This week has been hard
This weekend has been one of the hardest weekends I have had for a while. So much has happend and once again I am revaluating my life and the worth of humanity.
On Wensday I was preparing for my first day of work for Thursday. I made a trip to Fed-X Kinkos so that I could get a copy machien copy of my SS and Drivers License. Then I headed to Stacy and Joshes so that I could thumb through some articles of clothing Stacy pulled aside for me to wear my first day as an assistant manager at Clairs. I at 7:30 I headed home cus eric had work soon and needed the care back around 8ish. When I got to my door... Posted for all the world to thumb through and view was a lawsuite notice for my boyfriend, his mother and myself. Because I haven't been able to find a steady job Eric has been paying bills solo lately and he had gotten slighting behind on everything. Earlyer that week we lost the internet and cable because we could no longer aford it and it is only through the effords of a few good people that we have supper on our table as of late. Well although 3 days prior to the lawsuite Eric paid the apartment building 1,100 dollars they are threatening to take us to court and remove us of our home. At the time we had found out that news Eric had a half an hour before he had to go to work.. and I was hysterical I finally got this great job that would double our house's income only to loss my home. I couldn't sleep. I ended up visiting with Stacy and Josh for a while while we watched Dinosaurs.. ya know "not the mama" at their house. The next day Eric went down to the apartment people to talk to them about what happend to his check that he paid them, I dropped him off on the way to my job to spend 6 hard hourse playing the game of "nothing is going wrong in my life." When i got home eric was laying on the couch and I prompted him. He said that they "lost" the checks ( he had given them two checks for 500 each) and if we did a cashiers check before the court date for the full amount including fileing and lawyer fees which is a whopping 1,378 dollars altogether, than they would drop the charges but never told us weither of not we would still get to keep our home or not. This seemed to lull eric into a sense of security a little but I'm still slighting flipping out about it being that we have no word on weither or not we are going to have a home come August. Eric thinks he may be able to
make up the difference before court date due to the bonus he will be hopefully recieving next week. Well friday night eric left for work.. I spent another restless night he gets home and hes white as a sheet. His Grandma, Lois Ada Wallin, has just had a serious stroke.. and its bad.. really bad but we didn't think at the time so bad that it might kill her cus as far as we knew she was conscience just didn't reconise anyone. So I headed to work and played the game again.... nothings bothering me ... everything is happy great and dandy. But nothing was happy, great nore dandy, when I got home Erics mom had called while he had taken a nap. He called her back. His grandma had fallen Un-consciece and with further examination found out that she had blood on the brain and it was un-operatable. We rushed to Ohio, she had been put in the ICU on Life Support and it was just a matter of waiting for family before they removed her of Life Support. I held her hand. I Loved this woman too, she was one of the first to welcome me into the Wallin family as a future Wallin. We raced against time and got frustrated constantly because of bad directions we got lost oftian as we struggled to get there before she left this earth. When we did get there we where informed that Eric's Dad, Uncle, sister and brother where still 6 hours away in michigan where they had been back-packing deep in the woods for 4 days when they recieved the news by park ranger. Eric's Uncle Harry was already in Ohio, but he was catching up on his sleep from the quick "flight" he took from his house. (everyone pretty much just stopped what they where doing and drove home eric and I included which would explain me still wearing the same work pants I have on now. Thank god that I hadn't emptied erics car out yet from last visit or we wouldn't even have a small amount of clothes to change into.) She looked so different, broken. In life she was a very spirited woman who spoke her mind, she had been a naturalist and the first time I met her I had angered her to the point she was ready to smake me with her cane cus first I "invaded" her kitchen while she was cooking, and then I told her my favorite flowers where roses and she informed me they are a horrible invasive species.. a weed in her mind devistating our forests and causing quite a few of our forest plants to become close to extinction. I couldn't help but grin cus she had sounded like my uncle george and one of his "talks" at the time. but after we got to know eachother I found his grandma my greatest allie and seeing her now, I didn't even reconise the noble woman laying on the bed it didn't even look like her. The next 6 hours where heart breaking, Erics little sister calling us constantly to make sure her grandma was waiting for her. The hardest part was when they got here. Listening to heather I was reminded of myself when my little sister died. she was trying to convince herself and grandma that everything would be fine and shed get up and walk away from this when we all knew that this was not the case. At 12am they pulled Life Support with us all in the room, my head turned into erics shoulder cus I couldn't watch. And amazingly she fought death for almost 2 hours before it claimed her, during the time when it finally did it was my turn to hold her hand I had been holding it and she started gagging and threw up her body jerked while Eric took me away from her cus I kinda wimpered and my eyes where wide and tears where running down my face but I guess I was in shock. After she jerked like that we watched her videls go down and I couldn't help but to compare this to a sidistic version of new years where we where counting down the seconds to Lois's life her family held hands around her we where all encouraging her that she could let go and we would be alright heather cried and told her something that will probly stick in my mind for quite a while, "now you can fly with the birds you loved so much." then at 1:41 am Lois took her last breath and she was gone.
