[vixx] i'll be here (by your side)
Title: i'll be here (by your side)
Fandom: vixx
Pairing: rabin
Rating: g
Word count: 1,800
Summary: when hongbin feels like he is about to fall, he knows wonshik will be there to catch him.
i'll be here (by your side)
The practice room is cold, the winter chill seeping in through the open door. It licks at Hongbin until he can feel it in his bones, freezing him inside out. Yet he dances on, movements strong and breathing paced, the beat of the practice song pounding in his mind. Though the room feels like it is subzero, there is something within him that burns, and it’s that fire that pushes him on, forces him to continue moving his arms and legs, almost systematically. The clock ticks on, seconds turning into minutes before eventually stretching into hours, the hands slowly edging towards the early morning hours. However Hongbin continues, sweat pouring from what feels like every surface of his body. He’s too hot, yet too damn cold at the same time, a fusion of two opposites that results into a feeling that he can’t really identify. He almost misses the knock on the door, but doesn’t. The sound is too loud in the quiet room to go by undetected.
“Hongbin?”
Hongbin turns around quickly, nearly falling over before he catches sight of Wonshik at the door, two energy drinks in hand. He stops from his routine, panting and shirt sticking to his back from sweat. The world suddenly starts spinning, fatigue hitting him like a brick wall, and it takes every ounce of strength within him to stop himself from collapsing. Instead, he musters up a weak smile and runs a hand through greasy hair.
“Hey.”
Wonshik comes in quietly, sneakers barely making a sound against the polished floor of the dance studio. “You’re still here,” he remarks, proffering one of the drinks towards Hongbin. Hongbin takes it gratefully.
“Yeah,” he mutters, unscrewing the lid of the bottle before taking a sip. The cool liquid is welcoming, and he gulps it down quickly, relishing in the way that it seems to clear his mind and give him a new profound energy. It may be fake; energy that will diminish in maybe only a couple of hours, but he needs it.
“Usually it’s Hakyeon hyung or Jaehwan hyung that are out here practising at this time of the night,” Wonshik remarks, eyeing him with what looks suspiciously like concern, “or day if you like.”
Hongbin sees the look often. He sees it when Hakyeon is gently chiding Taekwoon to take it easy during dance practice, fingers massaging soothing circles into injured back; when Jaehwan watches Sanghyuk work his body to the brink of exhaustion. He sees it when Nackhun assists Yoonchun with the latest dance moves, hawk eyes worriedly watching. He doesn’t like it. It makes him feel unable, incapable to the point that the hyungs have to watch him anxiously. The feeling makes him feel incompetent. Weak.
“What? And I can’t?” He snaps back, wrapping both arms around him. It’s cold, and it’s only now that he registers the temperature. The heat from before is slowly diminishing, and it is now that he can feel the numbness of cold spreading through him. He shivers, rubbing at his arms at a futile attempt to try and warm himself as inconspicuously as possible. It doesn’t work because a jacket is thrown at Hongbin’s face promptly, still warm from body heat. He looks at the garment and frowns.
“Wear it,” Wonshik says as he plops down beside Hongbin. He can feel the heat that radiates from the other and it’s welcoming, one way or another. “Trust you to forget a coat on a winter day.”
“Not my fault.” Hongbin replies lamely, but he drapes the jacket over himself nonetheless. Wonshik snorts and scuffs his shoe on the ground in response, resulting in a horrible squeaking resounding through the practice room. Hongbin winces.
A silence descends over them, suffocating like a heavy blanket, tension awkward. Hongbin shuffles slightly, turning his head to peer curiously at the elder. Wonshik is gazing straight ahead, forehead furrowed in a frown, one that Hongbin wishes would disappear soon. It’s odd whenever he sees Wonshik like this, eyebrows bunching up in concentration and a near scowl upon lips. It makes him look so different; nothing like the jubilant, chatty guy that brings light in the times of despair for Hongbin. He nudges Wonshik gently.
“You’re worried.” Hongbin whispers softly. It’s a statement, not a question, and Wonshik nods after a second’s pause. It’s natural now, the gnawing feeling that eats from the inside, and ever since the announcement of the definite debut of six members, that emotion has multiplied tenfold. Even Jaehwan, who manages to joke around before evaluation, has lost the ability to smile when the time comes around. The subconscious thought is always something that nags at the back of his mind, even when he is exhausted after an intense day’s work out. It’s the thought that maybe, one day, good just won’t be enough, and that no matter how hard Hongbin tries, he won’t be at the standard the company wants him to be at. It keeps him up at night, thoughts whirring overtime in his head as he prays for exhaustion to end the incessant voices of doubt.
