Will it be easy to need you?
Today was my day off and I thought it was going to be this fantastic day. I was going to go shopping, spend money I don't have, and all would be well.
I got up early today but I just had such a hard time getting motivated. I had to burn 8 cds for my grief class tonight as it was our last class and we were to share something that helped us get through our pain, as well as do a candle lighting ceremony. So I burnt 8 cds with various songs of Casey from latitudeline and caseystratton.com and it took up a good bit of time.
We also were having a potluck so I stopped at the store and bought whoopie pies, pumpkin roll, fresh fruit and cream cheese dip. There ended up being a lot of food and I feel like I pigged out even though it wasn't *that* bad. Still, bad Jenny! I feel kinda crappy about that. Anyway, it was a really nice last class. I played "Wild Soul" and they were into it! I also shared some pictures and told the story of how Casey has helped me and changed my life. My voice was shaky but I held it together. Until the song started playing. I was a little surprised that I cried because I've been doing so well. But I think that crying like that doesn't mean I'm *not* doing well. The pain is definitely lessened. I can remember- and cry- but it's different. And then everyone else got up and did their thing. So it was extremely emotionally draining, coupled with the fact that it was the end of the course. I really enjoyed going there every week, and it has helped so much. We made plans to get together in 6 months for a reunion and I thought...wow...6 months from now will be April/May. It's hard for me to imagine that! The passing of time still is a bit of an enigma. And then I thought..wow..in 6 months..when they see me, I will be noticibly different. I hope! No..I know :) That's hard to imagine, too. So, all that emotion has just left me feeling all..well...facockta! Thank god I go back to work tomorrow. Back to routine!
I think what I really need is to have my hands on DIVIDE. Now that Terry has it I'm impatient. Before I could wait with little difficulty. I am positively green with jealousy!
I was thinking maybe it would be kind of neat to put cd reviews of DIVIDE up on ASI. I realize there are a lot of places you can do that- cdbaby being one, and it's important to do so. But I think I would like to open it up to anyone who'd like it posted on a section for A Shift Inside. However, if there's no interest I'm not going to pursue it. Therefore, if *you* are reading this and feel this is something you would like to participate in, leave a comment.
I got up early today but I just had such a hard time getting motivated. I had to burn 8 cds for my grief class tonight as it was our last class and we were to share something that helped us get through our pain, as well as do a candle lighting ceremony. So I burnt 8 cds with various songs of Casey from latitudeline and caseystratton.com and it took up a good bit of time.
We also were having a potluck so I stopped at the store and bought whoopie pies, pumpkin roll, fresh fruit and cream cheese dip. There ended up being a lot of food and I feel like I pigged out even though it wasn't *that* bad. Still, bad Jenny! I feel kinda crappy about that. Anyway, it was a really nice last class. I played "Wild Soul" and they were into it! I also shared some pictures and told the story of how Casey has helped me and changed my life. My voice was shaky but I held it together. Until the song started playing. I was a little surprised that I cried because I've been doing so well. But I think that crying like that doesn't mean I'm *not* doing well. The pain is definitely lessened. I can remember- and cry- but it's different. And then everyone else got up and did their thing. So it was extremely emotionally draining, coupled with the fact that it was the end of the course. I really enjoyed going there every week, and it has helped so much. We made plans to get together in 6 months for a reunion and I thought...wow...6 months from now will be April/May. It's hard for me to imagine that! The passing of time still is a bit of an enigma. And then I thought..wow..in 6 months..when they see me, I will be noticibly different. I hope! No..I know :) That's hard to imagine, too. So, all that emotion has just left me feeling all..well...facockta! Thank god I go back to work tomorrow. Back to routine!
I think what I really need is to have my hands on DIVIDE. Now that Terry has it I'm impatient. Before I could wait with little difficulty. I am positively green with jealousy!
I was thinking maybe it would be kind of neat to put cd reviews of DIVIDE up on ASI. I realize there are a lot of places you can do that- cdbaby being one, and it's important to do so. But I think I would like to open it up to anyone who'd like it posted on a section for A Shift Inside. However, if there's no interest I'm not going to pursue it. Therefore, if *you* are reading this and feel this is something you would like to participate in, leave a comment.