Random Bits
L - (about an actress) I’d hit that with a Mac truck.
A - (about an actor) I’d hit that with the space shuttle.
L. - (same actress) I’d hit that with a satellite guided real-time global positioning system.
Computer message:
Improperly handled condition, image exit forced.
My first thought: Well, fuck you too!
Amber emails her life:
Funny bit: I did something for Sharon this morning and she kidded around with making kissy noises in appreciation while the new girl was in her office. I said “Eww!”
Sharon said to the newbie “No, no, no, I’m married! Oh, you are gonna think I’m all weird!”
I said ‘Oh, yes, she’s married. Happily. Heterosexually.”
"I need to put this on a Facebook Flair" Number, uh, something high:
Were it not for my morals and the law, certain people will be tied up and force fed tranquilizers. And laxatives, just for the lulz. - me
Amber gives advice:
Do what you need to do and get what you need to get from the right friend at the right time. Kinda like Clue: Randy, in the living room, with the couch. Or Randy, in the living room, with his glasses off. >shudder!<
Horrors of Car Shopping - The Tie-Licker:
.... the manager of course comes up to talk to us, and as he sat down in front of us, the salesman points out that he has a glop of his dinner on his tie and ((no joke)) he brings it up to his mouth, licks it off and leaves this big stain of slime behind on this tie.....right in front of us!
-SL
Tweet pissed - Twissed?
If the envelope is addr 2 me & the letter is addr 2 me & u ask me about it & I tell u the deal, the next step is - U GIVE ME THE ITEM!
Staple removers should be completely made out of titanium.-
me, after breaking yet another one
Amber tries to relate to someone’s recent ER experience:
Blah. Sounds like the time the ER nurses had me drink lots of a nasty something, which caused diarrhea, so they could scan my abdomen to see what was causing my diarrhea.
A - Wow, I’ve been here 15 whole seconds and I’ve already told you to shut up.
L - It’d be nice if that was a record.
A - (about an actor) I’d hit that with the space shuttle.
L. - (same actress) I’d hit that with a satellite guided real-time global positioning system.
Computer message:
Improperly handled condition, image exit forced.
My first thought: Well, fuck you too!
Amber emails her life:
Funny bit: I did something for Sharon this morning and she kidded around with making kissy noises in appreciation while the new girl was in her office. I said “Eww!”
Sharon said to the newbie “No, no, no, I’m married! Oh, you are gonna think I’m all weird!”
I said ‘Oh, yes, she’s married. Happily. Heterosexually.”
"I need to put this on a Facebook Flair" Number, uh, something high:
Were it not for my morals and the law, certain people will be tied up and force fed tranquilizers. And laxatives, just for the lulz. - me
Amber gives advice:
Do what you need to do and get what you need to get from the right friend at the right time. Kinda like Clue: Randy, in the living room, with the couch. Or Randy, in the living room, with his glasses off. >shudder!<
Horrors of Car Shopping - The Tie-Licker:
.... the manager of course comes up to talk to us, and as he sat down in front of us, the salesman points out that he has a glop of his dinner on his tie and ((no joke)) he brings it up to his mouth, licks it off and leaves this big stain of slime behind on this tie.....right in front of us!
-SL
Tweet pissed - Twissed?
If the envelope is addr 2 me & the letter is addr 2 me & u ask me about it & I tell u the deal, the next step is - U GIVE ME THE ITEM!
Staple removers should be completely made out of titanium.-
me, after breaking yet another one
Amber tries to relate to someone’s recent ER experience:
Blah. Sounds like the time the ER nurses had me drink lots of a nasty something, which caused diarrhea, so they could scan my abdomen to see what was causing my diarrhea.
A - Wow, I’ve been here 15 whole seconds and I’ve already told you to shut up.
L - It’d be nice if that was a record.