguchi away? That didn't work. And clearly Yamashita can't keep his supposed girlfriend under control.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“I don't know.”
Kamenashi laughed. “Aren't you supposed to? You're in the tabloids, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to know everything?”
There was a long pause, and then Yamada said quietly, “Don't put all your eggs in the same basket, Kame-chan. Isn't that why you went to the Johnny's tryout?”
“I was forced to go to that.”
“Your parents knew best.”
“I didn't choose to stop playing baseball.”
“But you still did, didn't you.”
“Are you upset at me too, Yamada?”
“I would never be upset at you for that, Kazu-kun. I'm not in baseball anymore either, am I.”
“I didn't choose to quit baseball.”
“I never said that you did.”
“I'm not going to let KAT-TUN fail, Yamada. You believe me when I say that, don't you?”
“Yes. Anything for you, Kazu-kun.”
*
There was a long week of no information. Yamada didn't pick up his phone with Kamenashi called him. He didn't respond to Kamenashi's messages. Kamenashi stopped sleeping, unwilling to face an empty field without Yamada.
*
“You look like death,” Taguchi commented as they met to discus their upcoming single. “Are you sleeping?”
Kamenashi stared listlessly at Taguchi, hair cut in anticipation of his drama. “How's... Ri-san?”
“We haven't been seeing as much of each other because we're both so busy, but she's been good! We're going to meet for udon tomorrow.”
“Oh. Have fun.” He smiled, strained and awkward.
Taguchi's phone beeped, and they parted ways. Kamenashi had two more meetings for the day. His manager had to remind him to keep smiling.
*
Midnight. 1 am. 2 am. 3:21 am.
“Kame-kun, did you know that your chemist's friend is seeing Nishikido Ryo?
*
It was easy to slide Taguchi's phone from his bag under the pretense of admiring a new charm that Taguchi had picked up. It was even easier to slide out the door to use the restroom with Taguchi's phone in hand.
Call history was useful for once. Yamashita's chemist picked up after the third ring.
“Jun-kun?”
“Stay away from Taguchi Junnosuke.”
A pause, and then the chemist girl laughed shortly. “Who's talking?”
“Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“I see. Is this like the jealous lover trying to break us up? I would think that'd be Yamashita.”
“So you admit that you're dating Taguchi?”
“I didn't admit anything. Taguchi Junnosuke and I are just friends.”
“Stay away from him. You don't deserve to be around him.”
“That type of attitude probably doesn't make you a lot of fans, Kamenashi Kazuya-kun. Which is just ironic, considering how popular you are.”
“What would you know?”
“Nothing. Of course. Now put Jun-kun's phone back into his bag, you thief.”
*
He did, but not before copying down Ri's phone number. And her email.
He didn't email her though. Not until Yamada mailed him two days later.
“Did you know that Yamashita's cheating on that chemist with the chemist's roommate? What's in the water in that building, some sort of idol attraction pheromone?”
“You don't even know what pheromones are, Yamada.”
“Of course I do. They make guys do stupid things in the name of love.”
*
“What do you think you're doing?” Kamenashi screamed into his phone. “That's her roommate. You're fucking your girlfriend's roommate! You think the tabloids won't be able to get a hold of that sort of information?”
“What?”
“What are you thinking, Yamashita?”
“I think I'm thinking of how the fuck you get your information.” Yamashita's voice was low and furious. “And that you should keep better hours. It's a wonder your neighbors haven't complained, if you're screaming at three in the morning.”
“You're fucking your girlfriend's roommate! Just because you aren't getting any doesn't mean you can afford a cheating scandal.”
“So report me. That's what you want, isn't it? For NEWS to collapse? So KAT-TUN can rise to the top. You drove Jin away, but you aren't satisfied, are you. You want nothing short of yourself at the top of the foodchain, and you're mad that I'm still beating your whole group in sales.”
Kamenashi clutched his phone. “Go fuck yourself. Or your girlfriend's roommate, since cheating seems to be more up your alley.”
*
“I'm not unreasonable, Yamada. I'm not.”
“Of course you aren't.”
“Tell me that this is the right choice.”
“Always do your best. Regardless of what you're doing. Isn't that your life philosophy?”
*
It only took a little bit of flirting to persuade a PA to help Taguchi lose his phone. And only a little bit more effort to persuade the same PA to find it two days after Taguchi's session. And if the PA just happened to find it on the same day of Kamenashi's recording session for their new single, well, that was just a coincidence, wasn't it?
“Coffee tomorrow?” Kamenashi sent. He added a few emoji for good measure.
The response came a good thirty minutes later. “Busy. How about the day after?”
Kamenashi paused, running through his schedule before he agreed. “4 pm.” He attached the address. And if it happened to be the same one he met Yamashita at two and a half weeks ago at 4 am, well, today just happened to be full of coincidences!
*
The evening before, he dreamed of soundless chants in his ears, though nobody was around. He could feel the reverberations from a thousand spectators chanting his name, even though none of them existed.
*
Ri was waiting for him in the coffee shop. She looked nothing like an idol, though she had the exhausted look of too many sleepless nights down. Her hair was tied loosely back with a rubberband, and she was tapping a pencil against her lip as she studied the papers in front of her.
“Yamashita is cheating on you.”
It was supposed to be a bombshell, but Ri merely blinked mildly up at him. “You're in Jun-kun's group, whatever it's called.”
“KAT-TUN,” Kamenashi wanted to say, but he didn't. He waited.
She fiddled with her pencil. “I did tell you to not steal Jun-kun's phone. Though if you messaged me from your own, I probably wouldn't have payed it any attention. Is there any reason you wanted to see me? At this...” She gestured around her. “This place.”
