Broken Doll is thankful
dgsolar and I are back home. I'm both glad and sad about it mostly because I was leaving one home to be in another... makes me sad, but kind of glad because that other home was always loud and it's good to be alone with D.
I can't post much right now for I feel ... broken. That's really the first adjective that came to my mind and if I say "exhausted" "sad" "depressed" it all just feels like an understatement. I feel like I'm a broken doll and I don't know how long it will take me to get out of that state. In the end, I can't let go and flush out what's happening to me right now, even though I really want to and think it might help. I just can't write about it.
The most important thing I want to say in this post is that despite this being the worst thanksgiving of my life (I guess worst time of my whole life at this point), I still have things that I am greatly thankful for.
I am absolutely and completely thankful to
dgsolar. I'm thankful that faith has brought us together and that I have him in my life. I'm thankful that we were able to move forward in our lives and thus move on to be together. But mostly, I'm thankful that he is near me and that he is here for me when I need him the most.
D, thank you so much for your love and support. I wouldn't be able to go through this past week without you without falling to pieces completely. It means a lot to me and I'll never get tired thanking you for it (even if you do say that I don't have to). I love you with all my heart.
I'm also thankful that me and my family have such wonderful friends who have also been there for us all in our time of need in their love and support. It's moments like this that you realize who the true friends are. In this past weeks, some disappointments from the people we've known for years but some friends are so close that they become like family.
That's all for now.