What I See (1/1)
Title: What I See
Author: violetannrowen
Pairings: Blaine/Karofsky
Rating: PG
Summary: Snuggled up for ABC Family's Harry Potter Weekend, Blaine Anderson and David Karofsky discover their own deepest and more desperate desires.
Wordcount: 1336
“Harry, I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now that you realize what it does.”
“No, sir.”
“It shows us, nothing more or less, then the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts.”
Blaine sniffled and picked up another tissue from the box on his lap. He could feel the tears already gathering behind his eyes and he wanted to be prepared.
“Why are you crying already, babe?” Dave chuckled, pulling his boyfriend a little closer. “We’re barely half way through the first movie. I thought you would cry at the end, like I do.” Blaine sighed and shifted so he was pressed against Dave’s chest, his legs hung over his lap. They were snuggled together in Dave’s basement, both glued to the TV for the first night of Harry Potter Weekend on ABC Family. To be fair, Dave was only watching it because Blaine wanted. He had greatly enjoyed the books, had devoured them when no one was looking, but had never seen the films. Still, he knew how emotional his boyfriend could get, how emotional he himself could get, and decided it would be better if they just spent the time together.
“Do you ever wonder what you would see, David?” Blaine asked, his voice faint. “In the mirror? We all have our secrets. We all have our hidden desires. In a way, it just…makes you face them,” he said.
“What would you see, Blaine?” Dave asked. He was worried. Blaine’s eyes had been glued to the screen for longer then necessary, as if he were avoiding eye contact.
“My father,” he said simply. “I would see my father making a toast at my wedding, smiling and laughing and just, God, just beaming with pride.” Blaine voice caught in his throat and his body gave a little shudder. “But that’ll never happen, not anymore. He may not be dead, like Harry’s father, but I’ve lost him just the same.” His voice failed him and he began to sop, his shoulders shaking as he wrapped his arms around his torso, trying to hold himself together. Dave’s heart felt like it would break at the sight, but he just turned him in his arms and placed the smaller’s boys head on his shoulder.
Blaine rarely spoke of his father. As far as Dave knew, the two did not get along. Sometimes, he forgot that not all father’s were like Mr. Hummel or even his own dad. He had been a little hesitant, but accepting, loving. It was a luxury that some people didn’t have. Dave pressed his cheek to the mop of brown curls that adorned his boyfriend’s head and rubbed his hands up and down his back.
“Do you know what I would see, Blaine?” he whispered in his ear. Blaine shook his head, still curled into Dave’s side. “You and I, but not as we are now. Sometime in the future. You’re off doing whatever it is that you do. I’m not quite sure what it is yet, but I know you’ll be awesome at it,” he laughed under his breath. “We have a house on a little street in a little suburb, far, far from Lima, Ohio. We’re happy, Blaine. We’re working together, living together, being better friends, lovers, hell just trying to be better men for each other. Sure, sometimes we fight and argue, but we do it because we love one another.” Dave’s hands stopped their progression down Blaine’s spine as he kept talking.
“When I look in the mirror, no one has a bad word to say about us. No one looks at us like we’re some crime against nature. No one…I guess, no one really thinks twice about a person being gay anymore,” he shrugged. “And, I see me, being brave enough to stand beside you. Nothing more or less,” he sighed. Blaine lifted his head to give him a quizzical look.
“Is that all you see of yourself, David?” he asked. “You don’t want anything else for yourself? Why is that your deepest desire?” Blaine’s eyebrows knitted together and Dave almost laughed at the strangely triangular shapes.
“Because it’s yours, too, Blaine,” Dave smiled. “You make me feel strong and brave and…I guess I just want to be able to show it somewhere that isn’t my basement,” he chuckled under his breath. “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon. I promise. I want…I need to to be with you, Blaine. I know it doesn’t make sense. I know there isn’t really any good reason that you should be with me, but-“
“Shut up,” Blaine muttered. “Please, David, don’t say things like that about yourself. I’m with you because I love you, because I need to be with you just as much as you need to be with me. So, don’t you dare tel me that there ‘isn’t any good reason’ that I should be with you. Don’t. You. Dare.”
Blaine looped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and pulled himself up for a kiss. His lips were firm, reserved but there was another level to the sudden move. It was like a quiet desperation, a need to communicate that burned in the soul, but seemed lost to words. Blaine whimpered as Dave’s hands pushed him back so he was laying against the couch, Dave pinning him down and fingers brushing the buttons holding his plum cardigan together. He could swear Dave chuckled at the sound and nipped at Blaine’s lower lip before pulling back just enough to look at him.
“This is going to sound so silly,” Dave laughed, rubbing his nose against Blaine’s. “But do you mind if I hold hands with you at school tomorrow? I mean, as much as I would love to just shove you against your locker and play tonsil hockey in front of the entire student population, and believe me, I would, I don’t think WMHS could handle it.”
“I don’t care what those Neanderthals think of me, David,” Blaine said. “Neither should you. We’re not doing anything wrong-“
“Yes, but I do care, Blaine. I care about what happens to you. And as much as know it sucks, McKinley isn’t like Dalton. People here think a certain way about people that are gay and they aren’t going to change that right away. I should know,” he said. Blaine frowned and reached up to press a palm to Dave’s cheek.
“You know all of that is behind you, right?” he whispered. “All you were, all you did…you aren’t that person anymore, David. I remember what you were like the first time we met. You were harsh and cold and scared and now…now you’re like this huge teddy bear I never want let go of,” Blaine chuckled. His heart warmed when he saw his boyfriend smile. “So…as silly as it sounds, yes. You can hold my hand at school tomorrow,” he giggled, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to Dave’s cheek.
“Oh, and Blaine?”
“Yes?”
“I love you, too.”
Blaine smiled wide and tightened his arms around Dave’s neck to bring their foreheads together. He glanced at the movie, still playing. They must have gone to commercial because it wasn’t that far after where they had left off.
“You want to finish it, babe?” Dave asked. His lips brushed Blaine’s as he spoke.
“No. It can wait.” A smirk tugged at the corners of Blaine’s mouth and he pulled Dave close, kissing him with a renewed fervor. This time, it was Dave’s turn to whimper as his hands grasped at whatever part of his boyfriend he could reach to pull him flush against him. All thoughts of the past and worries for the future vanished as their mouths and bodies moved together, leaving only the now. And for the first time in far, far too long, Dave let himself go and just be.
“It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.”