Kamenashi slid into the seat before, slipping his phone from his pocket. “The fact that your boyfriend is cheating on you with your roommate doesn't bother you?” He had prepared for this time. This time he was going to split Ri and Taguchi apart.
“Of course it does,” Rebecca said flatly. “But should I cry in public? Just to give you the satisfaction? This isn't a romance drama.” She set her pencil down on the papers full of reaction mechanisms. “You're Kame-chan.”
“Kamenashi Kazuya,” Kamenashi said curtly.
“Jun-kun calls you Kame-chan,” Rebecca said lazily. “Despite the fact that you don't seem close to him at all, you let him call you by a nickname. How odd, don't you think? You're very interesting, don't you think?”
Kamenashi snorted. “I suppose you think you have all the answers? Should I call you Rebecca-san or Ri-san?”
“You can call me Ri. I doubt your ability to say Rebecca anyways.”
“Does Yamashita know about that tongue of yours? It could give Nishikido's a run for his money.”
Rebecca smiled sweetly. “I prefer being nice to the vast majority of the world.”
“So you're only mean to me.”
Rebecca didn't say anything for a moment. Then she very quietly said, “Does this make you happy?”
Kamenashi leaned back in his seat, watching Rebecca.
“How many times did you follow Yamashita-kun around to get a picture of him with Sen? Did you see everything else? I suppose you took the pictures of me and Jun-kun at the amusement park. Do you not have a life? I thought that you were supposed to be the busy one in Jun-kun's group.”
“Are you done?” Kamenashi stared at her, wondering if she could read Yamada's existence in the corners of his eyes.
“But I can't really blame you,” Rebecca said thoughtfully. “Because we're the same, really. You have to know things. You have to be in control, don't you? It drives you up the wall when Jun-kun ignores you during your meetings.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes.
Rebecca smiled lopsidedly at him. “We're exactly the same. I just choose not to mess with people. Why play with people when I can play with something infinitesimally small?”
“Every time I could,” Kamenashi lied, clutching Yamada's existence tightly to him. She would never get her hands on Yamada. “And yes, I did take the pictures of you and Junno. Or I got a fan to follow him.”
“I thought it was strange that nobody seemed to ever catch on to the fact that Yamashita's car was always in Todai's parking lot.”
“I suppose you're going to tell them that I've been spying on them?”
Rebecca laughed a little. She picked up her pencil again, tapping it against the paper. “Of course not. That's up to you to tell. It's your relationship.”
“Just like you won't confront Yamashita.”
Rebecca nodded. “Exactly.”
“You don't like him at all. You like Junno.”
“You're smarter than Yamashita-kun, Kamenashi-san.”
Kamenashi snorted. “Coming from you, I hear that's the highest compliment possible.”
“Yamashita-kun isn't very smart.” Rebecca smiled a little. “Yes, Jun-kun is very nice. Yes, I am far more fond of Jun-kun than Yamashita-kun... but I don't like him. I don't like anything except for my research.”
“That's what Yamahsita-kun said, but I find that hard to believe.”
Rebecca smiled wider. “Of course. It's a lie. But I don't have a boyfriend.”
“Yamashita disagrees.”
“Yamashita-kun has communication problems. I learned from my first relationship never to date somebody with communication problems.”
“So you aren't going to do anything about Yamashita cheating on you.”
Rebecca laughed and leaned forward, her mouth twisting into a slight smile. “I know you won't tell, because if you tell them this, then I'll share your precious secret to the world.” She held up a small mp3 player. “I've been recording this, I'm not stupid at all, and I purchased this mp3 player to record chemistry lectures. Yamashita-kun can't cheat on somebody he's not dating. After all, it's not official unless it's on facebook.”
*
Kame dreamed of Tokyo Dome, the lights burning into his eyes from where he stood on the pitcher's mound.
There was a crowd watching him, roaring in symphony, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Their eyes were focused on him, and he rolled the baseball around his hand, slapping the ball into his mitt.
But when he drew back his arm to throw, he stopped.
There was no batter, and no catcher either. He whirled around, scanning the field, and then turned to stare at the batting cage again.
No one.
The ball slipped from his fingers, but it didn't matter, because there was no batter to steal first, no runner to steal second, third, home.
And he woke up.
*
Taguchi came in to the dance rehearsal with his lips strained into a tight smile. He delivered his puns perfectly on time, and then proceeded to ignore Kamenashi's existence except to say, “Please pass the towels.”
“I did it for us,” Kamenashi hissed to Ueda, who had his headphones on. Ueda stared steadily back at Kamenashi, taking in the movements of his lips but ignoring every word coming out of Kamenashi's mouth. “I did it for KAT-TUN. You understand that, right?”
Ueda shrugged, head bobbing to the music.
“I want to know why they broke up,” Kamenashi whispered. “I want to know what made that frigid bitch decide to stop stringing Taguchi along and let him go. I want to know if it worked.”
Ueda smiled tightly, eyes closed. “This is a good song,” he murmured, pushing one headphone back so he could hear Kamenashi. “Want to know what it's about?”
Kamenashi shrugged.
“A girl. She was murdered, and they never found who killed her. Sad, isn't it?”
“Very.”
*
“I don't think that they're dating anymore, Kame-kun.”
“I don't think so either.” He couldn't forget the look of steady contemplation that Taguchi had given him instead of a smile today. But Taguchi would get over it tomorrow during their second rehearsal. He would. “Thanks, Yamada.”
“No problem. Anything for you, remember? You owe me some juicy gossip though.”
