Fic: Why Cho Kyuhyun is Not allowed to cook
Title: Why Cho Kyuhyun is Not allowed to cook
Characters: Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Yesung, Eunhyuk, Sungmin
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~1600
Genre: Humour
Disclaimers: I don't own anything,
Summary: The title says it all. :)
Ryeowook was happy. The sun was shining, he had had the day off and had been able to meet up with a couple of old friends whom he hadn’t seen in a while and who he had missed dearly. Sitting at a coffee shop and chatting with them had strengthened his spirit and put him in a good mood. Ryeowook had also met with his parents and they eaten a late lunch together and Ryeowook knew that nothing could destroy the good mood he was in.
Ryewook hummed softly to himself while he was standing inside the elevator, when the door opened he was met by a strong pungent smell. Ryeowook wrinkled his nose and pitied the owner of the apartment the smell came from.
When Ryeowook opened the door to his dorm, he almost choked on the putrid smell and smoke.
He shut the door quickly, dropped everything he was holding in his hands and ran to the living room where he opened all the windows as wide as they could go. Then he made his way to the kitchen where the smoke and the horrible stench came from.
Kyhyun was standing there, looking confusedly at the pot with something which looked liked smoking charcoals.
“What are you doing?” Ryeowook asked in a deadly calm voice.
“Oh Ryeowook, your home!” Kyuhyun grinned at him. “I was watching this movie on TV and I suddenly got this urge for popcorn. Sungminnie always makes them in a pot with oil and butter and they taste a lot better than microwave popcorn so that’s what I decided to make.” Kyuhyun tapped his chin with one of his fingers. “I probably shouldn’t have left the pot on the stove for the first thirty minutes of the movie. It does smell a bit, doesn’t it?”
It was fortunate for Suju’s magnae that Ryeowook up until now had had a great day, otherwise said magnae might have gotten hit over the head over and over with the ruined pot. Ryeowook’s favourite, one might add.
Eunhyuk stared in disbelief at the plate in front of him. Kyuhyun was almost jumping up and down in excitement.
“I thought I’d make your favourite dish hyung since you’re sick.” Kyuhyun explained. “Ryeowookie told me to heat up the chicken soup Sungminnie made yesterday but I thought you’d be a bit tired of it and so I made you kimchi fried rice a la Kyuhyun!”
Eunhyuk managed to look up at Kyuhyun and give him a sickly smile before turning his eyes once more to the ominous looking plate in front of him.
“Kyuhyun-ah.” Eunhyuk said carefully. “Why is it blue, black, red, green and yellow colored?”
Eunhyuk sniffed daintily at it and even though his nose was full of snot, his eyes got all teary from the spicy smell the dish excluded.
“Oh hyung! I only cooked for you.” Kyuhyun exclaimed and awkwardly patted Eunhyuk’s back. “I know you’re a very sensitive guy but you don’t need to cry just because I cooked for you. I thought the normal color was a bit too bland so I used some things that I found in the cupboards.”
Now Eunhyuk really felt like crying, especially with Kyuhyun looking at him so expectantly.
“Well?” Kyuhyun asked. “Aren’t you going to try it?”
Eunhyuk stared at the plate. Stared at Kyuhyun. Stared at the plate.
He picked up the fork and slowly scooped up a small portion. Kyuhyun vibrated in excitement. Eunhyuk cried on the inside.
Slowly, slowly Eunhyuk brought the fork closer to his lips. He stopped it when it reached his mouth. Kyuhyun nodded encouragingly at him. Eunhyuk swallowed hard before he opened his mouth, then he put the small offering inside his mouth.
Eunhyuk would have screamed if only he could have gotten enough air into his lungs.
It was sometime around 4.30 in the morning when Yesung woke up and decided he wanted a glass of water. When he opened the door to his and Ryeowook’s bedroom he heard some strange noises from the kitchen. Yesung grabbed an umbrella and stealthily made his way there.
In the kitchen he found a floor-, egg-, and what not covered Kyuhyun, staring in confusion at the strange thing which most people call an electric handmixer.
Yesung cleared his throat. Kyuhyun looked up and happily waved the still switched on handmixer at him. Yesung managed to open the umbrella just in time and avoided getting hit by the strange goo Kyuhyun had been making. Yesung noted that the umbrella probably was a lost cause and quickly glanced down at the handle and winced. It was Ryeowook’s.
“Hyung, do you know how this thing is supposed to work?” Kyuhyun asked innocently. “Sungmin’s been a bit down lately and I just wanted to make him something that would make him feel a bit better.”
