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Jul 30, 2012 12:57

I am occasionally not dead. Despite my complete and utter failing as a BM mod. v_v FML, I suck.

Let's see, what's new in my life...

Instead of graduating this winter with my Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing, I think I'm going to graduate next spring instead, with an addition BA in History, so that's kind of exciting but also terrifying. And then, next fall, the plan is to start grad school for Library Science! Holy crap I'm almost an adult, what the fuck.

The reason I was so MIA the beginning of this month was because my brother-in-law and his wife and two daughters were in town from out-of-state, and we hadn't seen them in a year. The newest daughter, Carley, we had never met at all (she's only 6 months old). I am not normally a big fan of babies, they're kinda gross and they generally hate my guts, but Carley decided she liked me, so I held her quite a few times and oh my god she was so cute. I could practically hear my biological clock start ticking at me, for pretty much the first time in my life. I am so not ready for babies, but she made me want to be. ._. It's made worse by the fact that Aaron is totally ready for kids, and has been for years. His parents had him when they were 18, and mine had me when they were in their mid-30s, so we have totally different ideas on when it's a good time to start having munchkins. Add to that the fact that he's three years older than me, and, well... it's a pickle. I think I just need to stay away from cute babies for a while, and hopefully the clock will shut up and go back to sleep.

Segueing from babies to sex... this morning I woke up from a threesome dream that featured my husband and the first guy I ever kissed. Who I haven't seen in four years, and is also gay. WTF, brain. I don't even find him attractive. o_o Though he is very smart, and was the only guy to challenge me intellectually throughout school, which was probably the basis for my enormous crush on him (which started out as virulent hatred, btw XD). I don't even know what's going on with me lately. >_>

As far as fandom goes, I've swung back around into Persona fandom, thanks to my extreme excitement about Persona 4 Arena coming out in like eight days. Also finishing P3:FES The Answer and replaying P3P for the gazillionth time and trying Persona 1 again all had something to do with it as well. XD; I'm guessing that's the reason why I've had absolutely zero motivation to do anything ffland-related, which is not cool. =/ Sort of thinking about giving up my mod positions, especially since school is starting back up at the end of the game...

I've also applied to a brand-new tumblr Persona RP group as Mitsuru, so that should be interesting. Let's hope that I'm less flaky when it comes to RP in a setting that is all canonmates. I just can't wrap my brain around panfandom-RP, I guess. It just feels weird and awkward to me. =/ Oh well, even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll have had a fandom outlet for a while.

rambling, real life

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