entry
lj friends, i am terribly sorry for the lack of updates for the past whatever. i actually log on everyday to read my friends page, but never really update myself. so here goes i guess.
daniel and i broke up. it was about a month ago. im ok, really, im fine. i wasnt but i am now. there was no huge upheaval or incident that caused this, it was just a shitload of little things and i was just getting tired of putting forth so much effort into someone who wasnt even willing to send me a damn letter. it been almost a year since he first left, and in that time ive gotten one letter. yup, just one. and how many has he gotten from me, you ask? a lot. A LOT. i was always sending cards, packages, whatever. which is not free for me, but is free for him. hrm. ive gotten 2 packages from him, but one of them was just some of his stuff that he wanted me to hold for him.
oh wait but since i broke up with him ive gotten 2 letters and 2 cards. why does it take for my to break up with him for him to put forth any effort in our relationship? so if we got back together and when he got lazy again and stopped caring or whatever, id have to threaten to break up with him? fuck that. im tired of settling. as much as what i put into that relationship, i deserved much more than what i got.
there is someone else who is willing to put forth the effort. he loves me and did more for me when we were just friends than daniel ever did for me as his girlfriend. those little things, you know? and theres one thing that he has that daniel most definitely does not. emotional maturity. he not a total fucktard when it comes to the way i feel. he knows me so well, and its nice not having to get a billboard put up that says "BY THE WAY, IM ANGRY." its nice not having to do all the work. i can relax, for the first time in over 2 years. i can just plain have fun. im so relieved not to have someone who has to be trained how to be in a relationship. it truly is a great feeling. i feel like a weight has been taken off of me, and now i can live.
daniel and i broke up. it was about a month ago. im ok, really, im fine. i wasnt but i am now. there was no huge upheaval or incident that caused this, it was just a shitload of little things and i was just getting tired of putting forth so much effort into someone who wasnt even willing to send me a damn letter. it been almost a year since he first left, and in that time ive gotten one letter. yup, just one. and how many has he gotten from me, you ask? a lot. A LOT. i was always sending cards, packages, whatever. which is not free for me, but is free for him. hrm. ive gotten 2 packages from him, but one of them was just some of his stuff that he wanted me to hold for him.
oh wait but since i broke up with him ive gotten 2 letters and 2 cards. why does it take for my to break up with him for him to put forth any effort in our relationship? so if we got back together and when he got lazy again and stopped caring or whatever, id have to threaten to break up with him? fuck that. im tired of settling. as much as what i put into that relationship, i deserved much more than what i got.
there is someone else who is willing to put forth the effort. he loves me and did more for me when we were just friends than daniel ever did for me as his girlfriend. those little things, you know? and theres one thing that he has that daniel most definitely does not. emotional maturity. he not a total fucktard when it comes to the way i feel. he knows me so well, and its nice not having to get a billboard put up that says "BY THE WAY, IM ANGRY." its nice not having to do all the work. i can relax, for the first time in over 2 years. i can just plain have fun. im so relieved not to have someone who has to be trained how to be in a relationship. it truly is a great feeling. i feel like a weight has been taken off of me, and now i can live.