We went to her house yesterday to make arangments for her cremation and memorial survice and to view her will and decide how to split the estate her "boyfriend" kept comparing this to his "wifes death" and he was angring a lot of people slightly with how he pushed desitions in his favor instead of letting the family deside together as a family Heather Eric's little sister was probly hurt and angered the most at the aspect of loosing the house (due to memories, the fact she grew up there a little, and also from a naturalist point of view her grandma had a lot of rare trees, some of them about to go extinct, that once covered the state of Ohio.) She was also angred cus her grandma had been an acomplished clarenet player and she also was becoming semi acomplished due to the encouragement from Lois. Max was telling heather that she couldn't play a solo in tribute to her grandma during the memorial survise and heather got really angry, its her grandma and he is just the boyfriend. Eric and I kinda fought on the side lines and talked to the brothers and we got heather her solo despite how Max tried to detour that.
Dinner at grandmas was surprisingly not to hard, we talked like a family would as if she where there some how it almost felt like she was present at the time. The house felt sad though when we left, I remember staring at it and thinking... it may be the last time I see it.
Today Eric and I are going to take Inky for a walk in my favorite national park here in ohio. Then we are heading home.. both of us can't help but dread the thought of going home right now.. we both fear finding something new posted on our apartment door it makes us nervous.
On Wensday I was preparing for my first day of work for Thursday. I made a trip to Fed-X Kinkos so that I could get a copy machien copy of my SS and Drivers License. Then I headed to Stacy and Joshes so that I could thumb through some articles of clothing Stacy pulled aside for me to wear my first day as an assistant manager at Clairs. I at 7:30 I headed home cus eric had work soon and needed the care back around 8ish. When I got to my door... Posted for all the world to thumb through and view was a lawsuite notice for my boyfriend, his mother and myself. Because I haven't been able to find a steady job Eric has been paying bills solo lately and he had gotten slighting behind on everything. Earlyer that week we lost the internet and cable because we could no longer aford it and it is only through the effords of a few good people that we have supper on our table as of late. Well although 3 days prior to the lawsuite Eric paid the apartment building 1,100 dollars they are threatening to take us to court and remove us of our home. At the time we had found out that news Eric had a half an hour before he had to go to work.. and I was hysterical I finally got this great job that would double our house's income only to loss my home. I couldn't sleep. I ended up visiting with Stacy and Josh for a while while we watched Dinosaurs.. ya know "not the mama" at their house. The next day Eric went down to the apartment people to talk to them about what happend to his check that he paid them, I dropped him off on the way to my job to spend 6 hard hourse playing the game of "nothing is going wrong in my life." When i got home eric was laying on the couch and I prompted him. He said that they "lost" the checks ( he had given them two checks for 500 each) and if we did a cashiers check before the court date for the full amount including fileing and lawyer fees which is a whopping 1,378 dollars altogether, than they would drop the charges but never told us weither of not we would still get to keep our home or not. This seemed to lull eric into a sense of security a little but I'm still slighting flipping out about it being that we have no word on weither or not we are going to have a home come August. Eric thinks he may be able to
make up the difference before court date due to the bonus he will be hopefully recieving next week. Well friday night eric left for work.. I spent another restless night he gets home and hes white as a sheet. His Grandma, Lois Ada Wallin, has just had a serious stroke.. and its bad.. really bad but we didn't think at the time so bad that it might kill her cus as far as we knew she was conscience just didn't reconise anyone. So I headed to work and played the game again.... nothings bothering me ... everything is happy great and dandy. But nothing was happy, great nore dandy, when I got home Erics mom had called while he had taken a nap. He called her back. His grandma had fallen Un-consciece and with further examination found out that she had blood on the brain and it was un-operatable. We rushed to Ohio, she had been put in the ICU on Life Support and it was just a matter of