“How about this. Nishikido Ryo's fucking Yun Seira. That chemist's roommate.”
*
It was dark. The rest of KAT-TUN were gone from the dressing room already, and Kamenashi was taking the moment in the quiet to just relax. It was over. Taguchi and that chemist girl of Yamashita's wouldn't be getting together, because she was happy with Yamashita again, and KAT-TUN would be safe. They would be happy.
“Kame-chan,” Taguchi's voice said from the doorway. He stepped in, closing the door behind him.
Kamenashi looked up, a comment of: “Lonely now that your chemist is with Yamashita,” on his lips.
“I forgive you,” Taguchi said.
Kamenashi reeled back a little.
Taguchi stepped forward. “I really did like Ri-chan, you know.”
“Taguchi,” he tried to respond, but the words caught in his throat.
“I forgive you,” Taguchi repeated. “But I can't forget this, Kame-chan.”
Kamenashi struggled with his throat, which suddenly seemed dry with horror when triumph had been right by his fingertips a second ago. “Taguchi,” he began.
“Ri-chan is beautiful,” Taguchi said. “When she talks about chemistry, her face lights up. When she takes care of Sen-chan, her eyes grow fond. When she fights, she tilts her chin up and her eyes narrow. But Ri-chan is beautiful because she lives with everything she can. She gives everything she can to what she believes in.”
There's a pause, and Kamenashi thinks he can hear Taguchi whisper: “Just like you.”
“The difference between Ri-chan and you, Kame-chan, is that Ri-chan never tried to hurt anybody. She wanted people to be happy. She gave herself for what she believed in, and she didn't try to give other people who didn't believe in that same thing. That's what makes Ri-chan beautiful.”
And then Taguchi turned and left.
Kamenashi sat there in the dark, closed his eyes, and began to cry.
End.
Masterlist of fandoms here
Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here
More Music of the Spheres fanfiction here at the masterpost
Author: virdant
Length: 5619 words; part of Music of the Spheres 'verse
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen
Pairing: Mentions of Yamapi x OC, mentions of Taguchi x OC
Summary: That night, Kamenashi dreamed again. This time, he was standing in Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a ball clutched in his hand. He felt his arm pull back, felt his weight shift, and waited for the ball to leave his hand and thud into the catcher's mitt. But there was no catcher, and instead of a steady swish-thud of leather hitting leather, there only a sharp twang as the ball crashed against a chain-link fence, and then he was awake.
Warning: OC, J&A displayed in a potentially negative light, Kamenashi being manipulative
Content Critique Level: No Holds Barred
Notes: After many months, the third (or fourth) installment of Music of the Spheres is finished. For clarity, please read BrightSTAR by reiicharu and Twinkle Twinkle first. (Additionally, I am quitting fandom which means that the last J&A fic you will read from me most likely will be MotS. And a surprise. or two ;)
Edit: Apologies, apparently the lj decided that it didn't like the latter parts of Traveler in the Dark. The post is now fixed.
Music of the Spheres
Part 3
Traveler in the Dark
Kamenashi dreamed of baseball.
He always dreamed of baseball; he couldn’t remember any dream that didn’t have the steady thud of a ball falling into a mitt or the heavy thwok of a metal bat sending the ball soaring far away. In his dreams, he stood in Tokyo Dome clutching a bat in his hands, only to wake up before he even finished swinging, he was practicing his pitches, and there was no sound he could hear but the steady swoosh-thud of the ball careening from the tips of his fingers into the catcher’s mitt, but he was awake, and he had thrown no such pitch.
Kamenashi didn’t like his dreams.
He woke up again, the ball mere millimeters away from his mitt. He turned to stare at his clock-he had only gotten a mere two hours of sleep again. He stormed out of bed, getting ready for the day even though the sun had yet to rise.
He slid on a pair of sunglasses all the same and went out to the nearest conbini. That was when he saw Taguchi and his new girlfriend splattered across the cover of a tabloid.
Kamenashi hissed and purchased the magazine, storming back to his apartment to read the entire article. In detail. Twice.
Damned if he was going to let Taguchi ruin everything they had worked for.
He sat and thought for a long time, thinking about the article until the words ran over and over in his head. How stupid could Taguchi have been?
The sun had risen when he picked up the phone to call Yamashita and demand an explanation.
*
Taguchi’s new girlfriend was named Ri, and she was bad for him.
Taguchi wasn’t supposed to stand up for her. When Taguchi had been dating Reina, he had let them talk trash about her straight to his face. Maybe it was a KAT-TUN thing, but all of them had gotten their girlfriends’ insulted.
Ueda had straight up told him that dating Koizumi Kyoko made the rest of the company suspect that he was gay and desperate to pretend that he was straight to the world. Kamenashi had gotten revenge by telling Taguchi that Ueda thought that Rena was a skank. Taguchi had smiled tightly, called Ueda some of the most obnoxiously cute names he could think of in private and public, and let the entire matter rest.
But Ri was different, and Kamenashi did not like it at all.
There weren't many things that Kamenashi didn't like, though the vast majority of his band would disagree with that statement. Kame simply enjoyed things fitting together, and he disliked everything that ruined his plans.
That wasn't a lot, according to Kamenashi.
Koki had asked Taguchi about the details of his new girlfriend. Taguchi had shrugged and said, “Ri-chan is Ri-chan.”
“But what does she do?” Nakamaru had asked.
“She makes pretty molecules. In Todai.” Taguchi had replied. Then he had smiled.
“But how did you meet?” Koki had asked.
“At a conbini.”
Kamenashi hadn't been able to help himself. “Isn't your precious Ri-chan Yamashita-kun's girlfriend?”
