(no subject)
My kitten died sometime last night. I got up this morning, and he was laying like he was asleep....so I picked him up...
I screamed loud enough to wake the neighbor. I've washed my hands so many times today and I just want to keep scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing...it won't go away. I honestly don't know which is worse, losing my kitten or just having touched something dead.
I hate death. I hate it. I can't even handle things like seeing a dead squirrel in the yard. I've been shaking all over all day and I can't stop thinking about it and I can't stop crying and I can't stop washing my hands trying to get rid of that...cold stiff feeling.
I don't know what was wrong with him. He was always kind of...slow. Didn't gain weight well, had really bad balance, wasn't all there. Maybe he just wasn't born right. I didn't expect him to die, though.
I screamed loud enough to wake the neighbor. I've washed my hands so many times today and I just want to keep scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing...it won't go away. I honestly don't know which is worse, losing my kitten or just having touched something dead.
I hate death. I hate it. I can't even handle things like seeing a dead squirrel in the yard. I've been shaking all over all day and I can't stop thinking about it and I can't stop crying and I can't stop washing my hands trying to get rid of that...cold stiff feeling.
I don't know what was wrong with him. He was always kind of...slow. Didn't gain weight well, had really bad balance, wasn't all there. Maybe he just wasn't born right. I didn't expect him to die, though.