waiting for family before they removed her of Life Support. I held her hand. I Loved this woman too, she was one of the first to welcome me into the Wallin family as a future Wallin. We raced against time and got frustrated constantly because of bad directions we got lost oftian as we struggled to get there before she left this earth. When we did get there we where informed that Eric's Dad, Uncle, sister and brother where still 6 hours away in michigan where they had been back-packing deep in the woods for 4 days when they recieved the news by park ranger. Eric's Uncle Harry was already in Ohio, but he was catching up on his sleep from the quick "flight" he took from his house. (everyone pretty much just stopped what they where doing and drove home eric and I included which would explain me still wearing the same work pants I have on now. Thank god that I hadn't emptied erics car out yet from last visit or we wouldn't even have a small amount of clothes to change into.) She looked so different, broken. In life she was a very spirited woman who spoke her mind, she had been a naturalist and the first time I met her I had angered her to the point she was ready to smake me with her cane cus first I "invaded" her kitchen while she was cooking, and then I told her my favorite flowers where roses and she informed me they are a horrible invasive species.. a weed in her mind devistating our forests and causing quite a few of our forest plants to become close to extinction. I couldn't help but grin cus she had sounded like my uncle george and one of his "talks" at the time. but after we got to know eachother I found his grandma my greatest allie and seeing her now, I didn't even reconise the noble woman laying on the bed it didn't even look like her. The next 6 hours where heart breaking, Erics little sister calling us constantly to make sure her grandma was waiting for her. The hardest part was when they got here. Listening to heather I was reminded of myself when my little sister died. she was trying to convince herself and grandma that everything would be fine and shed get up and walk away from this when we all knew that this was not the case. At 12am they pulled Life Support with us all in the room, my head turned into erics shoulder cus I couldn't watch. And amazingly she fought death for almost 2 hours before it claimed her, during the time when it finally did it was my turn to hold her hand I had been holding it and she started gagging and threw up her body jerked while Eric took me away from her cus I kinda wimpered and my eyes where wide and tears where running down my face but I guess I was in shock. After she jerked like that we watched her videls go down and I couldn't help but to compare this to a sidistic version of new years where we where counting down the seconds to Lois's life her family held hands around her we where all encouraging her that she could let go and we would be alright heather cried and told her something that will probly stick in my mind for quite a while, "now you can fly with the birds you loved so much." then at 1:41 am Lois took her last breath and she was gone.
We went to her house yesterday to make arangments for her cremation and memorial survice and to view her will and decide how to split the estate her "boyfriend" kept comparing this to his "wifes death" and he was angring a lot of people slightly with how he pushed desitions in his favor instead of letting the family deside together as a family Heather Eric's little sister was probly hurt and angered the most at the aspect of loosing the house (due to memories, the fact she grew up there a little, and also from a naturalist point of view her grandma had a lot of rare trees, some of them about to go extinct, that once covered the state of Ohio.) She was also angred cus her grandma had been an acomplished clarenet player and she also was becoming semi acomplished due to the encouragement from Lois. Max was telling heather that she couldn't play a solo in tribute to her grandma during the memorial survise and heather got really angry, its her grandma and he is just the boyfriend. Eric and I kinda fought on the side lines and talked to the brothers and we got heather her solo despite how Max tried to detour that.
Dinner at grandmas was surprisingly not to hard, we talked like a family would as if she where there some how it almost felt like she was present at the time. The house felt sad though when we left, I remember staring at it and thinking... it may be the last time I see it.
Today Eric and I are going to take Inky for a walk in my favorite national park here in ohio. Then we are heading home.. both of us can't help but dread the thought of going home right now.. we both fear finding something new posted on our apartment door it makes us nervous.