And now Ri was standing backstage, waiting for Taguchi to clean up after their Countdown performance. She was waiting for Taguchi, not Yamashita. There was something just wrong about this image.
But he would fix it. Taguchi could sit about and flirt with girls that were unwooed by their charisma, but Kame would make sure that Taguchi didn't screw KAT-TUN over. He would fix things.
You don't need to fix the world, Kamenashi.
Kamenashi ignored the voice-it sounded like Akanishi, and he wasn't fond of thinking of Akanishi any more. Akanishi had no right to say that to him; he wouldn't be fixing the world if it weren't for Akanishi.
It wasn't his fault he had to do this.
*
“Your chemist is cheating on you. If you want to do something about it, meet me at the coffee shop at 4 am. You know which one.”
Simple words. Yamashita would understand.
He didn't regret sending that text.
Not when Yamashita was waiting for him at 3:30 on a cold Febuary morning, two steaming cups of coffee sitting on the table.
*
This is how it begins, Kamenashi thought as he wrapped his hands around the paper cup, cap pulled over his eyes. “What do you want?”
“I want Taguchi Junnosuke out of my life,” Yamashita replied curtly. “I want him away from my girlfriend.”
“You're both in the same management agency,” Kamenashi drawled, feeling the heat scald his palms. “It'd be hard for Taguchi Junnosuke to be out of your life unless you murder him.”
Yamashita snorted.
“And you aren't going to murder Junno,” Kamenashi hissed. “He's KAT-TUN. And it's you and your obsession with this girl that's ruining KAT-TUN.”
Yamashita blinked a long languid blink.
“She's not even an idol, Yamashita.”
“Is that a problem, Kamenashi?”
Kamenashi rolled his eyes. “She doesn't understand our life. She shouldn't be dating an idol. And she certainly shouldn't be dating Junno. Junno has better options than to be involved with a girl who thinks that it's alright to date two guys at once.”
“She isn't dating Taguchi,” Yamashita snapped.
“Well, she certainly isn't dating you,” Kamenashi spat back, the heat heavy against his palms. “Who's place did she go for New Years? It certainly wasn't to visit your family.”
Yamashita glared. “It won't happen again.”
“But it will,” Kamenashi said lowly. “It will unless you stop it.”
Yamashita laughed. “So break them up. You're the leader of KAT-TUN aren't you? Why don't you just tell Taguchi to leave my girl alone!”
The barista looked at them.
Kamenashi sipped his coffee. It burned on his tongue, just short of scalding. “People are watching us, Yamashita.”
Yamashita snorted.
“Taguchi doesn't listen to me when I tell him to break up with your girlfriend. He says they're just friends. And quite frankly, Yamapi, you aren't doing a good job of holding onto your girl.”
Yamashita rolled his eyes. “Fine. You tell me when she's with Taguchi, and I'll break them up.”
“And how do you propose that?”
Yamashita smiled, and Kamenashi could see the cogs in his head turning. “Just tell me whenever they're together. I'm sure Management would disapprove of Taguchi Junnosuke dating a girl so openly.”
*
“Did you tell Management that I'm dating Ri-chan?”
Kamenashi blinked at Taguchi, the sports section of the newspaper crinkling as his hands fisted involuntarily. “Excuse me?” he repeated.
Taguchi sat down across from him, his eyes serious. “Did you tell Management that I'm dating Ri-chan, Kazuya?”
Yamashita moved fast, Kamenashi thought wryly. “No,” he said calmly. “It must have been somebody else.”
“They said it was you.”
“It wasn't me.”
Taguchi frowned slightly. “I don't see why Management would lie.”
Kamenashi shrugged. “Why would I tell Management about your love life?”
“Because you hate Ri-chan?”
Kamenashi snorted. “I hated Komine too. I didn't tell Management you were screwing her brains out. You're KAT-TUN. Have you forgotten that we protect our own?” He smirked, ignoring the faint twinge of guilt-it would be worth it, in the end, when that chemist was gone and KAT-TUN was breaking records again-and continued, “I didn't think you were like Akanishi. Next thing we know you'll be leaving us for LA with your chemist.”
Taguchi narrowed his eyes, a polite smile etched on his face. “Ri-chan lives in San Diego.”
“My point exactly.” Kame turned back to his newspaper. “I have to look over this again. Recording later.”
“Of course,” Taguchi said, smiling. “Work hard, Kame-chan.”
Kamenashi nodded. “Same to you, Taguchi.”
*
“Management wants pictures.”
Three words.
“Are you sure that it's management who wants them, and not you, Yamashita?” Kamenashi struggled to keep his voice calm.
“They aren't going to give Taguchi a warning unless there's actual evidence.”
“And him being caught with your girlfriend at a train station at night isn't evidence?” Kamenashi hissed, leaning against the door. The edges of his phone dug into his hand, despite its rounded edges. “That visit during new years isn't evidence?”
“Look, do you want Rebecca-chan away from Taguchi or not?”
Kamenashi snorted. “Don't act like you're doing me a favor.”
“Aren't I? Don't you want Taguchi to pay attention to you instead of Rebecca-chan?”
“You make me sound like a love-struck girl,” Kamenashi spat.
“No. I don't think you're the girl in this relationship,” Yamashita said in slow careful Japanese. “I think you're the guy, and KAT-TUN's about ready to break up with you.”
Kamenashi hung up.
*
That night, Kamenashi dreamed again. This time, he was standing in Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a ball clutched in his hand. He felt his arm pull back, felt his weight shift, and waited for the ball to leave his hand and thud into the catcher's mitt.
