Jul 14, 2005 12:57
my god it's difficult to hold onto friendships after the security of the day to day contact. summer is half over. I miss mind fuck of good classes. Unfortunate the way that brain functions! missing things as soon as we are away from them. loving them briefly, and then again missing the things we are away from.
In four weeks or so, my family will be quite scattered all over the continent. this, is turning into a dull throb and not an open sore as it has been. I'm packing up ALL of my belongings and sending them to dark basements until years in the future where I have some kind of a more-permanent residence. unless there's a fire. which may be more liberating than tragic, all in all. this is strange thinking, but another step in the way things are. I need good friends/cheap beer time. I need grass laying, book reading, sun bathing time. Luckily, my last day at work is next thursday, which will free up some time and energy.
Tentative plans: prepare to leave, again. eric's farewell party soon. flying to IL on July 27th, will be there until Aug. 11th. at this point, there are some pretty vague time lines going on where I will probably drive to CA with my Dad and end up flying back to NY from LA.
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words are clumsy, awkward, limited and are getting harder and harder to find and put together in any graceful or accurate manner. this, is leading to limited writing which makes my brain feel a little like mush but more along the lines of fossilized wood.
too many unknowns to not be flexible, I suppose. isn't that how it always is?