(no subject)
I want to write a long-drawn out entry, but I seem to have a lack of writing sense today. I don't know if it's because I'm feeling a little under-the-weather, or if its just because I don't really have a lot on my mind. Well, actually that's a lie. I have many things on my mind, but I don't really want to share all of them with the world.
Perhaps I shall share a few tidbits though, about what's going on in that complex thing I like to call my brain. I was thinking about Thanksgiving, and how it's on Thursday. Needless to say, it made my stomach rumble just thinking about all the turkey, stuffing, pies, and other various victuals that will be spread on the table. But then, I began to feel sorry for all those people who can't afford a nice turkey dinner for this holiday. However, I love how some people are trying to do good this Thanksgiving season, by donating canned foods, or even whole turkey meals to needy familys around the county. It shows that society really can come together, and give kindness to one another.
Then, I was thinking about Christmas. It's usually my favorite holiday of the year. All the decorations, the scent of pine trees permeating the air, the splendor of each brightly wrapped gift under the tree, and the stockings hung up in a row, just waiting to be stuffed full of candy and toys. I love the smell of Christmas too. Although the part of California I live in doesn't get any snow, it still smells wonderful at this time of year. I don't know why... maybe its the magic of the season.
But everytime Christmas rolls around, I think of my nana who I lost about 3 years ago. I look at the chair she used to sit in, while we unwrapped presents and remember how happy she'd be whenever she would open something I gave her. It was nothing really, just some stupid little trinket here or there. But she loved everything anyone gave her, no matter how big or small it was, and despite however much it had cost. She was such a caring, sensitive soul, never a harsh word really to say to anyone. When she was mad, you could tell and she would yell fits of anger at people. But her words were never harsh, just.... constructive criticism I suppose.
She was a nice woman, full of love for those who she cared about most. The last thing I remember about her was while she lied in her hospital bed, she looked at me and didn't even remember who I was at first. It hurt so much. I knew it wasn't her fault, but still.... this woman that I had loved for so much of my life, couldn't even remember who I was. It stung just like a bee sting might. I left that night, sad but hopeful that she would remember me the next day I came to visit. However, there was no next day because she died shortly after. I remember my mother calling over at my dad's house.
I had picked up the phone, and when I heard her voice say "Something happened", I asked her "Did Nana die?" There was silence on the other end, and then she said "Yes." The next thing I remember is my throwing down the phone and almost collapsing. Debbie had been in the kitchen chopping something or other, and my dad had been in the bathroom. I remember her dropping her knife, and yelling "Oh no, JOE get out here". And she ran to me, and I just sobbed in her arms, while Denise was in Dad's. It was such a sad moment.
I hate thinking that she won't be here this Christmas. Knowing that makes me want Christmas not to come. I'm such a Scrooge this year.
I went to cabaret last thursday. It was pretty fun, though I could totally tell Danielle wanted to hit me. OH WELL.
Perhaps I shall share a few tidbits though, about what's going on in that complex thing I like to call my brain. I was thinking about Thanksgiving, and how it's on Thursday. Needless to say, it made my stomach rumble just thinking about all the turkey, stuffing, pies, and other various victuals that will be spread on the table. But then, I began to feel sorry for all those people who can't afford a nice turkey dinner for this holiday. However, I love how some people are trying to do good this Thanksgiving season, by donating canned foods, or even whole turkey meals to needy familys around the county. It shows that society really can come together, and give kindness to one another.
Then, I was thinking about Christmas. It's usually my favorite holiday of the year. All the decorations, the scent of pine trees permeating the air, the splendor of each brightly wrapped gift under the tree, and the stockings hung up in a row, just waiting to be stuffed full of candy and toys. I love the smell of Christmas too. Although the part of California I live in doesn't get any snow, it still smells wonderful at this time of year. I don't know why... maybe its the magic of the season.
But everytime Christmas rolls around, I think of my nana who I lost about 3 years ago. I look at the chair she used to sit in, while we unwrapped presents and remember how happy she'd be whenever she would open something I gave her. It was nothing really, just some stupid little trinket here or there. But she loved everything anyone gave her, no matter how big or small it was, and despite however much it had cost. She was such a caring, sensitive soul, never a harsh word really to say to anyone. When she was mad, you could tell and she would yell fits of anger at people. But her words were never harsh, just.... constructive criticism I suppose.
She was a nice woman, full of love for those who she cared about most. The last thing I remember about her was while she lied in her hospital bed, she looked at me and didn't even remember who I was at first. It hurt so much. I knew it wasn't her fault, but still.... this woman that I had loved for so much of my life, couldn't even remember who I was. It stung just like a bee sting might. I left that night, sad but hopeful that she would remember me the next day I came to visit. However, there was no next day because she died shortly after. I remember my mother calling over at my dad's house.
I had picked up the phone, and when I heard her voice say "Something happened", I asked her "Did Nana die?" There was silence on the other end, and then she said "Yes." The next thing I remember is my throwing down the phone and almost collapsing. Debbie had been in the kitchen chopping something or other, and my dad had been in the bathroom. I remember her dropping her knife, and yelling "Oh no, JOE get out here". And she ran to me, and I just sobbed in her arms, while Denise was in Dad's. It was such a sad moment.
I hate thinking that she won't be here this Christmas. Knowing that makes me want Christmas not to come. I'm such a Scrooge this year.
I went to cabaret last thursday. It was pretty fun, though I could totally tell Danielle wanted to hit me. OH WELL.