But there was no catcher, and instead of a steady swish-thud of leather hitting leather, there only a sharp twang as the ball crashed against a chain-link fence, and then he was awake.
*
“Fine.”
One word.
Yamashita would understand.
*
There was something sickening about calling all of his contacts in the tabloids-he didn't have that many, because his manager usually took care of these things for him-and telling them to follow Taguchi around.
And that chemist girl.
“Ri-chan,” Taguchi had called her.
“Rebecca-chan,” Yamashita had called her.
“Rebecca Chung,” Yamada-kun said. “Studying Organic Synthesis in Todai under Kobayashi. It's a one year program, apparently. A bit like an exchange program, except not really. Nobody's entirely certain about the details. A minimal stipend, according to her. From San Diego, UC San Diego. She did her undergraduate degree there. What more do you want to know, Kamenashi-kun?”
“What's her relationship with Taguchi?” Kamenashi demanded.
“Taguchi Junnosuke?” Yamada-kun asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, she's dating him, isn't she?”
Kamenashi laughed, short and bitter.
“Anyways, when are you going to give me my gossip? What's the point of having a guy like you in the entertainment industry if you can't even help out.”
Kamenashi laughed again. This time, he smiled as he said, “Sorry I'm asking you to keep this quiet.”
“It's no problem. So what's the deal with this? Is she not dating Taguchi or something? Because if she isn't, she sure is sending the wrong messages to the guy.”
“She's dating Yamashita.”
“Yamapi Yamashita, like, NEWS Yamashita?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow....” There was a long pause before Yamada-kun added. “Who would think that a nerd like her would get around like that?”
*
“Did you know that your Junno-kun's going to Disneyland with that chemist girl? I got a snapshot of them. You better reimburse me for my Disneyland ticket, by the way. I did not budget for this, Kame-kun.”
Kamenashi frowned at the message on his phone, the picture of Taguchi smiling fondly at Yamashita's girlfriend grainy and pixelated, but clear enough.
He forwarded it to Yamashita with a note of: “This enough for you, Yamashita?”
He didn't get a response. He wasn't expecting one.
*
“So, Kamenashi,” Nishikido drawled as they passed each other. Kamenashi had gotten a drama offer, and he was going with his manager to discuss it. “I hear that you're doing Pi's dirty work for him. What got your knickers in a twist, Taguchi getting some while you weren't?”
It was strangely satisfying to watch Nishikido flinch as his fist slammed into Nishikido's nose. It was like watching a movie, with the pain slowly, absently, spreading across his knuckles and up his arm.
“Fuck! You didn't have to hit that hard, Kamenashi!”
“What do you know?” Kamenashi snapped.
Nishikido rolled his eyes. “What else is there to know? Pi's girl and Taguchi went on a date, you found out and told Yamapi, Yamapi got her to come over, and then Taguchi storms over in a huff and drags her out. What's wrong with your band-mate anyways, Kamenashi?”
“There's nothing wrong with Taguchi.” Kamenashi rolled his eyes. “There's nothing wrong with anybody in KAT-TUN, which is more than I can say for NewS or Kanjani8.”
Nishikido scowled. “If you keep this up, it isn't just going to be Kusano and Uchi leaving groups in disgrace. Fix your band-mates.” He stalked off.
Kamenashi laughed, shortly. “They won't need fixing,” he murmured quietly to the silence. “I won't let KAT-TUN fall apart. Not again.”
*
“Ahh, Kamenashi-kun.” The producer looked at him soberly.
Kamenashi bowed. His manager glared at him from his position behind the producer, where he had been discussing something with the director.
“We think that maybe Taguchi-kun would be a better choice,” the director said politely. “You don't quite bring the same vitality that he did in his audition.”
Kamenashi bowed again. “Thank you for your time,” he said, unfailingly polite.
They bowed back. “Thank you for your time,” they repeated.
His manager glared at him as they walked away. “Why did you have to punch Nishikido in the face? Why couldn't you aim at the shoulder?”
“Taguchi needs more exposure anyways.”
His manager dragged him into an alcove. “Don't make excuses for shoddy behavior, Kamenashi. I understand that you only want what's best for KAT-TUN, but you have a piss-poor way of showing it.”
Kamenashi glared back. “Don't you dare judge me. What have you been doing for KAT-TUN?”
“Don't give me that, Kamenashi.”
“Aren't you supposed to manage us? Make us great? Well, maybe you need to be doing a better job.”
“Don't be a bastard, Kamenashi. It's really hard for me to do my job when you do things like punch Nishikido. Now let's get back to the jimusho. You have a new album to discuss.”
*
Kamenashi was in their discussion room, sprawled out on the couch with an arm over his eyes when he heard the door open and two people walk in. “How was your day off?” Nakamaru asked softly.
“Good,” Taguchi said with a vague smile in his voice. “I went to Disneyland with Ri-chan, but we had to leave early.”
Nakamaru hesitated for a second. “Isn't... Ri-san....”
“Rebecca,” Taguchi said quietly. “Her name is Rebecca.”
“Rebecca-san. Isn't she dating Yamashita?” Kamenashi could see Nakamaru frowning, even though his eyes were closed in feigned sleep on the couch. “Are you sure that spending time with her is a good idea, Junno?”
“Did you know that when Ri-chan smiles, really smiles, not those small twists of her mouth, but wide smiles, her eyes crinkle at the edges and she stops looking sad? We became idols to make girls smile, didn't we? I think I want to see Ri-chan smile more.”
A pause.
“Junno...” Nakamaru began.
And Kamenashi wished that this was a dream.
