In Venere Veritas (3/4)
Title: In Venere Veritas (3/4)
Author: violetskies17
Rating: PG
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this piece are the properties of their respected owners. This work is for non-profit use and entertainment.
Summary: Arizona finds a way to heal after her break-up with Callie.
Author's Note: Song referenced is Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica ft. Brent Smith.
Arizona’s POV
I’m not strong enough to stay away.
Can't run from you,
I just run back to you.
Like a moth I’m drawn into your flame,
Say my name, but it's not the same.
You look in my eyes, I’m stripped of my pride,
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to its knees.
The minor chords fill the darkened, empty space. I sit, exhausted, in my usual spot in front of my piano. My fingers glide across the smooth keys as the familiar words tumble from my lips, as if they’ve been fighting to escape all day.
I’m such an idiot! I knew the moment that I stepped onto that elevator and saw her standing there that something regrettable was going to happen. I hadn’t counted on her saying anything. I just faced forward and tried desperately to control my breathing. We hadn’t really seen each other much over the past few weeks, but, in all honesty, nothing had changed. Love doesn’t disappear overnight.
I just stood there in agony, willing the wretched box to move faster, cursing its taunting pace. Unexpectedly, my thoughts were interrupted by a gentle plea. It was quiet, almost a whisper, as my name suddenly rolled off of her beautiful lips.
“Arizona.”
My impulses didn’t allow her to finish. I whipped around, my lips crashing into hers, and we found ourselves pressed up tightly against the back wall of the elevator. I don’t know how long we remained in our own world like that. I just remember pulling back for lack of air, otherwise, I would have held onto that kiss for as long as possible. I gazed into the deep, chocolate brown orbs, the whole time screaming in my head to stop before I would truly regret my actions. I somehow found the strength to wrench myself from that lingering moment, and I escaped onto the next floor that wasn’t even mine. I just knew I had to leave at that moment, or else I wouldn’t have had the courage.
Now here I sit. I sped away from the hospital as fast as my car could move. I didn’t even hesitate when I reached my apartment door. I threw it open, tossed my possessions to the floor, and practically ran to my piano. As always, I grazed my fingers across the smooth ivory before absorbing myself within a melody I’d only recently mastered.
And it's killing me when you're away,
I want to leave and I want to stay
And I’m so confused, so hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind,
And I’m not strong enough to stay away.
My mind is reeling. I don’t even have the strength to justify what I’ve done. I’ve worked so hard to move on and put some distance between myself and my feelings for Calliope, and now I’ve shot it all to hell in fifteen seconds. Fifteen mind-blowing seconds.
I try to hush my thoughts as I concentrate on the notes seeping out from the large instrument before me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I love her and want to be with her so badly, it pains me. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, but when I catch a glimpse of her in the hallways at work, or sneak into the gallery when she’s in the OR, I just want to say to hell with my pride. Her very presence is intoxicating.
I bring my busy mind back to the task in front of me. I haven’t fully memorized the entire song, so I still need to glance at the sheet music from time to time. All the same, I let the minor melody fill the space around me as I feel my voice reverberate throughout my chest.
I'm not strong enough to stay away.
What can I do,
I would die without you.
In your presence, my heart knows no shame.
I’m not to blame,
‘Cause you bring my heart to its knees.
This is insane. What is the matter with me? I should be stronger than this, but, for some reason, this break up is kicking my ass. I suppose I’m not looking at the whole picture. It’s not as if Calliope and I don’t love each other anymore. It was merely a conflict of interests. Well, really only one interest. A big one. All the same, we’re still in love.
I suppose all I can do at this point is wait it out, though, I’m not quite sure it will ever pass. Calliope and I are made for each other. And even if we never find our way back, she is always going to own a piece of me. I have pity for the woman that comes after her, should there be one, because there’s no way she can measure up to all I had before. Who am I kidding? Calliope doesn’t own a piece of me, she owns everything. She always will.
There's nothing I can do.
My heart is chained to you,
And I can't get free…
Look what this love’s done to me.
And it's killing me when you're away,
I want to leave and I want to stay
And I’m so confused, so hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind,
And I’m not strong enough to stay away.
Not strong enough, strong enough
To stay away…
Not strong enough, strong enough
And I’m not strong enough to stay away…
Silence takes over the room and I sit for a moment, deep in thought. The glow of the city cascades through the window, softly illuminating my features. I rub my suddenly sleepy eyes, walk over to the glass, and look down upon the damp streets before dropping the blinds. I shed my clothing, as I slowly drag myself towards the bedroom. After pulling on an oversized t-shirt, I sink down into the mattress. I allow myself one last remembrance of that moment in the elevator before closing my weary eyes. I feel the waves of the storm crash down upon me as I hang on for dear life, just fighting to stay afloat.
