fic - Johnny's and Associates - Solo Decisions
Title: Solo Decisions
Author: virdant
Length: 1708 words; one-shot
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack fluff.
Pairing: None, just friendship.
Summary: KAT-TUN decides on their solos for their BtR tour.
Warning: None...?
Notes: I'm sure that this isn't how they decide their solo order (because even in Jazz Band with a set list of 4 songs, we would spend 30 minutes just trying to figure out what songs should go next to each other, so I'm pretty sure they have tons of people in upper management figuring this out for them (especially since their set lists are really nicely constructed. Do not take this seriously.
Solo Decisions
Akanishi Jin slunk into the conference room for KAT-TUN’s Dome Tour Planning Meeting No. 3.251, hoping nobody would notice him.
Five heads turned towards him as he opened the door, blinking at him.
“Hey guys,” he began. Taguchi looked back at his DS. The others continued to stare. “Uh....”
“Akanishi, you’re late,” their manager said sternly. “Take a seat. I’ll be right back.”
Jin sat at the table, frowning glumly at the other four.
Four.
“Hey,” he began slowly. “Why’s our manager yelling at me for being late when Kame’s not even here yet?”
Taguchi looked up from his DS and scowled when he instantly died. Koki laughed. Nakamaru frowned. Ueda looked up from the stack of papers in front of him and said, “Kame got here an hour early. He’s next door having a meeting about his solo.”
Jin sighed before slowly smiling. “Hey, guys, so... just hypothetically speaking of course...”
“No,” Ueda interrupted.
“When did you learn the word hypothetically?” Koki added.
Jin ignored them. “Hypothetically speaking, what if the reason I’m late is because I was busy working on my solo?”
Nakamaru sighed. “Jin...” he began.
“Were you working on your solo?” Taguchi asked reasonably as he restarted the game.
Jin stuck his tongue out at Taguchi. “Hypothetically speaking,” he repeated.
“No,” Ueda said sternly. “We have an agreement.” He fixed Jin with a glare. “We only lie to management for you if it involves booze or sex.”
“Or both,” Taguchi added. He closed his DS, grinning at Jin. “Does it?” he mouthed across the table. Jin kicked him.
“Or just girls in general,” Koki whispered loudly to Nakamaru.
Jin glared. “I heard that.” He scowled, before slowly smiling. “So guys, hypothetically speaking, what if my next solo involves a girl?”
Ueda sighed. “Does it involve booze or sex?”
Jin shrugged. “It could?”
Koki laughed. “If you can get your solo to involve a girl and it’s not one of us cross-dressing, I’ll lie to our manager for you.”
*
When Kame wandered back in, trying to balance five paper cups of coffee on a manila folder, Jin was smiling smugly at Koki, who simply scowled back.
Nakamaru whispered, “Jin’s decided that his next solo’s going to involve Crystal Kay.” He eyed the coffee.
Kame raised an eyebrow. “That’s nice; don’t touch the coffee, I have it perfectly balanced right now, if you even breathe on it it’ll probably all spill.” He set the folder and coffee on the table. “Jin was late, wasn’t he?” he asked.
Taguchi nodded, reaching for a cup. “And Koki agreed that if it was for a girl and it wasn’t one of us cross-dressing, he’d do it.”
“Idiot,” Ueda muttered under his breath.
Kame glanced around-their manager was still out-and shrugged. “I hope Koki at least got dinner out of that deal.”
*
Twenty minutes later saw them sitting with their manager around a table, staring into cups of black sludge and contemplating their future.
“Today is Solo day,” Manager-san said. “You have one hour-before Nakamaru goes next door to talk about his solo’s choreography-to decide what order you’re going.”
KAT-TUN glanced at each other. “Is it two blocks?” Kame asked.
He ruffled through a pile of papers. “Two blocks of three,” their manager confirmed.
Koki, Kame, Jin and Ueda all raised their hands at the same time. “I call first.” Taguchi and Nakamaru glanced at each other and shrugged.
Their manager looked at them in amusement. “Well, fight it out among yourselves. I’ll be back in 45 minutes.”
