.i hate feeling insecure.
i'm feeling so retarded right now, i could kick myself in the ass.
allow me to vent a bit.
i'll get straight to the point... i don't like that jeff talks to his ex-wife so much. it's not that he wants to, it's that he has to because of justin. but i, of course, don't let him know this. he calls her phone to talk to justin... he could give a rats ass about talking to her. i know this for a fact because he can't stand talking to her. he bashes her everytime he gets off the phone or sees her. but still, knowing that he's talking to her makes me feel uncomfortable. and let me tell you, for a person that shows every expression on her face, it's very difficult for me to hide that. but i must manage to do so.
i've noticed (and he's told me) that he's fake with her. he has a fake laugh, a fake way of talking to her to act as if he gives a fuck what she says, even a fake smile. he made sure to tell me, when we went to smoke a cig alone at the hospital, that he's not listening one bit to her when she talks.
i just felt uncomfortable when he said last week that he wouldn't lie, of course he'd like it to work out between them. (completely understandable) but he knows it won't. he couldn't trust her after she cheated on him. and she's too bitchy for him. (these are straight out of his mouth) he agrees when i say she didn't know what she had. he also said that IF it ever worked, he'd never trust her again, that she'd have to completely change her attitude, and completely kiss his ass. and what would stop her from changing back to her true self? and it would make him feel like he was dealing with another child, if she were to suck up to him. ---those, again, were his words.
i had to talk to my dad about it. he made me feel a bit better. he said that with him saying that, it seals the deal as far as him never getting back together with her. he said that was natural to feel that way. (which i understand. i felt that way about eddie. it just wouldn't work.) he said it's also okay for me to feel odd and uncomfortable with him talking to her. just to know that that's something he's gotta do because they have a child together.
dad also said that it's very obvious that jeff cares about me. he wants me around and he spends as much time with me as he possibly can. he said just to give it time and not to rush him into anything. let it be his idea because jeff's still in this transitional phase. but he's obviously seen something in me that's worth holding onto, a future, but he's still adjusting.
my dad's great. i never thought my parents could give me relationship advice. but i figured they're the best ones to go to in this situation considering they both were previously married.
dad's right. jeff obviously cares. if my parents can see that, why should i ever doubt it? guess i'm feeling insecure because i'm not seeing him as often as we used to.
*smacks self*
allow me to vent a bit.
i'll get straight to the point... i don't like that jeff talks to his ex-wife so much. it's not that he wants to, it's that he has to because of justin. but i, of course, don't let him know this. he calls her phone to talk to justin... he could give a rats ass about talking to her. i know this for a fact because he can't stand talking to her. he bashes her everytime he gets off the phone or sees her. but still, knowing that he's talking to her makes me feel uncomfortable. and let me tell you, for a person that shows every expression on her face, it's very difficult for me to hide that. but i must manage to do so.
i've noticed (and he's told me) that he's fake with her. he has a fake laugh, a fake way of talking to her to act as if he gives a fuck what she says, even a fake smile. he made sure to tell me, when we went to smoke a cig alone at the hospital, that he's not listening one bit to her when she talks.
i just felt uncomfortable when he said last week that he wouldn't lie, of course he'd like it to work out between them. (completely understandable) but he knows it won't. he couldn't trust her after she cheated on him. and she's too bitchy for him. (these are straight out of his mouth) he agrees when i say she didn't know what she had. he also said that IF it ever worked, he'd never trust her again, that she'd have to completely change her attitude, and completely kiss his ass. and what would stop her from changing back to her true self? and it would make him feel like he was dealing with another child, if she were to suck up to him. ---those, again, were his words.
i had to talk to my dad about it. he made me feel a bit better. he said that with him saying that, it seals the deal as far as him never getting back together with her. he said that was natural to feel that way. (which i understand. i felt that way about eddie. it just wouldn't work.) he said it's also okay for me to feel odd and uncomfortable with him talking to her. just to know that that's something he's gotta do because they have a child together.
dad also said that it's very obvious that jeff cares about me. he wants me around and he spends as much time with me as he possibly can. he said just to give it time and not to rush him into anything. let it be his idea because jeff's still in this transitional phase. but he's obviously seen something in me that's worth holding onto, a future, but he's still adjusting.
my dad's great. i never thought my parents could give me relationship advice. but i figured they're the best ones to go to in this situation considering they both were previously married.
dad's right. jeff obviously cares. if my parents can see that, why should i ever doubt it? guess i'm feeling insecure because i'm not seeing him as often as we used to.
*smacks self*