But it wasn't. Because all of Kamenashi's dreams were of Tokyo Dome, the lights off, a baseball in his hand but a catcher nowhere in sight.
*
“Good luck on your drama, Taguchi-kun.”
Taguchi looked back at Kamenashi, mildly. “Did you set this up?”
Kamenashi smiled back. “I want what's best for you.”
“And that means a drama?”
“Isn't this what we want? For KAT-TUN to make it world-wide? We can't do that unless we get popular. Unless we beat Akanishi.”
Taguchi blinked back at him, and then he smiled. “Thanks, Kazuya.”
*
Sometimes, in his dreams, he would see what looked like a person in the outfield, watching him.
But whenever he turned from his position on the mound, there was just the steady emptiness of a field without a game being played. Just the quiet of the night, the lights off, and the taste of freshly watered grass on the tip of his tongue.
*
“Did you know that Taguchi Junnosuke's visiting his chemist girlfriend again?”
“Again?”
“He's been in her place for a good two hours already, Kame-kun. This is pretty serious. You weren't kidding when you said your Taguchi was obsessed with this girl.”
“He won't be.”
Yamada laughed. “Then you better get on it, shouldn't you?”
“Aren't you supposed to be getting me information?”
“I watched Taguchi Junnosuke enter an apartment where Rebecca Chung lives. I think that this is plenty of information.”
*
On his way to another album meeting, Kamenashi stopped outside the room at the sound of Koyama's voice. It was fond as Koyama said, “Ryo-chan's so much happier these days.”
Kamenashi scowled. Nishikido certainly didn't seem happy last time he saw him.
“That's good. He's been upset for a while, hasn't he?” Nakamaru's voice was amused.
“Well, he's been busy, so it's to be expected, really. He's working on that drama with Taguchi-kun, isn't he?”
“Yeah. Taguchi's been busy because of it.”
“Oh. That's a coincidence, isn't it?”
Nakamaru's voice was confused. “Coincidence?”
“Ah, nothing really. It's just that Ryo-chan and Taguchi-kun are both close to Rebecca-san, aren't they?”
*
“What's up, Kame-kun?”
“Nishikido's spending time with that chemist girl?”
Yamada hesitated over the phone line. “Nishikido Ryo?”
“Yeah. What is with that girl and getting around with all of the company? What is she doing?”
“Kame-kun.”
“What's with her? What's wrong with her? Why can't she stay away from us?”
“Kame.”
“She doesn't belong here, Yamada. She doesn't belong around any of us. Why can't she take her drugs and leave us alone?”
“Kazuya.”
Kamenashi paused. “Yamada?” he asked, tentatively. For a moment, Yamada's voice had sounded like-and it was Yamada on the phone, it had to be, it had been Yamada he had called, not...
Taguchi Junnosuke.
But Taguchi wasn't here. Taguchi was with his precious chemist girl, having dinner. Or a movie. A date. The words were bitter in his mouth, that girl with chemicals on her hands-like blood, waiting to catch Taguchi and rip him away from KAT-TUN.
“Breathe, Kazu-kun. I'll look into it. Don't worry.”
*
That night, Kamenashi's dreams were of the smell of damp dirt. The mound was steady under his feet, the field silent.
He threw a thousand empty pitches to an empty base, watched a hundred invisible strikeouts.
He woke to the steady sound of his alarm reminding him that he only was going to be getting three hours of sleep this night.
*
Yamada mailed him in the afternoon.
“Did you know she's going out with Taguchi tomorrow?”
Kame was in the middle of another meeting with the producers for Going! Sports and News, but when he read the message an hour after it was sent, all he felt was a strange exhaustion.
He called Yamada when he was in a company car going home.
“What are we going to do, Yamada?”
“Nothing.”
His breath caught. “Nothing?” he repeated.
“Nothing.” Yamada laughed a little. “What are you going to do? Warn Taguchi away? That didn't work. And clearly Yamashita can't keep his supposed girlfriend under control.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“I don't know.”
Kamenashi laughed. “Aren't you supposed to? You're in the tabloids, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to know everything?”
There was a long pause, and then Yamada said quietly, “Don't put all your eggs in the same basket, Kame-chan. Isn't that why you went to the Johnny's tryout?”
“I was forced to go to that.”
“Your parents knew best.”
“I didn't choose to stop playing baseball.”
“But you still did, didn't you.”
“Are you upset at me too, Yamada?”
“I would never be upset at you for that, Kazu-kun. I'm not in baseball anymore either, am I.”
“I didn't choose to quit baseball.”
“I never said that you did.”
“I'm not going to let KAT-TUN fail, Yamada. You believe me when I say that, don't you?”
“Yes. Anything for you, Kazu-kun.”
*
There was a long week of no information. Yamada didn't pick up his phone with Kamenashi called him. He didn't respond to Kamenashi's messages. Kamenashi stopped sleeping, unwilling to face an empty field without Yamada.
*
“You look like death,” Taguchi commented as they met to discus their upcoming single. “Are you sleeping?”
Kamenashi stared listlessly at Taguchi, hair cut in anticipation of his drama. “How's... Ri-san?”
“We haven't been seeing as much of each other because we're both so busy, but she's been good! We're going to meet for udon tomorrow.”
“Oh. Have fun.” He smiled, strained and awkward.
Taguchi's phone beeped, and they parted ways. Kamenashi had two more meetings for the day. His manager had to remind him to keep smiling.
*
Midnight. 1 am. 2 am. 3:21 am.
“Kame-kun, did you know that your chemist's friend is seeing Nishikido Ryo?