Author: violetskies17
Rating: PG
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this piece are the properties of their respected owners. This work is for non-profit use and entertainment.
Summary: Arizona finds a way to heal after her break-up with Callie.
Author's Note: Song referenced is Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica ft. Brent Smith.
Arizona’s POV
I’m not strong enough to stay away.
Can't run from you,
I just run back to you.
Like a moth I’m drawn into your flame,
Say my name, but it's not the same.
You look in my eyes, I’m stripped of my pride,
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to its knees.
The minor chords fill the darkened, empty space. I sit, exhausted, in my usual spot in front of my piano. My fingers glide across the smooth keys as the familiar words tumble from my lips, as if they’ve been fighting to escape all day.
I’m such an idiot! I knew the moment that I stepped onto that elevator and saw her standing there that something regrettable was going to happen. I hadn’t counted on her saying anything. I just faced forward and tried desperately to control my breathing. We hadn’t really seen each other much over the past few weeks, but, in all honesty, nothing had changed. Love doesn’t disappear overnight.
I just stood there in agony, willing the wretched box to move faster, cursing its taunting pace. Unexpectedly, my thoughts were interrupted by a gentle plea. It was quiet, almost a whisper, as my name suddenly rolled off of her beautiful lips.
“Arizona.”
My impulses didn’t allow her to finish. I whipped around, my lips crashing into hers, and we found ourselves pressed up tightly against the back wall of the elevator. I don’t know how long we remained in our own world like that. I just remember pulling back for lack of air, otherwise, I would have held onto that kiss for as long as possible. I gazed into the deep, chocolate brown orbs, the whole time screaming in my head to stop before I would truly regret my actions. I somehow found the strength to wrench myself from that lingering moment, and I escaped onto the next floor that wasn’t even mine. I just knew I had to leave at that moment, or else I wouldn’t have had the courage.
Now here I sit. I sped away from the hospital as fast as my car could move. I didn’t even hesitate when I reached my apartment door. I threw it open, tossed my possessions to the floor, and practically ran to my piano. As always, I grazed my fingers across the smooth ivory before absorbing myself within a melody I’d only recently mastered.
And it's killing me when you're away,
I want to leave and I want to stay
And I’m so confused, so hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind,
And I’m not strong enough to stay away.
My mind is reeling. I don’t even have the strength to justify what I’ve done. I’ve worked so hard to move on and put some distance between myself and my feelings for Calliope, and now I’ve shot it all to hell in fifteen seconds. Fifteen mind-blowing seconds.
I try to hush my thoughts as I concentrate on the notes seeping out from the large instrument before me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I love her and want to be with her so badly, it pains me. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us, but when I catch a glimpse of her in the hallways at work, or sneak into the gallery when she’s in the OR, I just want to say to hell with my pride. Her very presence is intoxicating.
I bring my busy mind back to the task in front of me. I haven’t fully memorized the entire song, so I still need to glance at the sheet music from time to time. All the same, I let the minor melody fill the space around me as I feel my voice reverberate throughout my chest.
I'm not strong enough to stay away.
What can I do,
I would die without you.
In your presence, my heart knows no shame.
I’m not to blame,
‘Cause you bring my heart to its knees.
This is insane. What is the matter with me? I should be stronger than this, but, for some reason, this break up is kicking my ass. I suppose I’m not looking at the whole picture. It’s not as if Calliope and I don’t love each other anymore. It was merely a conflict of interests. Well, really only one interest. A big one. All the same, we’re still in love.
I suppose all I can do at this point is wait it out, though, I’m not quite sure it will ever pass. Calliope and I are made for each other. And even if we never find our way back, she is always going to own a piece of me. I have pity for the woman that comes after her, should there be one, because there’s no way she can measure up to all I had before. Who am I kidding? Calliope doesn’t own a piece of me, she owns everything. She always will.
There's nothing I can do.
My heart is chained to you,
And I can't get free…
Look what this love’s done to me.
And it's killing me when you're away,
I want to leave and I want to stay
And I’m so confused, so hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.
Even if I try to win the fight,
My heart would overrule my mind,
And I’m not strong enough to stay away.
Not strong enough, strong enough
To stay away…
Not strong enough, strong enough
And I’m not strong enough to stay away…
Silence takes over the room and I sit for a moment, deep in thought. The glow of the city cascades through the window, softly illuminating my features. I rub my suddenly sleepy eyes, walk over to the glass, and look down upon the damp streets before dropping the blinds. I shed my clothing, as I slowly drag myself towards the bedroom. After pulling on an oversized t-shirt, I sink down into the mattress. I allow myself one last remembrance of that moment in the elevator before closing my weary eyes. I feel the waves of the storm crash down upon me as I hang on for dear life, just fighting to stay afloat.