“You have no reason to be worried,” Hongbin says. His voice comes out bitter, and it leaves a sour aftertaste in his mouth. “You’re destined to be in that new group, unlike me. So is Hakyeon hyung, Taekwoon hyung and-”
“You’re wrong.”
Wonshik’s voice is quiet, but there is something interlaced within his words that makes Hongbin shut up. He looks up, sweeping at his fringe to stare at Wonshik. The elder merely turns his head to regard Hongbin, gaze daring him to retaliate, to talk back. Hongbin opens his mouth, but when he finds he doesn’t have anything to say, he closes it again and resorts to slumping against the wall.
“You’ll make it,” Wonshik continues, and his gaze burns Hongbin. He can almost feel the heat, and he looks away, trying to stop the tears that prickle at his eyes.
“Don’t,” Hongbin mutters. “Don’t make it harder than it already is. If I get my hopes up, it’s just going to hurt all the more when I am the next to be eliminated.” He tries to let out a light-hearted laugh but it comes out more as a choking heave.
“You won’t be though.” Wonshik rebuts. He repositions himself on the floor so that he is facing Hongbin, expression determined. “You’re not going to get out,” he repeats, almost like a mantra, “and I know it.”
Hongbin stares at Wonshik. There is a part of him that wants to shake the elder, force him out of his certainty that
Hongbin is going to make it, stop him from having so much faith in him, because reality is, Hongbin isn’t anything special. He doesn’t have the sweet vocals of Taekwoon or the powerful ones of Jaehwan, the stunning dance skills of Hakyeon and the smooth ones of Sanghyuk, nor the rapping skills of Wonshik. He doesn’t have the unique charm of Yoonchul, nor the experience of Nakhun or the swagger of Byungjoon. Realistically, taking in account of the entertainment’s strict criteria of a perfect idol, he isn’t going to make the cut.
Hongbin doesn’t realise that he is trembling until two warm arms envelop around him and he is pressed flush up against another body. Wonshik holds him as he takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself down and cast away such negative thoughts, though it’s hard. It’s almost like Wonshik is able to sense his despair, because he embraces Hongbin harder, murmuring comforting words in his ear.
“Don’t give up. I trust in you.”
There is that small, hopeful part of him that wants to believe everything Wonshik is saying; believe that in the end, he will be up there on a stage, shining lights and booming music accompanied by the screams of fans. Hongbin closes his eyes as Wonshik starts patting his back softly, and it is then that he realises he wants Wonshik to be there with him. He wants him to be there when they debut, when they win their first award on a music show, when they get their first Triple Crown. He wants Wonshik to be by his side, for them to be together hand in hand, in front of the fans and the lights and the cameras and whatnot. Everything would be okay as long as Wonshik is there, smiling that oh-so-familiar smile, laughter dancing in his eyes.
“You’re going to make it too.” Hongbin says softly, and he feels the other stiffen against him. The moment is short, and soon Wonshik resumes patting his back, chin resting upon Hongbin’s shoulder.
“We’re going to get through it. Together.” Wonshik whispers softly. Hongbin grins at him weakly and reaches for Wonshik’s hand, interlacing their fingers tightly.
“Together.” He echoes.
For the first time in forever, Hongbin falls asleep with no worried voices nattering inside his head. Instead he dreams of music booming through speakers, neon lights that light up the night sky, the smell of sweat and adrenaline and pure happiness thick in the air and the angelic deity that is Wonshik standing beside him. When he wakes up again, he blinks blearily to see the other members shuffling around the dorm sleepily, with the usual scene of Hakyeon ordering Sanghyuk to make him his morning coffee, the younger obediently doing so, albeit a bit grumpily. Through the haze of sleepiness almost blinding his vision, his gaze falls upon Wonshik, rubbing his eyes groggily near the door of the bathroom. The other catches his eye at that exact moment, and despite the tiredness that revolves around him like a miasma, he gives Hongbin a knowing smile. Hongbin returns it, a small one that speaks of so much more, one that tells of stories of trust and determination and everything that is situated in between.
Hongbin takes a deep breath and stares at the calendar besides him on the kitchen table. There’s a red circle around the next elimination date, rouge striking against white, a premonition of another battle soon to come.
Hongbin is not sure if he is the next person destined to fall or not. But as he feels arms wrap around his waist and the familiar laugh that can only be Wonshik’s, he smiles.
They are going to get through this. Together.
author’s note:
- i actually can’t with rabin. i adore their relationship istg they look out for each other so much and it is literally the cutest thing i have ever seen
- set after the elimination of daewon on mydol, i can’t imagine how the other members felt after it. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
- ((chii if you ever read this; i demand you to join the rabin bandwagon asap like now!))