*
It was easy to slide Taguchi's phone from his bag under the pretense of admiring a new charm that Taguchi had picked up. It was even easier to slide out the door to use the restroom with Taguchi's phone in hand.
Call history was useful for once. Yamashita's chemist picked up after the third ring.
“Jun-kun?”
“Stay away from Taguchi Junnosuke.”
A pause, and then the chemist girl laughed shortly. “Who's talking?”
“Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“I see. Is this like the jealous lover trying to break us up? I would think that'd be Yamashita.”
“So you admit that you're dating Taguchi?”
“I didn't admit anything. Taguchi Junnosuke and I are just friends.”
“Stay away from him. You don't deserve to be around him.”
“That type of attitude probably doesn't make you a lot of fans, Kamenashi Kazuya-kun. Which is just ironic, considering how popular you are.”
“What would you know?”
“Nothing. Of course. Now put Jun-kun's phone back into his bag, you thief.”
*
He did, but not before copying down Ri's phone number. And her email.
He didn't email her though. Not until Yamada mailed him two days later.
“Did you know that Yamashita's cheating on that chemist with the chemist's roommate? What's in the water in that building, some sort of idol attraction pheromone?”
“You don't even know what pheromones are, Yamada.”
“Of course I do. They make guys do stupid things in the name of love.”
*
“What do you think you're doing?” Kamenashi screamed into his phone. “That's her roommate. You're fucking your girlfriend's roommate! You think the tabloids won't be able to get a hold of that sort of information?”
“What?”
“What are you thinking, Yamashita?”
“I think I'm thinking of how the fuck you get your information.” Yamashita's voice was low and furious. “And that you should keep better hours. It's a wonder your neighbors haven't complained, if you're screaming at three in the morning.”
“You're fucking your girlfriend's roommate! Just because you aren't getting any doesn't mean you can afford a cheating scandal.”
“So report me. That's what you want, isn't it? For NEWS to collapse? So KAT-TUN can rise to the top. You drove Jin away, but you aren't satisfied, are you. You want nothing short of yourself at the top of the foodchain, and you're mad that I'm still beating your whole group in sales.”
Kamenashi clutched his phone. “Go fuck yourself. Or your girlfriend's roommate, since cheating seems to be more up your alley.”
*
“I'm not unreasonable, Yamada. I'm not.”
“Of course you aren't.”
“Tell me that this is the right choice.”
“Always do your best. Regardless of what you're doing. Isn't that your life philosophy?”
*
It only took a little bit of flirting to persuade a PA to help Taguchi lose his phone. And only a little bit more effort to persuade the same PA to find it two days after Taguchi's session. And if the PA just happened to find it on the same day of Kamenashi's recording session for their new single, well, that was just a coincidence, wasn't it?
“Coffee tomorrow?” Kamenashi sent. He added a few emoji for good measure.
The response came a good thirty minutes later. “Busy. How about the day after?”
Kamenashi paused, running through his schedule before he agreed. “4 pm.” He attached the address. And if it happened to be the same one he met Yamashita at two and a half weeks ago at 4 am, well, today just happened to be full of coincidences!
*
The evening before, he dreamed of soundless chants in his ears, though nobody was around. He could feel the reverberations from a thousand spectators chanting his name, even though none of them existed.
*
Ri was waiting for him in the coffee shop. She looked nothing like an idol, though she had the exhausted look of too many sleepless nights down. Her hair was tied loosely back with a rubberband, and she was tapping a pencil against her lip as she studied the papers in front of her.
“Yamashita is cheating on you.”
It was supposed to be a bombshell, but Ri merely blinked mildly up at him. “You're in Jun-kun's group, whatever it's called.”
“KAT-TUN,” Kamenashi wanted to say, but he didn't. He waited.
She fiddled with her pencil. “I did tell you to not steal Jun-kun's phone. Though if you messaged me from your own, I probably wouldn't have payed it any attention. Is there any reason you wanted to see me? At this...” She gestured around her. “This place.”
Kamenashi slid into the seat before, slipping his phone from his pocket. “The fact that your boyfriend is cheating on you with your roommate doesn't bother you?” He had prepared for this time. This time he was going to split Ri and Taguchi apart.
“Of course it does,” Rebecca said flatly. “But should I cry in public? Just to give you the satisfaction? This isn't a romance drama.” She set her pencil down on the papers full of reaction mechanisms. “You're Kame-chan.”
“Kamenashi Kazuya,” Kamenashi said curtly.
“Jun-kun calls you Kame-chan,” Rebecca said lazily. “Despite the fact that you don't seem close to him at all, you let him call you by a nickname. How odd, don't you think? You're very interesting, don't you think?”
Kamenashi snorted. “I suppose you think you have all the answers? Should I call you Rebecca-san or Ri-san?”
“You can call me Ri. I doubt your ability to say Rebecca anyways.”
“Does Yamashita know about that tongue of yours? It could give Nishikido's a run for his money.”
Rebecca smiled sweetly. “I prefer being nice to the vast majority of the world.”
“So you're only mean to me.”
Rebecca didn't say anything for a moment. Then she very quietly said, “Does this make you happy?”
Kamenashi leaned back in his seat, watching Rebecca.
“How many times did you follow Yamashita-kun around to get a picture of him with Sen? Did you see everything else? I suppose you took the pictures of me and Jun-kun at the amusement park. Do you not have a life? I thought that you were supposed to be the busy one in Jun-kun's group.”
“Are you done?” Kamenashi stared at her, wondering if she could read Yamada's existence in the corners of his eyes.
“But I can't really blame you,” Rebecca said thoughtfully. “Because we're the same, really. You have to know things. You have to be in control, don't you? It drives you up the wall when Jun-kun ignores you during your meetings.”