Outside, an intern smiled tentatively at him. “Are you sure this will be alright? It’s KAT-TUN, isn’t it? Don’t they always fight?”
Their manager laughed. “Good point.” He opened the door. “Boys! Same rules as always. Best two out of three, no jewelry allowed, and hands where everybody can see them before you shoot.”
“We know!” Koki shouted and slammed the door.
*
“Alright,” Ueda said. “I’ve drawn out the bracket. Kame and me, Koki and Jin, Maru and Junno. Maru and Junno are seeded, so whoever wins gets to advance to semifinals. No objections?”
KAT-TUN scowled at each other. Solo order was important. Getting to sing first, third, fourth, or sixth meant that you had two very long, very relaxing rest breaks. Nobody wanted to sing second or fifth, because then you barely had a break to change your clothes before you were rushing back on stage, guzzling water all the way.
“No,” Kame said calmly, cracking his knuckles. He grinned at Ueda. Ueda grinned back.
Taguchi smiled to himself, opening up his DS again.
Nakamaru sighed. “Don’t cheat, Jin. Take that ring off your finger.”
Jin scowled, but took off his ring. “Doesn’t make a difference anyways.” He bared his teeth at Koki. “You’re going down.”
Ueda nodded to Nakamaru and Junno. “You two go first. Ready?”
“Yes,” Nakamaru said. “I still think this is a bad idea,” he added.
Junno grinned. “Don’t be a baby, it’ll be fun.” He patted Nakamaru on the shoulder. Let’s go.”
“Stone, paper, scissors!”
*
Manager-san poked his head in the door, smiling when he saw all six members of KAT-TUN sulking at the table; Akanishi poked Ueda childishly with a finger while Taguchi, Tanaka and Kamenashi bent over a DS, discussing the game while Nakamaru watched them all with tired eyes. “Oh good, you lot are done.” He surveyed them all. “No injuries?”
Akanishi rolled his eyes. “No. What are we, juniors?”
What happened to that polite little junior? Their manager sighed. “What’s the order?” He sighed again at the silence; KAT-TUN really needed to man up and pick a leader. Kamenashi did a good job when it came to bossing the others around (and avoiding the resulting punches) and Ueda reluctantly managed paperwork when he could be pulled away from his song lyrics, but it had been at least five years already, and you’d think that they’d manage to designate one of them to deliver the decisions to management. With KAT-TUN, you really had to feed them the questions. “Who’s first?”
Ueda nodded towards Nakamaru. “Nakamaru?” The others turned to look at him with expectant eyes.
Nakamaru bit his lip for a second, studying the tentative song list, before he turned to their manager and said firmly, “Kamenashi.”
Their manager shrugged, and noted down the name, ignoring Kamenashi’s shocked face and Tanaka’s indignant cry of “What? Why Kame?” This or some variation of it happened every time they had a discussion about solo order, and he was used somebody complaining. “Second?”
Tanaka raised his hand reluctantly, scowling.
Well, that explained why Tanaka was complaining; really, KAT-TUN found the most ridiculous things to fight over. He glanced at the others. “Do I have to always prompt you boys?”
“Yes,” Kamenashi said, smug.
Taguchi laughed. “I’m next,” he said cheerfully. “Then it’s Uepi, Nakamaru, and Jin-kun.”
Their manager nodded. “Thank you, Taguchi-kun.” He eyed him thoughtfully. “Are you sure you don’t want to be the leader?”
KAT-TUN, Taguchi included, burst into laughter.
Really, he asked them this question every year, and they still reacted the same way they did when they first formed.
*
“Jerk,” Koki muttered to Nakamaru as he gathered a stack of papers to go talk to management about his solo. “Seriously? You win first solo and you go and give it to Kame?”
“Don’t be a poor loser, Koki,” Nakamaru said placidly.
“You could have given it to me! That’s what you did last time.”
“Then we would have been right after each other. And last year you had fourth solo, which is a completely different matter.” Nakamaru frowned. “Where’s my coffee?”
“I finished it,” Taguchi said cheerfully. “It tasted like shit. We’re out of sweetener by the way.”
