(no subject)
I really thought life would be different by now. And it is, but not in the way that I thought. I thought I'd be a lot further along in life by 28. I thought I'd be done with school, have a career, be married and maybe have children. But no, that would be too easy. Don't get me wrong, I have come a long way. I've been off anti-depressants for over a year now. I've learned to live with PCOS and not hate my body. My self-esteem could be higher but I'm working on it. I'm not afraid to show my unshaven legs now. I've stopped drinking and smoking. But I haven't changed in other ways. I still think about the past more than I would like. I still get crushes on celebrities. It's like I'm still a teenager. I hate it. I feel like I should be more mature by now. In fact, I feel like I haven't matured much since becoming a adult. Hell, it's hard to consider myself an adult. Adolescence, well, let's not go there. Maybe everyone goes through this part. Realizing I have to let go of my preconceived notions. Life rarely goes according to plan. Wish someone would have told me. I might not have believed them anyway. And what's with this crying over everything? So not impressed with that. I live most of my life not being able physically cry and now I can't stop. It's like it's making up for lost time or something. Do. Not. Like.