Foul mood
I woke up this morning in a particularly bad mood. I dreamed about my dad for the first time since he died. It jarred me and I'm trying to figure out why.
I've always put a lot of importance on my dreams, for some unknown reason. No one said, heed your dreams, they're important. I'm wondering if I'm mad that I dreamed about my dad, because in some part of my mind I think it means that he's out there somewhere? or that me dreaming about him ties him to existence. I'm just all muddled in my head about it.
I mean, I love my dad and never want to forget him. Is remembering him enough to make him a ghost?
The dream was of me and him in an RV. The plumbing didn't work well and when you flushed the toilet pee seeped out so I cleaned it up, but told him he should get it fixed. I asked my dad if there was anything I could do for him and he said there was nothing. He never moved while we talked, he was just sitting at the end of the RV looking relaxed.
Was he telling me nothing I do matters in the end? Was I trying to find some sense in his death, that nothing could have stopped? Is he in nothingness, or at peace somewhere seeing us?
So the part of my brain that is trying to make sense is interpreting the dream this way...
I was in an RV, my trip through life. My dad, who was once an active part of that, now is a passive part of that trip. I see him there, but although I know what he's saying, doesn't act at all now. Sometimes things on that trip don't work, but I think about fixing them, or cleaning up the messes they create. Seems reasonable I guess.
I've always put a lot of importance on my dreams, for some unknown reason. No one said, heed your dreams, they're important. I'm wondering if I'm mad that I dreamed about my dad, because in some part of my mind I think it means that he's out there somewhere? or that me dreaming about him ties him to existence. I'm just all muddled in my head about it.
I mean, I love my dad and never want to forget him. Is remembering him enough to make him a ghost?
The dream was of me and him in an RV. The plumbing didn't work well and when you flushed the toilet pee seeped out so I cleaned it up, but told him he should get it fixed. I asked my dad if there was anything I could do for him and he said there was nothing. He never moved while we talked, he was just sitting at the end of the RV looking relaxed.
Was he telling me nothing I do matters in the end? Was I trying to find some sense in his death, that nothing could have stopped? Is he in nothingness, or at peace somewhere seeing us?
So the part of my brain that is trying to make sense is interpreting the dream this way...
I was in an RV, my trip through life. My dad, who was once an active part of that, now is a passive part of that trip. I see him there, but although I know what he's saying, doesn't act at all now. Sometimes things on that trip don't work, but I think about fixing them, or cleaning up the messes they create. Seems reasonable I guess.