“You gave first solo to Kame, who had fifth. How is that a fair trade?”
Nakamaru sighed and reached for the last bottle of water instead. “Anybody want this, or can I have it?” he called.
“I agree with Koki,” Jin called out from where he sat reading a magazine. He narrowed his eyes at Nakamaru before turning back to Kame and sticking his tongue out.
Kame kicked his legs. “You don’t count. You were late to a planning meeting and now you’re trying to get a girl at our concert. Technically, we shouldn’t have let you participate in the contest at all.”
Nakamaru rolled his eyes. “I’m leaving. With the last water. So nobody complain.”
“Technically. But you did let me compete, and now I have last solo,” Jin said smugly. He flexed his fingers in Kame's face. Unlike Kame, who had been eliminated in the first round, he hadn’t gotten eliminated until he fought with Nakamaru for first solo, which landed him with last solo. Again.
Kame snorted before turning to Ueda. “Tat-chan,” he began.
“You can have my meeting time with Management to re-plan your solo now that you’re first,” Ueda said before Kame could finish. “Yes. Go and make it ridiculously long.” He glanced at Koki, still sulking. “It’ll cheer Koki up.” Ueda turned to Nakamaru, still hesitating in the doorway with a bottle of water clutched in his hands. “And aren’t you meeting with them now? Yuichi?”
Kame subsided. “Are you sure?” he asked meekly.
“Ah... right,” Nakmaru muttered, turning and leaving.
Ueda nodded in satisfaction, focusing on his papers again.
Taguchi laughed. “Yes, Kame-chan, Uepi’s sure.” He patted Kame on the shoulder and grinned. “Now don’t slip up on stage!”
Kame scowled at him. “That was a horrible pun.”
“It’s alright,” Koki said seriously. “We'd catch you if you slipped and fell. Or if Ueda fell. Or Nakamaru. Or even Jin.”
Jin snorted and threw an empty coffee cup at Taguchi, who dodged it with a smile. “But we’d let Taguchi fall, for telling all those lame jokes all the time.”
End.
Masterlist of fandoms here
Masterlist of Jpop fanfiction here
Author: virdant
Length: 1708 words; one-shot
Rating: PG
Genre: Crack fluff.
Pairing: None, just friendship.
Summary: KAT-TUN decides on their solos for their BtR tour.
Warning: None...?
Notes: I'm sure that this isn't how they decide their solo order (because even in Jazz Band with a set list of 4 songs, we would spend 30 minutes just trying to figure out what songs should go next to each other, so I'm pretty sure they have tons of people in upper management figuring this out for them (especially since their set lists are really nicely constructed. Do not take this seriously.
Solo Decisions
Akanishi Jin slunk into the conference room for KAT-TUN’s Dome Tour Planning Meeting No. 3.251, hoping nobody would notice him.
Five heads turned towards him as he opened the door, blinking at him.
“Hey guys,” he began. Taguchi looked back at his DS. The others continued to stare. “Uh....”
“Akanishi, you’re late,” their manager said sternly. “Take a seat. I’ll be right back.”
Jin sat at the table, frowning glumly at the other four.
Four.
“Hey,” he began slowly. “Why’s our manager yelling at me for being late when Kame’s not even here yet?”
Taguchi looked up from his DS and scowled when he instantly died. Koki laughed. Nakamaru frowned. Ueda looked up from the stack of papers in front of him and said, “Kame got here an hour early. He’s next door having a meeting about his solo.”
Jin sighed before slowly smiling. “Hey, guys, so... just hypothetically speaking of course...”
“No,” Ueda interrupted.
“When did you learn the word hypothetically?” Koki added.
Jin ignored them. “Hypothetically speaking, what if the reason I’m late is because I was busy working on my solo?”
Nakamaru sighed. “Jin...” he began.
“Were you working on your solo?” Taguchi asked reasonably as he restarted the game.
Jin stuck his tongue out at Taguchi. “Hypothetically speaking,” he repeated.
“No,” Ueda said sternly. “We have an agreement.” He fixed Jin with a glare. “We only lie to management for you if it involves booze or sex.”