Fandom: vixx
Pairing: rabin
Rating: g
Word count: 1,800
Summary: when hongbin feels like he is about to fall, he knows wonshik will be there to catch him.
i'll be here (by your side)
The practice room is cold, the winter chill seeping in through the open door. It licks at Hongbin until he can feel it in his bones, freezing him inside out. Yet he dances on, movements strong and breathing paced, the beat of the practice song pounding in his mind. Though the room feels like it is subzero, there is something within him that burns, and it’s that fire that pushes him on, forces him to continue moving his arms and legs, almost systematically. The clock ticks on, seconds turning into minutes before eventually stretching into hours, the hands slowly edging towards the early morning hours. However Hongbin continues, sweat pouring from what feels like every surface of his body. He’s too hot, yet too damn cold at the same time, a fusion of two opposites that results into a feeling that he can’t really identify. He almost misses the knock on the door, but doesn’t. The sound is too loud in the quiet room to go by undetected.
“Hongbin?”
Hongbin turns around quickly, nearly falling over before he catches sight of Wonshik at the door, two energy drinks in hand. He stops from his routine, panting and shirt sticking to his back from sweat. The world suddenly starts spinning, fatigue hitting him like a brick wall, and it takes every ounce of strength within him to stop himself from collapsing. Instead, he musters up a weak smile and runs a hand through greasy hair.
“Hey.”
Wonshik comes in quietly, sneakers barely making a sound against the polished floor of the dance studio. “You’re still here,” he remarks, proffering one of the drinks towards Hongbin. Hongbin takes it gratefully.
“Yeah,” he mutters, unscrewing the lid of the bottle before taking a sip. The cool liquid is welcoming, and he gulps it down quickly, relishing in the way that it seems to clear his mind and give him a new profound energy. It may be fake; energy that will diminish in maybe only a couple of hours, but he needs it.
“Usually it’s Hakyeon hyung or Jaehwan hyung that are out here practising at this time of the night,” Wonshik remarks, eyeing him with what looks suspiciously like concern, “or day if you like.”
Hongbin sees the look often. He sees it when Hakyeon is gently chiding Taekwoon to take it easy during dance practice, fingers massaging soothing circles into injured back; when Jaehwan watches Sanghyuk work his body to the brink of exhaustion. He sees it when Nackhun assists Yoonchun with the latest dance moves, hawk eyes worriedly watching. He doesn’t like it. It makes him feel unable, incapable to the point that the hyungs have to watch him anxiously. The feeling makes him feel incompetent. Weak.
“What? And I can’t?” He snaps back, wrapping both arms around him. It’s cold, and it’s only now that he registers the temperature. The heat from before is slowly diminishing, and it is now that he can feel the numbness of cold spreading through him. He shivers, rubbing at his arms at a futile attempt to try and warm himself as inconspicuously as possible. It doesn’t work because a jacket is thrown at Hongbin’s face promptly, still warm from body heat. He looks at the garment and frowns.
“Wear it,” Wonshik says as he plops down beside Hongbin. He can feel the heat that radiates from the other and it’s welcoming, one way or another. “Trust you to forget a coat on a winter day.”
“Not my fault.” Hongbin replies lamely, but he drapes the jacket over himself nonetheless. Wonshik snorts and scuffs his shoe on the ground in response, resulting in a horrible squeaking resounding through the practice room. Hongbin winces.
A silence descends over them, suffocating like a heavy blanket, tension awkward. Hongbin shuffles slightly, turning his head to peer curiously at the elder. Wonshik is gazing straight ahead, forehead furrowed in a frown, one that Hongbin wishes would disappear soon. It’s odd whenever he sees Wonshik like this, eyebrows bunching up in concentration and a near scowl upon lips. It makes him look so different; nothing like the jubilant, chatty guy that brings light in the times of despair for Hongbin. He nudges Wonshik gently.
“You’re worried.” Hongbin whispers softly. It’s a statement, not a question, and Wonshik nods after a second’s pause. It’s natural now, the gnawing feeling that eats from the inside, and ever since the announcement of the definite debut of six members, that emotion has multiplied tenfold. Even Jaehwan, who manages to joke around before evaluation, has lost the ability to smile when the time comes around. The subconscious thought is always something that nags at the back of his mind, even when he is exhausted after an intense day’s work out. It’s the thought that maybe, one day, good just won’t be enough, and that no matter how hard Hongbin tries, he won’t be at the standard the company wants him to be at. It keeps him up at night, thoughts whirring overtime in his head as he prays for exhaustion to end the incessant voices of doubt.