Yesung wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug the magnae or if he wanted to thump him.
“That’s very sweet of you Kyu.” Yesung said. “Um, what exactly are you supposed to be making?” He almost wished he hadn’t asked the question.
“I wanted to make a pumpkin pie, but halfway through I realized I’d forgotten to buy the pumpkin, so I decided to switch to a strawberry pie, but then looking through our fridge I saw that we only had vegetables home so I decided that I’d try my hand on a vegetable pie. I mean it’s still a pie, right? So there shouldn’t be any difference in recipe, right?” Kyuhyun looked at Yesung for support.
Yesung managed a weak smile. Now he knew he shouldn’t have asked.
“But you know, the normal pie isn’t really all that fun, it looks pretty bland and so on, so I decided to put in some things that make things red and then I remembered that I either had to pour something over the pie or make a crust or something. Since I only had the pumpkin pie recipe I decided to improvise.” Kyuhyun grinned at Yesung.
While Kyuhyun had been talking Yesung had slowly been backing away from the kitchen.
“Good night Kyuhyun.” Yesung said before fleeing back into his room. Yesung decided that the next time he heard a strange sound, he’d just pull the covers over his head and ignore it. Being robbed blind couldn’t be worse than watching Kyuhyun destroy the kitchen.
Sungmin bit his bottom lip and looked hesitantly at Kyuhyun, who was smiling excitedly and was being very eager to help.
“Come on Sungminnie! Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it! I’m very good at following orders.” Kyuhyun gave his hyung a bright smile.
“Ah, I don’t know Kyu-“ Sungmin trailed off.
“Don’t be a fool, you said it yourself that you have a lot of work to do still and since I Donghae managed to break my computer I have nothing to do.” Kyuhyun said.
“You can always borrow mine.” Sungmin tried.
“No, no I need mine. Yours is very good, but for the games I’m playing I need an advanced graphic card, a better processor and-“ Kyuhyun took a look at Sungmin. “-in short a more advanced computer, not just a notebook.”
“You’ve already tried mine, haven’t you?” Sungmin asked looking and sounding amused.
Kyuhyun chuckled and nodded.
“Alright,” Sungmin sighed in defeat, he did have a lot of things to do. “Very well, then I’ll put you in charge of the rice.”
Sungmin thought that if there was one thing Kyuhyun wouldn’t be able to do something strange to, it was the rice.
“Ai, ai Sir!” Kyuhyun said and smartly saluted Sungmin before turning his attention to the rice cooker.
10 minutes later the kitchen was filled with a dark cloud of smoke and Sungmin was hanging almost halfway out through one of the windows, choking and coughing with tears running down his face.
All the members of Super Junior had gathered in the top floor dorm. They were going to have an informal meeting to discuss the upcoming album and concept.
“Kyuhyun, be a good magnae and go cook some ramen for us!” Leeteuk ordered.
Leeteuk ignored the no, no gestures Yesung and Sungmin were doing behind Kyuhyun’s back. He’d heard the stories but he also knew that all of his members were prone to over exaggerating.
“Sure!” Kyuhyun said.
While the others started watching TV, playing games, surfing the net and so on, the inhabitants of the downstairs dorm discretely collected their things and snuck out.
“What do you guys want?” Yesung asked, phone in hand. “I’ll order enough for the others too.”
“Or maybe we should just lock the door and pretend we’re not there?” Eunhyuk muttered.
“And here I thought you’d never abandon either Donghae or Leeteuk.” Ryeowook teased.
Eunhyuk raised an eyebrow.
“When it comes to Kyuhyun’s cooking, it’s every man for himself.” Eunhyuk said.
Sungmin nodded in agreement. “Don’t forget, Leeteuk was the one who asked him to cook, even though we’ve warned him about Kyuhyun and his adventures in the kitchen.”
Yesung fiddled a bit with the lock.
“There, now the only ones to have access are the four of us, how about we turn off our phones and go out for dinner. I’ll drive.” Yesung suggested.
“And pay?” Eunhyuk asked.
“Or you could stay here and eat whatever Kyuhyun manages to destroy.” Yesung rolled his eyes.
“Ah, that’s ok hyung. See-“ Eunhyuk waved his wallet in front of Yesung’s face. “I have my wallet right here.”
“Everyone ready?” Sungmin took a quick look at his friends and handed Ryeowook a scarf, Yesung a jacket and Eunhyuk a cap.
Just then they could hear screams from the dorm above. Yesung, Eunhyuk, Sungmin and Ryeowook, all looked at each other. An unseen signal was given and as one they ran.