(no subject)
I've realized alot...well not alot...but some things.
I was reading someones entries. It made me think back to who they used to be and what has happened to them till now. A part of me wants to scream in their face and tell them to be happy they're alive and to shut the fuck up because all they're looking for is some little attention even though they get it enough and don't realize the good around them. but. then there's the other side. I don't really know what they've exactly been through. i don't know what's happening now...and i have no say in their life. I guess you could say i'm just worried about them and want them to realize the world around them. How many people care about them, think about them. It might not always seem that way...but they do...atleast someone out there does.
Anyways it's none of my business....
It might sound stupid but i've been thinking about my family. I don't think i belong at all. Yes, i might look like my siblings...but i don't act like them. I feel like sort of an outcast. the odd one out. I guess i'm stuck in the middle now. My brother's still my moms baby and my sisters and brother are living their own life..i'm the inbetween. not 100% payed attention too unless it's about chores and school. I don't know exactly what i'm saying but i get angry...and frustrated whenever my brother doesn't get punished for something that i would have been punished for. Or isn't made to do chores or isn't watched for doing wrongs things.
Whenever my family gets together. I'm the one that gets critized. no matter what..my attitude, the way i dress, my opinion on something... there is always critizism from my sisters which my mom agrees with...and of course theres my dad sitting eating or watching TV not saying a word. I wish my dad would say something...or even show emotion.
I feel stupid.
for even writing in this.
I'm not looking for attention...but a stress relief so i don't take it out on other people. I hate doing that.
I hate bringing my bad/sour attitude upon other people....i feel like i just ruined their good day. I feel aweful about that.
...yup.
I was reading someones entries. It made me think back to who they used to be and what has happened to them till now. A part of me wants to scream in their face and tell them to be happy they're alive and to shut the fuck up because all they're looking for is some little attention even though they get it enough and don't realize the good around them. but. then there's the other side. I don't really know what they've exactly been through. i don't know what's happening now...and i have no say in their life. I guess you could say i'm just worried about them and want them to realize the world around them. How many people care about them, think about them. It might not always seem that way...but they do...atleast someone out there does.
Anyways it's none of my business....
It might sound stupid but i've been thinking about my family. I don't think i belong at all. Yes, i might look like my siblings...but i don't act like them. I feel like sort of an outcast. the odd one out. I guess i'm stuck in the middle now. My brother's still my moms baby and my sisters and brother are living their own life..i'm the inbetween. not 100% payed attention too unless it's about chores and school. I don't know exactly what i'm saying but i get angry...and frustrated whenever my brother doesn't get punished for something that i would have been punished for. Or isn't made to do chores or isn't watched for doing wrongs things.
Whenever my family gets together. I'm the one that gets critized. no matter what..my attitude, the way i dress, my opinion on something... there is always critizism from my sisters which my mom agrees with...and of course theres my dad sitting eating or watching TV not saying a word. I wish my dad would say something...or even show emotion.
I feel stupid.
for even writing in this.
I'm not looking for attention...but a stress relief so i don't take it out on other people. I hate doing that.
I hate bringing my bad/sour attitude upon other people....i feel like i just ruined their good day. I feel aweful about that.
...yup.