the year of change

[violentlyhappy_]

so here it is kids... the new fucking year and i am wondering where this one is going to end up
i am hoping for much change this year
i hope to finally get the fuck out of here
and this time
i'm not repending on anyone
to do it for me
i'm tough
and i love you
i love me
i can do this

there is anticipation
for when you wil be here
and closer to me
near me
smelling you on me

my father was married on friday
i haven't slept this week
i haven't stopped shaking
i am more angry then i ever realised
i had a complete beak down
in the mall this week
while shopping for a wedding card
i held on to my new nephew
and just thought of.... you...

my family always makes me feel like
i am worthless

in 17 days
i will die
and i must
tell you
why