She doesn't love me today...and I hate her too na!:p
***Sum up of these last days***
-made some pictures and thought about creating a livejournal for photos only:) as I am an addict:)
-got on too well with seb for almost a month so we had to have a violent fight(words dont worry and I am always the most violent ;) again, I am so bored and tired...
-felt better from my hand but it's only totally healed...but on the way to :)thanks Goddess!but it's so cold in my home that my hand hurts again today:((( grrrr
-got a tiring migraine for many hours
-got rejections for jobs again and again and called for another job so still hoping and working on this!
-felt euphoric and disphoric in the same day
-feeling constantly lonely
-being more and more creative in my paper jrnl and working on my zines! a lot and nothing to say at the same time, have a lot of music to listen to...
-felt very inspired and totally hopeless
-still some problem to deal with anger ;) but who has no angers at all?
- got insulted again by a guy this time...I think it's rather weird to enjoy when someone tells you hurting awful stuff...but the sweet masochist in me really loves to be hated for some reasons...they often hate me for me so it's the same that love but inverted;) so to me it s still being seen...well a lot to write on this :p
but still wanting to discover new, so feel free to tell me what I should listen!!!:) have a lot lot lot of books to read should shut this computer for a week would do me good!!! ahah I hope everyone is fine...let's hope for some surprises to come!!!! They are on their way ;)I feel them:) Oh mrs Spring I am longing for thee!!!!;)
ok I wasn't really well brushed ahah but I love that new glittery rose hair clip it s soooo romantic and light colored ;) ancient pink...so pretty, yes I am vain ah ah :D
I have put my unique cross necklace today again and felt better...this cross means a lot to me, it s a part of me...I should wear it again and wear my memories and maybe wear my real me again who knows?
I miss my true self sooooo very much...I am so ugly these times...yes Love you're right, ugly is definetly an adjective for the inside!
When everything screams and is torn apart,bleeding,focusing on nothing but the fuckin self, lost self,found self...fuck this!
-made some pictures and thought about creating a livejournal for photos only:) as I am an addict:)
-got on too well with seb for almost a month so we had to have a violent fight(words dont worry and I am always the most violent ;) again, I am so bored and tired...
-felt better from my hand but it's only totally healed...but on the way to :)thanks Goddess!but it's so cold in my home that my hand hurts again today:((( grrrr
-got a tiring migraine for many hours
-got rejections for jobs again and again and called for another job so still hoping and working on this!
-felt euphoric and disphoric in the same day
-feeling constantly lonely
-being more and more creative in my paper jrnl and working on my zines! a lot and nothing to say at the same time, have a lot of music to listen to...
-felt very inspired and totally hopeless
-still some problem to deal with anger ;) but who has no angers at all?
- got insulted again by a guy this time...I think it's rather weird to enjoy when someone tells you hurting awful stuff...but the sweet masochist in me really loves to be hated for some reasons...they often hate me for me so it's the same that love but inverted;) so to me it s still being seen...well a lot to write on this :p
but still wanting to discover new, so feel free to tell me what I should listen!!!:) have a lot lot lot of books to read should shut this computer for a week would do me good!!! ahah I hope everyone is fine...let's hope for some surprises to come!!!! They are on their way ;)I feel them:) Oh mrs Spring I am longing for thee!!!!;)
ok I wasn't really well brushed ahah but I love that new glittery rose hair clip it s soooo romantic and light colored ;) ancient pink...so pretty, yes I am vain ah ah :D
I have put my unique cross necklace today again and felt better...this cross means a lot to me, it s a part of me...I should wear it again and wear my memories and maybe wear my real me again who knows?
I miss my true self sooooo very much...I am so ugly these times...yes Love you're right, ugly is definetly an adjective for the inside!
When everything screams and is torn apart,bleeding,focusing on nothing but the fuckin self, lost self,found self...fuck this!