“Or both,” Taguchi added. He closed his DS, grinning at Jin. “Does it?” he mouthed across the table. Jin kicked him.
“Or just girls in general,” Koki whispered loudly to Nakamaru.
Jin glared. “I heard that.” He scowled, before slowly smiling. “So guys, hypothetically speaking, what if my next solo involves a girl?”
Ueda sighed. “Does it involve booze or sex?”
Jin shrugged. “It could?”
Koki laughed. “If you can get your solo to involve a girl and it’s not one of us cross-dressing, I’ll lie to our manager for you.”
*
When Kame wandered back in, trying to balance five paper cups of coffee on a manila folder, Jin was smiling smugly at Koki, who simply scowled back.
Nakamaru whispered, “Jin’s decided that his next solo’s going to involve Crystal Kay.” He eyed the coffee.
Kame raised an eyebrow. “That’s nice; don’t touch the coffee, I have it perfectly balanced right now, if you even breathe on it it’ll probably all spill.” He set the folder and coffee on the table. “Jin was late, wasn’t he?” he asked.
Taguchi nodded, reaching for a cup. “And Koki agreed that if it was for a girl and it wasn’t one of us cross-dressing, he’d do it.”
“Idiot,” Ueda muttered under his breath.
Kame glanced around-their manager was still out-and shrugged. “I hope Koki at least got dinner out of that deal.”
*
Twenty minutes later saw them sitting with their manager around a table, staring into cups of black sludge and contemplating their future.
“Today is Solo day,” Manager-san said. “You have one hour-before Nakamaru goes next door to talk about his solo’s choreography-to decide what order you’re going.”
KAT-TUN glanced at each other. “Is it two blocks?” Kame asked.
He ruffled through a pile of papers. “Two blocks of three,” their manager confirmed.
Koki, Kame, Jin and Ueda all raised their hands at the same time. “I call first.” Taguchi and Nakamaru glanced at each other and shrugged.
Their manager looked at them in amusement. “Well, fight it out among yourselves. I’ll be back in 45 minutes.”
Outside, an intern smiled tentatively at him. “Are you sure this will be alright? It’s KAT-TUN, isn’t it? Don’t they always fight?”
Their manager laughed. “Good point.” He opened the door. “Boys! Same rules as always. Best two out of three, no jewelry allowed, and hands where everybody can see them before you shoot.”
“We know!” Koki shouted and slammed the door.
*
“Alright,” Ueda said. “I’ve drawn out the bracket. Kame and me, Koki and Jin, Maru and Junno. Maru and Junno are seeded, so whoever wins gets to advance to semifinals. No objections?”
KAT-TUN scowled at each other. Solo order was important. Getting to sing first, third, fourth, or sixth meant that you had two very long, very relaxing rest breaks. Nobody wanted to sing second or fifth, because then you barely had a break to change your clothes before you were rushing back on stage, guzzling water all the way.
“No,” Kame said calmly, cracking his knuckles. He grinned at Ueda. Ueda grinned back.
Taguchi smiled to himself, opening up his DS again.
Nakamaru sighed. “Don’t cheat, Jin. Take that ring off your finger.”
Jin scowled, but took off his ring. “Doesn’t make a difference anyways.” He bared his teeth at Koki. “You’re going down.”
Ueda nodded to Nakamaru and Junno. “You two go first. Ready?”
“Yes,” Nakamaru said. “I still think this is a bad idea,” he added.
Junno grinned. “Don’t be a baby, it’ll be fun.” He patted Nakamaru on the shoulder. Let’s go.”
“Stone, paper, scissors!”
*
Manager-san poked his head in the door, smiling when he saw all six members of KAT-TUN sulking at the table; Akanishi poked Ueda childishly with a finger while Taguchi, Tanaka and Kamenashi bent over a DS, discussing the game while Nakamaru watched them all with tired eyes. “Oh good, you lot are done.” He surveyed them all. “No injuries?”
Akanishi rolled his eyes. “No. What are we, juniors?”