Kamenashi narrowed his eyes.
Rebecca smiled lopsidedly at him. “We're exactly the same. I just choose not to mess with people. Why play with people when I can play with something infinitesimally small?”
“Every time I could,” Kamenashi lied, clutching Yamada's existence tightly to him. She would never get her hands on Yamada. “And yes, I did take the pictures of you and Junno. Or I got a fan to follow him.”
“I thought it was strange that nobody seemed to ever catch on to the fact that Yamashita's car was always in Todai's parking lot.”
“I suppose you're going to tell them that I've been spying on them?”
Rebecca laughed a little. She picked up her pencil again, tapping it against the paper. “Of course not. That's up to you to tell. It's your relationship.”
“Just like you won't confront Yamashita.”
Rebecca nodded. “Exactly.”
“You don't like him at all. You like Junno.”
“You're smarter than Yamashita-kun, Kamenashi-san.”
Kamenashi snorted. “Coming from you, I hear that's the highest compliment possible.”
“Yamashita-kun isn't very smart.” Rebecca smiled a little. “Yes, Jun-kun is very nice. Yes, I am far more fond of Jun-kun than Yamashita-kun... but I don't like him. I don't like anything except for my research.”
“That's what Yamahsita-kun said, but I find that hard to believe.”
Rebecca smiled wider. “Of course. It's a lie. But I don't have a boyfriend.”
“Yamashita disagrees.”
“Yamashita-kun has communication problems. I learned from my first relationship never to date somebody with communication problems.”
“So you aren't going to do anything about Yamashita cheating on you.”
Rebecca laughed and leaned forward, her mouth twisting into a slight smile. “I know you won't tell, because if you tell them this, then I'll share your precious secret to the world.” She held up a small mp3 player. “I've been recording this, I'm not stupid at all, and I purchased this mp3 player to record chemistry lectures. Yamashita-kun can't cheat on somebody he's not dating. After all, it's not official unless it's on facebook.”
*
Kame dreamed of Tokyo Dome, the lights burning into his eyes from where he stood on the pitcher's mound.
There was a crowd watching him, roaring in symphony, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Their eyes were focused on him, and he rolled the baseball around his hand, slapping the ball into his mitt.
But when he drew back his arm to throw, he stopped.
There was no batter, and no catcher either. He whirled around, scanning the field, and then turned to stare at the batting cage again.
No one.
The ball slipped from his fingers, but it didn't matter, because there was no batter to steal first, no runner to steal second, third, home.
And he woke up.
*
Taguchi came in to the dance rehearsal with his lips strained into a tight smile. He delivered his puns perfectly on time, and then proceeded to ignore Kamenashi's existence except to say, “Please pass the towels.”
“I did it for us,” Kamenashi hissed to Ueda, who had his headphones on. Ueda stared steadily back at Kamenashi, taking in the movements of his lips but ignoring every word coming out of Kamenashi's mouth. “I did it for KAT-TUN. You understand that, right?”
Ueda shrugged, head bobbing to the music.
“I want to know why they broke up,” Kamenashi whispered. “I want to know what made that frigid bitch decide to stop stringing Taguchi along and let him go. I want to know if it worked.”
Ueda smiled tightly, eyes closed. “This is a good song,” he murmured, pushing one headphone back so he could hear Kamenashi. “Want to know what it's about?”
Kamenashi shrugged.
“A girl. She was murdered, and they never found who killed her. Sad, isn't it?”
“Very.”
*
“I don't think that they're dating anymore, Kame-kun.”
“I don't think so either.” He couldn't forget the look of steady contemplation that Taguchi had given him instead of a smile today. But Taguchi would get over it tomorrow during their second rehearsal. He would. “Thanks, Yamada.”
“No problem. Anything for you, remember? You owe me some juicy gossip though.”
“How about this. Nishikido Ryo's fucking Yun Seira. That chemist's roommate.”
*
It was dark. The rest of KAT-TUN were gone from the dressing room already, and Kamenashi was taking the moment in the quiet to just relax. It was over. Taguchi and that chemist girl of Yamashita's wouldn't be getting together, because she was happy with Yamashita again, and KAT-TUN would be safe. They would be happy.
“Kame-chan,” Taguchi's voice said from the doorway. He stepped in, closing the door behind him.
Kamenashi looked up, a comment of: “Lonely now that your chemist is with Yamashita,” on his lips.
“I forgive you,” Taguchi said.
Kamenashi reeled back a little.
Taguchi stepped forward. “I really did like Ri-chan, you know.”
“Taguchi,” he tried to respond, but the words caught in his throat.
“I forgive you,” Taguchi repeated. “But I can't forget this, Kame-chan.”
Kamenashi struggled with his throat, which suddenly seemed dry with horror when triumph had been right by his fingertips a second ago. “Taguchi,” he began.
“Ri-chan is beautiful,” Taguchi said. “When she talks about chemistry, her face lights up. When she takes care of Sen-chan, her eyes grow fond. When she fights, she tilts her chin up and her eyes narrow. But Ri-chan is beautiful because she lives with everything she can. She gives everything she can to what she believes in.”
There's a pause, and Kamenashi thinks he can hear Taguchi whisper: “Just like you.”
“The difference between Ri-chan and you, Kame-chan, is that Ri-chan never tried to hurt anybody. She wanted people to be happy. She gave herself for what she believed in, and she didn't try to give other people who didn't believe in that same thing. That's what makes Ri-chan beautiful.”
And then Taguchi turned and left.
Kamenashi sat there in the dark, closed his eyes, and began to cry.
End.
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