“You have no reason to be worried,” Hongbin says. His voice comes out bitter, and it leaves a sour aftertaste in his mouth. “You’re destined to be in that new group, unlike me. So is Hakyeon hyung, Taekwoon hyung and-”
“You’re wrong.”
Wonshik’s voice is quiet, but there is something interlaced within his words that makes Hongbin shut up. He looks up, sweeping at his fringe to stare at Wonshik. The elder merely turns his head to regard Hongbin, gaze daring him to retaliate, to talk back. Hongbin opens his mouth, but when he finds he doesn’t have anything to say, he closes it again and resorts to slumping against the wall.
“You’ll make it,” Wonshik continues, and his gaze burns Hongbin. He can almost feel the heat, and he looks away, trying to stop the tears that prickle at his eyes.
“Don’t,” Hongbin mutters. “Don’t make it harder than it already is. If I get my hopes up, it’s just going to hurt all the more when I am the next to be eliminated.” He tries to let out a light-hearted laugh but it comes out more as a choking heave.
“You won’t be though.” Wonshik rebuts. He repositions himself on the floor so that he is facing Hongbin, expression determined. “You’re not going to get out,” he repeats, almost like a mantra, “and I know it.”
Hongbin stares at Wonshik. There is a part of him that wants to shake the elder, force him out of his certainty that
Hongbin is going to make it, stop him from having so much faith in him, because reality is, Hongbin isn’t anything special. He doesn’t have the sweet vocals of Taekwoon or the powerful ones of Jaehwan, the stunning dance skills of Hakyeon and the smooth ones of Sanghyuk, nor the rapping skills of Wonshik. He doesn’t have the unique charm of Yoonchul, nor the experience of Nakhun or the swagger of Byungjoon. Realistically, taking in account of the entertainment’s strict criteria of a perfect idol, he isn’t going to make the cut.
Hongbin doesn’t realise that he is trembling until two warm arms envelop around him and he is pressed flush up against another body. Wonshik holds him as he takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself down and cast away such negative thoughts, though it’s hard. It’s almost like Wonshik is able to sense his despair, because he embraces Hongbin harder, murmuring comforting words in his ear.
“Don’t give up. I trust in you.”
There is that small, hopeful part of him that wants to believe everything Wonshik is saying; believe that in the end, he will be up there on a stage, shining lights and booming music accompanied by the screams of fans. Hongbin closes his eyes as Wonshik starts patting his back softly, and it is then that he realises he wants Wonshik to be there with him. He wants him to be there when they debut, when they win their first award on a music show, when they get their first Triple Crown. He wants Wonshik to be by his side, for them to be together hand in hand, in front of the fans and the lights and the cameras and whatnot. Everything would be okay as long as Wonshik is there, smiling that oh-so-familiar smile, laughter dancing in his eyes.
“You’re going to make it too.” Hongbin says softly, and he feels the other stiffen against him. The moment is short, and soon Wonshik resumes patting his back, chin resting upon Hongbin’s shoulder.
“We’re going to get through it. Together.” Wonshik whispers softly. Hongbin grins at him weakly and reaches for Wonshik’s hand, interlacing their fingers tightly.
“Together.” He echoes.
For the first time in forever, Hongbin falls asleep with no worried voices nattering inside his head. Instead he dreams of music booming through speakers, neon lights that light up the night sky, the smell of sweat and adrenaline and pure happiness thick in the air and the angelic deity that is Wonshik standing beside him. When he wakes up again, he blinks blearily to see the other members shuffling around the dorm sleepily, with the usual scene of Hakyeon ordering Sanghyuk to make him his morning coffee, the younger obediently doing so, albeit a bit grumpily. Through the haze of sleepiness almost blinding his vision, his gaze falls upon Wonshik, rubbing his eyes groggily near the door of the bathroom. The other catches his eye at that exact moment, and despite the tiredness that revolves around him like a miasma, he gives Hongbin a knowing smile. Hongbin returns it, a small one that speaks of so much more, one that tells of stories of trust and determination and everything that is situated in between.
Hongbin takes a deep breath and stares at the calendar besides him on the kitchen table. There’s a red circle around the next elimination date, rouge striking against white, a premonition of another battle soon to come.
Hongbin is not sure if he is the next person destined to fall or not. But as he feels arms wrap around his waist and the familiar laugh that can only be Wonshik’s, he smiles.
They are going to get through this. Together.
author’s note:
- i actually can’t with rabin. i adore their relationship istg they look out for each other so much and it is literally the cutest thing i have ever seen
- set after the elimination of daewon on mydol, i can’t imagine how the other members felt after it. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
- ((chii if you ever read this; i demand you to join the rabin bandwagon asap like now!))