What happened to that polite little junior? Their manager sighed. “What’s the order?” He sighed again at the silence; KAT-TUN really needed to man up and pick a leader. Kamenashi did a good job when it came to bossing the others around (and avoiding the resulting punches) and Ueda reluctantly managed paperwork when he could be pulled away from his song lyrics, but it had been at least five years already, and you’d think that they’d manage to designate one of them to deliver the decisions to management. With KAT-TUN, you really had to feed them the questions. “Who’s first?”
Ueda nodded towards Nakamaru. “Nakamaru?” The others turned to look at him with expectant eyes.
Nakamaru bit his lip for a second, studying the tentative song list, before he turned to their manager and said firmly, “Kamenashi.”
Their manager shrugged, and noted down the name, ignoring Kamenashi’s shocked face and Tanaka’s indignant cry of “What? Why Kame?” This or some variation of it happened every time they had a discussion about solo order, and he was used somebody complaining. “Second?”
Tanaka raised his hand reluctantly, scowling.
Well, that explained why Tanaka was complaining; really, KAT-TUN found the most ridiculous things to fight over. He glanced at the others. “Do I have to always prompt you boys?”
“Yes,” Kamenashi said, smug.
Taguchi laughed. “I’m next,” he said cheerfully. “Then it’s Uepi, Nakamaru, and Jin-kun.”
Their manager nodded. “Thank you, Taguchi-kun.” He eyed him thoughtfully. “Are you sure you don’t want to be the leader?”
KAT-TUN, Taguchi included, burst into laughter.
Really, he asked them this question every year, and they still reacted the same way they did when they first formed.
*
“Jerk,” Koki muttered to Nakamaru as he gathered a stack of papers to go talk to management about his solo. “Seriously? You win first solo and you go and give it to Kame?”
“Don’t be a poor loser, Koki,” Nakamaru said placidly.
“You could have given it to me! That’s what you did last time.”
“Then we would have been right after each other. And last year you had fourth solo, which is a completely different matter.” Nakamaru frowned. “Where’s my coffee?”
“I finished it,” Taguchi said cheerfully. “It tasted like shit. We’re out of sweetener by the way.”
“You gave first solo to Kame, who had fifth. How is that a fair trade?”
Nakamaru sighed and reached for the last bottle of water instead. “Anybody want this, or can I have it?” he called.
“I agree with Koki,” Jin called out from where he sat reading a magazine. He narrowed his eyes at Nakamaru before turning back to Kame and sticking his tongue out.
Kame kicked his legs. “You don’t count. You were late to a planning meeting and now you’re trying to get a girl at our concert. Technically, we shouldn’t have let you participate in the contest at all.”
Nakamaru rolled his eyes. “I’m leaving. With the last water. So nobody complain.”
“Technically. But you did let me compete, and now I have last solo,” Jin said smugly. He flexed his fingers in Kame's face. Unlike Kame, who had been eliminated in the first round, he hadn’t gotten eliminated until he fought with Nakamaru for first solo, which landed him with last solo. Again.
Kame snorted before turning to Ueda. “Tat-chan,” he began.
“You can have my meeting time with Management to re-plan your solo now that you’re first,” Ueda said before Kame could finish. “Yes. Go and make it ridiculously long.” He glanced at Koki, still sulking. “It’ll cheer Koki up.” Ueda turned to Nakamaru, still hesitating in the doorway with a bottle of water clutched in his hands. “And aren’t you meeting with them now? Yuichi?”
Kame subsided. “Are you sure?” he asked meekly.
“Ah... right,” Nakmaru muttered, turning and leaving.
Ueda nodded in satisfaction, focusing on his papers again.
Taguchi laughed. “Yes, Kame-chan, Uepi’s sure.” He patted Kame on the shoulder and grinned. “Now don’t slip up on stage!”
Kame scowled at him. “That was a horrible pun.”
“It’s alright,” Koki said seriously. “We'd catch you if you slipped and fell. Or if Ueda fell. Or Nakamaru. Or even Jin.”
Jin snorted and threw an empty coffee cup at Taguchi, who dodged it with a smile. “But we’d let Taguchi fall, for telling all those lame jokes all the time.”
End.
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