Random quotes, one liners, a smart-arse comment, an email forward, etc.
Cleaning out the blog entry in process file:
Random Quotes:
Is there strangling in heaven? - SB
NEAR death is funny. -VC
Was this before or after the orgy? - overheard at Game Night
Don’t argue with the man in the tiara. - VC
Who’s violent? I’ve got a tiara on. - MJ
Would you like to wear the tiara? - MJ
No, thanks. I prefer to be violent. - JH
Death likes kittens. - VC & SB
What are you doing? - KH (work)
I’m trying to take over the world. But I need to wait ‘til lunch, because I need the high speed Internet connection. - VC
No, really. Kill her now. - VC
My imagination doesn’t RUN wild. It has a ATV. - VC
Customer:
Hey guys, do I have this new sexual misconduct thing in my insurance package? At age 65, this kind of misconduct is a compliment!
From Fox.com House Q&A:
Why didn’t House seen surprised or bothered by Cameron showing up in his room in the middle of the night and how did she get in?
Would you be bothered if Cameron showed up in your room one night? Would you really ask how she got in?
One Liners (gleanings from the web and elsewhere):
Enjoy all life has to give, but be ready to duck!
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Real Programmers Don't Document - If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Additional smart arse comeback for the nose issue (see previous entry):
I’m glad you asked! Let me tell you about the health benefits of Methamphetamine!
(Turned out to be some sort of infection on my face. Yeah, ew. Took antibiotics, better now.)
Email forwarded joke (edited by me!):
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin Style".
The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay . Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then, back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.
Each contestant will be driving a Volvo with Illinois license plates with the following bumper stickers:
Brett Favre is Gay
Hillary in 2008
Deer Hunting is Murder
Green Bay Sucks!
Go Bears!
The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive WINS!
Best fantasy weapons list:
http://www.wizarduniverse.com/magazine/wizard/006398688.cfm
These two really made me laugh:
40. Plasma Grenade
Halo
The sticky Plasma Grenade says, “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever bounces off me sticks to you and blows your ass across Blood Gulch.” There’s just nothing like sticking a Plasma Grenade right on another player’s crotch and watching him run helpless into the horizon before exploding into bite-size chunks.
32. Gravity Gun
Half-Life 2
First-person shooters are often defined by their guns, and there are none cooler than the Gravity Gun-it’s perfect gaming physics personified. You could also call it the “Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator,” but that’s just a fancy way of saying “I’m-a pick you up and shoot your ass into the horizon.”
shat-tastic - adjective of the week, from the same article
Really Random Thoughts:
I broke by staple remover the last day of November. I didn’t know that was even possible. I wonder how many staples I’ve removed since I started here a couple of years ago?
It just occurred to me, looking at my latest wallpaper of Hugh Laurie as House, eating popcorn, in a blue shirt (pause for *guh*), I hope Mr. Laurie likes the color blue. Blue really brings out his eyes (*guh* again), and the costume people on the show obliviously know that, so they often put blue shirts on him. Of course, he’s such a pro that he would wear ANYTHING for his work (witness Blackadder, for starters). But it would be nice if he liked the color blue.
I just figured it out. Kinda feeling out of the loop when the work gang plans to go out to a bar or karaoke or both or something… but, hey, this is their social group. I have my social group. It reminded me of college, when I came into Trinity as a junior, I already had my thing going. I made friends, who were juniors and seniors, too, and we weren’t into the freshman social activities. Did I kinda miss out? Maybe. But, hey, I had my own thing going! Hmm.
Random Quotes:
Is there strangling in heaven? - SB
NEAR death is funny. -VC
Was this before or after the orgy? - overheard at Game Night
Don’t argue with the man in the tiara. - VC
Who’s violent? I’ve got a tiara on. - MJ
Would you like to wear the tiara? - MJ
No, thanks. I prefer to be violent. - JH
Death likes kittens. - VC & SB
What are you doing? - KH (work)
I’m trying to take over the world. But I need to wait ‘til lunch, because I need the high speed Internet connection. - VC
No, really. Kill her now. - VC
My imagination doesn’t RUN wild. It has a ATV. - VC
Customer:
Hey guys, do I have this new sexual misconduct thing in my insurance package? At age 65, this kind of misconduct is a compliment!
From Fox.com House Q&A:
Why didn’t House seen surprised or bothered by Cameron showing up in his room in the middle of the night and how did she get in?
Would you be bothered if Cameron showed up in your room one night? Would you really ask how she got in?
One Liners (gleanings from the web and elsewhere):
Enjoy all life has to give, but be ready to duck!
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Real Programmers Don't Document - If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Additional smart arse comeback for the nose issue (see previous entry):
I’m glad you asked! Let me tell you about the health benefits of Methamphetamine!
(Turned out to be some sort of infection on my face. Yeah, ew. Took antibiotics, better now.)
Email forwarded joke (edited by me!):
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin Style".
The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay . Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then, back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.
Each contestant will be driving a Volvo with Illinois license plates with the following bumper stickers:
Brett Favre is Gay
Hillary in 2008
Deer Hunting is Murder
Green Bay Sucks!
Go Bears!
The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive WINS!
Best fantasy weapons list:
http://www.wizarduniverse.com/magazine/wizard/006398688.cfm
These two really made me laugh:
40. Plasma Grenade
Halo
The sticky Plasma Grenade says, “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever bounces off me sticks to you and blows your ass across Blood Gulch.” There’s just nothing like sticking a Plasma Grenade right on another player’s crotch and watching him run helpless into the horizon before exploding into bite-size chunks.
32. Gravity Gun
Half-Life 2
First-person shooters are often defined by their guns, and there are none cooler than the Gravity Gun-it’s perfect gaming physics personified. You could also call it the “Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator,” but that’s just a fancy way of saying “I’m-a pick you up and shoot your ass into the horizon.”
shat-tastic - adjective of the week, from the same article
Really Random Thoughts:
I broke by staple remover the last day of November. I didn’t know that was even possible. I wonder how many staples I’ve removed since I started here a couple of years ago?
It just occurred to me, looking at my latest wallpaper of Hugh Laurie as House, eating popcorn, in a blue shirt (pause for *guh*), I hope Mr. Laurie likes the color blue. Blue really brings out his eyes (*guh* again), and the costume people on the show obliviously know that, so they often put blue shirts on him. Of course, he’s such a pro that he would wear ANYTHING for his work (witness Blackadder, for starters). But it would be nice if he liked the color blue.
I just figured it out. Kinda feeling out of the loop when the work gang plans to go out to a bar or karaoke or both or something… but, hey, this is their social group. I have my social group. It reminded me of college, when I came into Trinity as a junior, I already had my thing going. I made friends, who were juniors and seniors, too, and we weren’t into the freshman social activities. Did I kinda miss out? Maybe. But, hey, I had my own thing going! Hmm.