It twas 8 moons into the new solstice. I had heard of tales of a certain scaled beast whos breathe is filled with fire and whos phalus is as long as a great oak. The bounty to slaughter this mythic creature was 500 in gold, a new set of boots, and a free evening with the town wench. As I made my journey up the cavernous hill in which the beast dwells I noticed my trusty steed was troubled. Perhaps he can smell the evil in the air. Perhaps his bowels had been bothered by a spicy meal. I do not know. We approached the dwelling. I unsheathed my sword in case of attack. It twas then I entered his lair. I crept up the pathway. I could hear a distant bellow. I ventured at a swifter pace. And then I saw the mighty creature. I was fortunate enough to catch it during his hybernative stage, but I knew that would not last for long. Then with one swift strike, I dephallicated the beast awaking its slumber. It shot a firey fury at me. Luckily my dexterity was quick enough to dive out of the way. I then throw my sword in the body of the beast piercing its famed scales. A scream of terror filled the room at a deafening volume. The massive tail struck my legs and knocked me against the moss filled walls. When I gain consciousness, I realized I had slayed the feared creature. I returned to the town with the severed phallus as my proof. The town cheered with joy and honored me with the afformentioned wench. Although night fall had set I took the wench back to the cave. I lead her into the sliced open carcus and proceeded to penetrate the wench with a force unseen in these parts. With one hand on my sword and the other on my severed prize I devoured her essesence in such a way that she sprayed the contents of her stomach all over myself and the phallus. But it not matter to me. For this was my winning. It is with this tale I must give you an offer of my own, for I have heard that you, Lady VioletOnyx and I have much in common. I shall give you this opportunity to slay my great beast. Come to my kingdom, fair lady and you shall encounter a nirvana of pleasure only experienced in a realm unforseen in your putrid land.
For several moons now it has been my greatest desire to slay a great beast. I've had visions of a serpentine creature slithering amongst a dark warm wet abode. I assume this is his cave. In the vision I see myself slicing this creature lengthwise, not with a sword but with a small double edged dagger I keep hidden in my bodice. Then the vision turns red, blood I assume. It ends with the fading shrieks of a once proud man turning to silence. I still can't be sure what the vision means, but I suspect it has something to do with your offer. I question this nirvana of pleasure you speak of, and I take offense to you labeling my realm putrid. I fear you may have underestimated the Realm of VioletOnyx the Serpent Slayer.
As I made my journey up the cavernous hill in which the beast dwells I noticed my trusty steed was troubled. Perhaps he can smell the evil in the air. Perhaps his bowels had been bothered by a spicy meal. I do not know. We approached the dwelling. I unsheathed my sword in case of attack. It twas then I entered his lair. I crept up the pathway. I could hear a distant bellow. I ventured at a swifter pace. And then I saw the mighty creature. I was fortunate enough to catch it during his hybernative stage, but I knew that would not last for long. Then with one swift strike, I dephallicated the beast awaking its slumber. It shot a firey fury at me. Luckily my dexterity was quick enough to dive out of the way. I then throw my sword in the body of the beast piercing its famed scales. A scream of terror filled the room at a deafening volume. The massive tail struck my legs and knocked me against the moss filled walls. When I gain consciousness, I realized I had slayed the feared creature.
I returned to the town with the severed phallus as my proof. The town cheered with joy and honored me with the afformentioned wench.
Although night fall had set I took the wench back to the cave. I lead her into the sliced open carcus and proceeded to penetrate the wench with a force unseen in these parts. With one hand on my sword and the other on my severed prize I devoured her essesence in such a way that she sprayed the contents of her stomach all over myself and the phallus. But it not matter to me. For this was my winning.
It is with this tale I must give you an offer of my own, for I have heard that you, Lady VioletOnyx and I have much in common. I shall give you this opportunity to slay my great beast. Come to my kingdom, fair lady and you shall encounter a nirvana of pleasure only experienced in a realm unforseen in your putrid land.
For I am Ronaldo, and Ronaldo has spoken!
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For several moons now it has been my greatest desire to slay a great beast. I've had visions of a serpentine creature slithering amongst a dark warm wet abode. I assume this is his cave. In the vision I see myself slicing this creature lengthwise, not with a sword but with a small double edged dagger I keep hidden in my bodice. Then the vision turns red, blood I assume. It ends with the fading shrieks of a once proud man turning to silence. I still can't be sure what the vision means, but I suspect it has something to do with your offer. I question this nirvana of pleasure you speak of, and I take offense to you labeling my realm putrid. I fear you may have underestimated the Realm of VioletOnyx the Serpent Slayer.
The Lady has responded.
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