script writing
So, I feel confident in my first draft of the script for act 1 of my new short "film" project. It's 232 words and I clocked myself reading it at 1 minute 23 seconds... Good timing I feel, I paced it well.
Here it is.
If you feel like it, leave me a comments.
"I pick up the phone and it's her…
She speaks frantically; like she can’t slow herself down…
That's when I remember, she had her first gig today.
She starts off telling me how she ate a bran muffin on her way there
And that when she showed up to the guys’ apartment, he greeted her with a salad, a cup of coffee and
a hundred dollars up front.
After that, she got right to work, just as they had discussed on the phone a few days before…
She started by cleaning the kitchen, “half-assed” she says, you know, just for appearances,
it didn’t need to look too convincing.
You see, this guy, he’s into domestics… Black domestics.
He wanted to watch her work.
She says, “he didn’t touch himself, he just watched…”
When she finished the kitchen, she started cleaning the bathroom.
He asked her to pay special attention to the toilet, but not to use any harsh chemicals
And when she finished, he insisted she take a “dump”, but not to flush afterwards…
So as she gets ready to leave, he says “wait…”
And at that moment he reaches into the toilet bowl, pulls out her shit and eats it…
“He ate it right in front of me” she screams, “HE ATE IT!…”
One hundred dollars for thirty minutes worth of work she tells me…
Now that’s certainly food for thought."
Here it is.
If you feel like it, leave me a comments.
"I pick up the phone and it's her…
She speaks frantically; like she can’t slow herself down…
That's when I remember, she had her first gig today.
She starts off telling me how she ate a bran muffin on her way there
And that when she showed up to the guys’ apartment, he greeted her with a salad, a cup of coffee and
a hundred dollars up front.
After that, she got right to work, just as they had discussed on the phone a few days before…
She started by cleaning the kitchen, “half-assed” she says, you know, just for appearances,
it didn’t need to look too convincing.
You see, this guy, he’s into domestics… Black domestics.
He wanted to watch her work.
She says, “he didn’t touch himself, he just watched…”
When she finished the kitchen, she started cleaning the bathroom.
He asked her to pay special attention to the toilet, but not to use any harsh chemicals
And when she finished, he insisted she take a “dump”, but not to flush afterwards…
So as she gets ready to leave, he says “wait…”
And at that moment he reaches into the toilet bowl, pulls out her shit and eats it…
“He ate it right in front of me” she screams, “HE ATE IT!…”
One hundred dollars for thirty minutes worth of work she tells me…
Now that’s certainly food for thought."