Life's ups and downs
Life has had a great number of ups and downs over the last several months. My grandfather passed away on June 11th. It was the first time I have ever lost someone I was close with. I'd get into the trap of thinking of all the things he wouldn't get to see happen (like me getting married, having kids, etc.) and I would just get so sad. Anytime I saw someone that reminded him even remotely of him, I'd start to cry. It took me quite a while to be able to think about him and not get sad.
Life moved on though, as it always does. Joe and I got engaged at the end of August. It was perfect and better than I ever thought it'd be. As cliche as it may sound, I'm so lucky to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. He's truly amazing and I can't wait to start our married life together. Getting engaged has by far been the highlight of this year.
Life got rough again just two and a half weeks after we got engaged when Joe's mom passed away. Word's can't express the hurt and sadness. Everyone at the wake was talking about how much she was looking forward to the wedding and telling everyone about her plans for the shower she and Joe's sister were going to host. The mix of "I'm sorry about your mom passing away" and "congratulations on getting engaged" was almost too much.
Move forward exactly two weeks after Joe's mom passed away (and exactly a year before the date Joe and I had picked to get married), my grandmother passed away. While she was in the hospital, things were looking up and she had moved to rehab. Less than twenty-four hours later, she was gone. Another round of "I'm sorrys" and "congratulations on the engagement" talk.
Life has just become numb. Thinking about things too much leads to hurt that right now I can't process or handle. All of this just feels like it's just too much for me to take. But what other options are there? Life happens, we lose people, we move on, right? I wish it were that simple. I know that I'll get through it, but right now I just wish I could turn everything off.
Life moved on though, as it always does. Joe and I got engaged at the end of August. It was perfect and better than I ever thought it'd be. As cliche as it may sound, I'm so lucky to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. He's truly amazing and I can't wait to start our married life together. Getting engaged has by far been the highlight of this year.
Life got rough again just two and a half weeks after we got engaged when Joe's mom passed away. Word's can't express the hurt and sadness. Everyone at the wake was talking about how much she was looking forward to the wedding and telling everyone about her plans for the shower she and Joe's sister were going to host. The mix of "I'm sorry about your mom passing away" and "congratulations on getting engaged" was almost too much.
Move forward exactly two weeks after Joe's mom passed away (and exactly a year before the date Joe and I had picked to get married), my grandmother passed away. While she was in the hospital, things were looking up and she had moved to rehab. Less than twenty-four hours later, she was gone. Another round of "I'm sorrys" and "congratulations on the engagement" talk.
Life has just become numb. Thinking about things too much leads to hurt that right now I can't process or handle. All of this just feels like it's just too much for me to take. But what other options are there? Life happens, we lose people, we move on, right? I wish it were that simple. I know that I'll get through it, but right now I just wish I could turn everything off.