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[viola4]

When I look at a bunch of photos from last fall, I get depressed about how optimistic I still was, how fresh and curious to see what life here is like....and last fall was by far not the best time I've ever had, BY FAR not the best 5 months of my life. But, do I like my life in Tucson more than back then? No. Slightly less even, because of the lack

Comments

[diskjunky]

very true - and count yourself lucky that you have the time and opportunity to!

[viola4]

You know....yes, but everything comes with a price.

[viola4]

I am not saying I am bad off, just that it doesn't mean I can never be dissatisfied with how certain things pan out. Gratitude for the great opportunity/luck to be born half way intelligent in an industrialized nation helps you with perspective, yes, but it's not something that by default makes you a happy person and instantly washes all your worries away. That's not how human nature works, otherwise, by extension, everyone would just be happy to eat every day and mankind wouldn't be where it is, because a lot of where mankind is now is a result of people striving for a little more than just be happy with what they have.

[viola4]

And yes, I AM aware that I am having a great opportunity here, and I AM grateful to all these people/organisations who gave me money for it because for some reason they think it's well invested in me. And I don't want to disappoint them! But I can only do a good job with something if I am convinced it's the right thing.

[diskjunky]

sorry about the late reply - those other posts didn't make it into my inbox :-(

I take it from your last post that the issue then is a moral one? ie, that you're "doing the right thing"?

[leolegende]

I wouldn't give too much about what other people think or expect. It's your life.