(no subject)
steve and ben went up for a drive together yesterday. just the 2 of them. it's so good to have 1 on 1 time with the boys. they're so different when they're alone. almost more grown-up? definately easier to handle. ;) i can't quite pin-point it.
we went to see The Water Horse this evening. it was a great great GREAT improvement over last week's alvin & the chipmunks. good gawd that movie sucked. the water horse however...beautiful.
ben loved it. there were a few scenes where he just grabbed my arm and cried into it. i don't ever remember being as emotional about a movie when i was a kid as he is. or maybe i was and just don't remember it. i love him so much. i love who he is...like, not just ben my son. but the actual personality that ben is. i always feel soo lucky that i know him. seriously.
i look at that photo above of him & steve and i just want to cry. i look at his long legs & his missing teeth and his beautiful skin and can't believe that he's growing up so quickly.
i think about times when he quietly climbs into bed with me and he just stares at me and strokes my hair. or softly kisses my cheeks when he thinks i'm still asleep.
as i'm lying in bed and i go over the day, i smile when i think of all of the magic tricks he shares with us...or the goofy jokes he tells over and over again. my heart literally feels full when i think about how he will always go to joaquin's defense when he is being reprimanded. i am filled with pride when ben tells joaquin "it's ok little joaquin-y. it was just a toy. i'm not mad at you" and gives him a hug after joaquin breaks one of his toys.
i love that ben loves music. i love how he openly talks with me about how he feels about things, and how he'll sometimes talk through notes on the piano. they're not masterpieces. some may even think his songs are 'messy', but when he presses those ivory keys trying to explain through song how his heart feels when he's in the mountains...i can't help but believe that there's someting extra special about that boy.
he may not ever grow up to be a musician, or a philospher, or known to many..but, i DO know one thing for certain....when he grows up...whomever he chooses to share the rest of his life with is the luckiest person on the planet.
when the day is through, all of the things that he did or didn't do that pissed me off seem so trivial. maybe it's God's way of preparing us for the new day ahead...remembering vividly and with fondness all of the wonderful things...and faintly recollecting those negative ones.
of course joaquin is just as beautiful as ben in his own way...but they each deserve their own little entries once in a while. :)