(no subject)
daniel maalouf made me cry today in chamber rehearsal. bastard. he didn't realize that not enough time had passed to make jokes and that i'm still sensitive. but he made it up to me w/ a hug and a kiss and an apology - it's interesting how boys will show sensitivity at the most unexpected moments.
i have to do my freakin' humanities paper this period. thank god this shit's gonna be over in two days.
edit:
i am retarded. moments like these (read: longing after boys who i can't have and who don't want me and who i should not ever be interested in and who are a complete fucking waste of time) make me hate myself and want to cut out my heart and throw it away. except that i can't and i shouldn't even try to convince myself that i can because that would be a silly waste of time. only being sad is also a silly waste of time. so what do i do? wait it out? ahhh....dear God, send me some peace...or at least a really beautiful boy who makes me feel good.
i have to do my freakin' humanities paper this period. thank god this shit's gonna be over in two days.
edit:
i am retarded. moments like these (read: longing after boys who i can't have and who don't want me and who i should not ever be interested in and who are a complete fucking waste of time) make me hate myself and want to cut out my heart and throw it away. except that i can't and i shouldn't even try to convince myself that i can because that would be a silly waste of time. only being sad is also a silly waste of time. so what do i do? wait it out? ahhh....dear God, send me some peace...or at least a really beautiful boy who makes me feel good.