Joke of the day
A man walks into a bar. He gets so drunk that he vomits all over his own shirt. He says to the bartender, "What am I going to do? My wife will kill me when she sees that I got this drunk."
The bartender says, "Don't worry about it, here's what you do: put a ten dollar bill in your shirt pocket, and tell her that some other guy got drunk and threw up on your shirt, and gave you the money to pay to get it cleaned."
So the man goes home, and says to his wife, "Some guy at the bar got really drunk and threw up on my shirt, but he gave me this ten dollar bill to pay to get it cleaned."
His wife says, "But that's a twenty dollar bill."
The man says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, he shit in my pants too."
-Gilbert Gottfried
The bartender says, "Don't worry about it, here's what you do: put a ten dollar bill in your shirt pocket, and tell her that some other guy got drunk and threw up on your shirt, and gave you the money to pay to get it cleaned."
So the man goes home, and says to his wife, "Some guy at the bar got really drunk and threw up on my shirt, but he gave me this ten dollar bill to pay to get it cleaned."
His wife says, "But that's a twenty dollar bill."
The man says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, he shit in my pants too."
-Gilbert Gottfried