feeling wordy
so, yesterday was horrible! im sooo sooo sooo sooo sooo glad i dont have to go in today. but right, back to yesterday. so i really didnt want to go in, as usual, but i went in anyways, as usual. i completely finished my recipe (cream puff filled with hazelnut/praline pastry cream dipped in yummy "silky ganache deluxe" <- thats the real name of the recipe, how awesome is that? from now on when i name recipes im totally going to give them names like that!!) anyways, so i had decided that i was going to just decorate them with white chocolate S's and make that take up the whole day instead of doing an entire new recipe. well, chef had other plans. since i was finished, she took it as everyone else was finished or close to, so she paired us all up and dished out another recipe. i, thankfully, was paired with Alyssa, but she wasnt finished with her first recipe, and since i was already done with mine, i basically did then entire thing myself. it took forever!! first of all, the recipe was a combination of like 10 recipes..with make this on p399, and in that recipe make this p35, etc. so every recipe had several other recipes on several other pages, and i have to say that is sooo annoying!!!!! when/if i ever make a recipe book, i am most absolutely not going to make the poor individual thats trying to make one of my delicious recipes flip furiously throughout my entire book several hundred times for ONE FREAKING THING!...how inconsiderate! SO, after retrieving every recipe, the swiss butter cream frosting needed for the sarah bernbeards we were making kept breaking because the butter was either too hot or too cold...i must have made it about 3 times. finially Alyssa and i just decided to make a french, much much easier,butter cream instead. anyways, and THEN Angela, as much as i feel bad for her in all her awkwardness, and fumbling glory, was getting on every single last one of my nerves! fist of all, shes all "whats that?" sticking her, im sure not washed fingers into everything constantly! Then, she kept taking my finished and chilling cream puffs outta the fridge...why? i didnt ask her to, she didnt help me make then..there for she had no reason in the world to even touch them, much less move them about and let the supper silky ganache delux melt in the summer sun by leaving them sitting right in front of the window. then later, after the previous incodent where she took them out, she does it again, and proceeds to "try" to remove the plastic wrap covering them. Now, since she took them out the first time and let them sorta melt a little, the plastic wrap on top started to stick, and once replaced back into the loving coolness of the fridge, condensation ensued continuing to trap the plastic wrap firmly on the surface of my precious cream puffs. SO, she was "trying" to remove this plastic wrap by just whipping it off, when in reality all she was doing was flipping ALL but 5 of the 50 cream puffs over and out of their gilded cups! i was like "Angela, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" again, no one told her to take them out, much less uncover them! UGG! Mean while, Cortney hasnt even started her second recipe, and is continuing to struggle with her first. Chef ends up doing most of the thing for her and Cortney's attitude only got worse throughout the day. I swear shes got a stick permanently shoved up her ass!!! all day long she would come up to me, when im obviously no where near anything in her way, and go "EXCUSE ME", like its the most urgent thing in the world only to walk by casually with her nose in the air. so, in the infamous words of Alyssa, WHAT A BEAST! Everyday we're always waiting on her to finish. At the begining of class, Chef says be finished at such and such a time, and Cortney every day, is never finished, and takes up an estra 30 minutes or so to finish it. when everyone else as been busting their asses to finish on time, has finished so we just stand around doing nothing wainting on her. what on earth makes her so much better than all of the rest of us that she shouldnt have to be finished by the time given? it wouldnt be so bad i suppose if she had a better attitude about it all. if it seemed as though she was really trying and was just having a bad day and was humble about the entire thing, it wouldnt bother me at all. or if she only did this every now and then, thats fine! but every day? come on!!!
i dont know why, but all of that totally just ruined my day. im just so tired of peoples attitudes, i dont understand why some of these people are still here. its really starting to ware on my nerves and my, id like to think, optimistic outlook! i cant help it, but its all really starting to stress me out and thats why im not enjoying school as much. i dont want to go in ever because i already know that when i do go in im going to have to listen to Cortney bitch and moan about every thing, watch her stop around, have Angela knock my about several time or mess with my things, and listen to Chef talk with her nasty condescending attitude toward everything! and im tired of it. i want to just be able to walk into the kitchen once and have Cortney be happy, Angela just leave me alone, Nadia off the fucking phone and out of her boyfriends mouth, Carolin not take 300 smoke breaks, and Chef be more down to earth. or maybe im just using that as a cop-out for my real feelings that i just dont enjoy this...and that scares me, because if thats it..then that sucks that im already getting burnt out on cooking and im only jsut in school with it.
What sucks most about all of this is that i can ttalk to my mom about it. the one person, im happy to say, i can tell anything to and is always there for me. because every time i start in on all the crap drama etc going down in the kitchen, she gets this look on her face like just shut up already...like she doesnt want to hear is since shes paying all this money or something. i know she probably doesnt like to hear that im not enjoyig school as much as shed like, but its not like i dont enjoy that thought either! i dont want to just be wasting my parents money....or my time. i dont like to think that ive picked a profession that i hate already and now im jsut going to be stuck in it until i make enough to go back to school for something else like every other person i go to school with now! it would be nice if she cold jsut listen to me anyways, without that horrible look on her face, because i need to let all this crap out or one day im going to just snap on everyone...and i feel that that day might not be too far away. i caint wait until summer break!
i dont know why, but all of that totally just ruined my day. im just so tired of peoples attitudes, i dont understand why some of these people are still here. its really starting to ware on my nerves and my, id like to think, optimistic outlook! i cant help it, but its all really starting to stress me out and thats why im not enjoying school as much. i dont want to go in ever because i already know that when i do go in im going to have to listen to Cortney bitch and moan about every thing, watch her stop around, have Angela knock my about several time or mess with my things, and listen to Chef talk with her nasty condescending attitude toward everything! and im tired of it. i want to just be able to walk into the kitchen once and have Cortney be happy, Angela just leave me alone, Nadia off the fucking phone and out of her boyfriends mouth, Carolin not take 300 smoke breaks, and Chef be more down to earth. or maybe im just using that as a cop-out for my real feelings that i just dont enjoy this...and that scares me, because if thats it..then that sucks that im already getting burnt out on cooking and im only jsut in school with it.
What sucks most about all of this is that i can ttalk to my mom about it. the one person, im happy to say, i can tell anything to and is always there for me. because every time i start in on all the crap drama etc going down in the kitchen, she gets this look on her face like just shut up already...like she doesnt want to hear is since shes paying all this money or something. i know she probably doesnt like to hear that im not enjoyig school as much as shed like, but its not like i dont enjoy that thought either! i dont want to just be wasting my parents money....or my time. i dont like to think that ive picked a profession that i hate already and now im jsut going to be stuck in it until i make enough to go back to school for something else like every other person i go to school with now! it would be nice if she cold jsut listen to me anyways, without that horrible look on her face, because i need to let all this crap out or one day im going to just snap on everyone...and i feel that that day might not be too far away. i caint wait until summer break!