Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it

[vinylriceboy]

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We know too little about love, insofar that probably what we know is not even close to half of what love is. I hate it when someone confine love into his/her own mere representation of it, only a representation, a distorted version without substance. Do you find it borderline pathetic? A superstructure without a foundation, a deception they call love, they perceive it in such a naive sense. It is disgusting.

I don't know if its attributed to the contemporary media, modern living, materialists or whatever it is that mutilated their conception of love. Coming from its mutilation, it explains the 50% divorce rates for first marriages in America.

One might say, "I want to be together with B only because I believe I can make B happy". This statement can be genuine. Yet there might be an underlying defect in this, A the pursuer could be conscious or unconscious about the defect. The unconscious one could be asserting that statement, unknowingly, that A could make B feel loved and happy (Not to mention the pride of believing A has the most ability to give B love). Albeit A may think that A himself/herself is a great lover, self-denying person but possibly subconsciously A did it so that in eliciting B's happiness and by being together, A would find a greater happiness in it. Nobody is at fault here, just an unawareness that A was only seeking for something self-satisfying. Which is self-interest actually, it is no longer love at all, when part of love is self-sacrifice.

Plausibly, I think this is the best explanation for love:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
-First letter of St Paul to the Corinthians 13:4-8a

So if love never fails, it is perpetual, that means no relationship will tear apart if it was out of love in its totality.

As the saying goes, "Love is a mystery", for what I firmly believe now is that love is more than just feelings & emotions. That is a vague interpretation of it by thinking that love is only feelings & emotions, and by saying that love is only feelings & emotions is an attempt to contain love when love certainly overflows, for love is beyond reason. If there is a basis for love, it is bound to crumble. When you love someone, because he/she is this and that, all these qualities are temporal. Your physical look, the way you think about things and the way you feel. Yes, feelings & emotions are also temporal. As absurd as it sounds, true love, is when we love someone for no reason. I'll explain this (Because intuitions without concepts are blind) with the aid of John Gray's work, his explanation is starker than mine but our thoughts are similar on this.

He wrote, "The soul is the aspect of who we are that is most lasting. When the soul is attracted to someone and recognizes a mate, then with that person, because we experience a soul chemistry, the physical, emotional, and mental chemistry can also be sustained. Lasting physical attraction must find its source in our souls. On the level of the soul, you are the same throughout your life. The person who was a little child is the same person you are now. You are you all your life. The soul is that part of you that doesn't change."

I'll take an excerpt from Nigel Warbuton his book on Philosophy, in his criticism against scientism, he wrote:
"Scientists seek law-like generalizations that apply in a wide range of the situations. But to understand, for example, a particular relationship between two human beings in terms of physiological responses, genetic inheritance, childhood conditioning, and so on, though it might give an accurate picture, omits the lived experience of falling in (or out of) love - a topic which can be more readily addressed by a novelist or a poet than an experimental psychologist."

Playing around with quotes from these three persons, make them dialogues forming a conversation. Jean Paul Sartre (An existentialist philosopher, pessimist and an atheist), Erich Fromm (A humanistic philosopher, a social psychologist and a Jew) and Oscar Wilde (A poet, playwright and a Roman Catholic).

Jean Paul Sartre: "Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. I exist, that is all, and it is nauseating"

Erich Fromm: "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

Oscar Wilde: "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead."

Anyway, it is 5.00am right now, before I end off. There is one phrase that I've always wanted to tell everyone about, "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." and for a moment I was warm and the world made sense because of love.