The Light That I'd Bless Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Luke Snyder felt even worse than he looked. He hadn’t slept in days, spending every waking moment either looking for Reid or planning his next attempt at looking for Reid.
After nearly a week of searching with no success, Luke was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He couldn’t believe that he was losing Reid again. Obligations in Oakdale made it impossible for him to remain in Cambridge, but he was far from ready to give up.
He’d go home to take care of those responsibilities and return immediately.
It was a Saturday and he knew the cheese shop would likely be packed, but he just had to check one last time. As he entered the shop, Viv looked past her customer and gave Luke a sympathetic shake of her head. Two days before, he’d told her everything…every single second of his time with Reid Oliver, past and present. She’d listened and clucked in all the right places, shed copious tears for the man she considered a friend, whether he liked it or not, and had hoped and prayed that these two young men could find their way back to each other. She’d known that Reid was in pain, but she could not have imagined the extent of what he’d gone through.
She finished with her customer and came out from behind the counter to give Luke a reassuring hug.
I’m sorry, Luke, but I haven’t heard from him. Not yet.
Luke fought back exhausted tears. He knew that she would have called him if she had seen or heard from Reid, but he had hoped…
Thanks Viv.
Listen, I have to go back home for a bit. I have a couple of doctors’ appointments scheduled and a meeting with the board of my foundation that can’t be put off any longer. I’ll be back by next weekend, at the latest, but could you please contact me if you hear from him in the meantime?
Viv patted Luke’s sweet face and promised that she would.
Luke went back to the hotel and made the preparations to check-out. As he looked around the room, he thought about those last moments with Reid and wondered again what Reid had meant before he’d stormed out.
When he got downstairs, he gave Phil his card and asked him to please contact him should Dr. Oliver return looking for Luke. Phil assured him that it would be his pleasure and wished Luke a safe trip home.
On the plane, Luke laid his head back and thought about what awaited him when he returned to Oakdale. He’d called his Grandma and asked her to arrange the usual Sunday dinner with a couple of extra guests. He knew that he wouldn’t survive keeping Reid’s existence a secret…they would surely notice the change in him and Luke knew better than anyone how persistent his family and friends could be.
As he opened the front door to his mom‘s house, he could already hear the jubilant shouts of his youngest siblings. Ethan managed to attack him first.
Luke! Luke! You’we back! Mommy said you’d come back and you did! Faith said that you were probolly sick to deaf of aw of us and that you must have runned away, but she was wong!
Luke picked his brother up and slung him over his shoulder while Natalie threw her arms around his waist.
We’re so glad you’re back, Luke. We really missed you around here. Did you bring us any presents?
Luke smiled at the mercenary nature of even the sweetest pre-teen.
Would I dare come back without bearing gifts? I know how you operate…I’d be run out of town if I so much as tried it!
He pulled their gifts out of his bag and watched as they “oohhed” and “aahhed”. He had known that Natalie would love the multi-media art set
he’d found for her, and Ethan was immediately enthralled with the set of tiny robotic bugs.
Faith was spending the night at a girlfriend’s house, so Luke left her gift…a funky bag made with vintage fabric…on the breakfront for her to find in the morning when she returned.
As the kids sat at the dining room table setting up their loot, Lily came out from the kitchen, smiling widely as she saw Luke.
I thought I heard you in here. Oh, baby, I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have you home. I hated the thought of you being all alone there in the big city for so long.
Luke allowed his mother to pull him into a hug and patted her back as she kissed his cheeks.
Mom, I was only gone for a week. I’m a grown man, I can certainly handle a short trip out of town every now and again.
Lily held his chin between her thumb and forefinger.
You listen here, Luke Snyder, a mother never stops worrying about her babies. Now, tell me all about your trip. Were you able to accomplish everything you’d intended?
Luke let out a quick breath, wondering how to tell his mom just what had happened.
All that and more, mom. Listen, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow at the farm. Grandma invited the entire family and some friends. I have some things I’d like to share with all of you, but I think it would be easier to just tell you all at once.
Lily raised her eyebrows and looked at Luke with some concern.
Should I be worried, baby? You’re kind of scaring me here.
Luke reached out and hugged her once again.
It’s nothing bad mom, in fact, it’s…well…it’s…it’s pretty fantastic.
Lily poked Luke in the chest with her finger.
You’re a bad boy for making me wait until tomorrow, then.
Listen, your dad’s coming to pick the kids and me up to go look at a horse he’s considering buying. Do you want me to tell him to reschedule since you just got home?
Luke shook his head.
Don’t you dare, mom. I’m kind of exhausted anyway, so I think I’ll just putter around here and then turn in early.
Everyone turned toward the sound of Holden walking in the door. Luke wasn’t sure what was going to happen with his parents, but the fact that his dad didn’t even bother knocking anymore was a sign that things were headed in a certain direction.
Luke! I didn’t know you were back, son.
As Holden enveloped Luke in a hug, Luke clapped his father on the back and assured him that he’d only just gotten in.
You look…different somehow, Luke. Is there something I should know?
A part of Luke wanted to blurt the whole thing out, but he knew it would be easier to tell everyone at once…to avoid an Whisper Down the Lane scenario if nothing else. Besides, it was too heavy of a conversation for him right then…he was simply too exhausted to think straight.
I’m good, Dad. We’ll catch up tomorrow, I promise.
Holden ruffled his son’s hair, like he’d done since Luke was a little boy.
Don’t suppose you’re interested in taking a look at a new horse?
Luke yawned.
Not this time, Dad. I think I need some down time. But, you’ll be at the farm for Sunday dinner tomorrow, right? So, we’ll have plenty of time to talk then.
Luke waved as his family headed out the door and then sank down on the couch trying to catch his breath. He really had yet to truly absorb everything that had happened in the last week, and it was all finally catching up to him.
Reid was alive. That’s what it came down to. Reid was alive, and while nothing else was as it should be, there was always that.
Despite the early hour, Luke decided to head up to bed, hoping that his mind would finally afford him one night’s rest.
Unfortunately, his brain simply would not cooperate. There was too much unresolved, too many unanswered questions. But, in the end, he just missed Reid. He’d been without him for so long, but, somehow, knowing that Reid was alive out there somewhere made Luke even more restless. There was nothing more he wanted in this world than to be with the man he loved. To lie in bed with him.
He wanted to feel Reid’s breath as he slept, hook one leg over his hips and pull him in close, reveling in the heat and strength that was so inherently Reid. He wouldn’t allow himself to even think about the other things he wanted to share with Reid, because, while he ached to feel Reid move inside him, and, please, to push deep inside Reid and show him just how right they were together, he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on that fantasy just yet. It was too much…too painful.
After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, he heard his family return and make their own preparations for bed. He heard his mom approach his door and he turned his body in the other direction and feigned sleep. He loved his mother, he did, but he just wasn’t prepared for her questions and her concern.
Once he was sure that everyone had turned in for the night, he got out of bed and quietly walked over to his closet. At the bottom, in the back, was a leather duffel bag that had belonged to Reid. It contained the very small amount of Reid’s belongings that Katie had packed up after…well, after.
In the past nine months, Luke had often found some measure of comfort in pulling out the contents and smelling Reid’s distinct scent that still permeated the clothing. There were nights when he’d wanted nothing more than to put the clothes on and climb into bed so that he could smell Reid and pretend.
But he’d always been afraid that, in wearing the clothes, they would lose the essence of Reid and he would lose yet another connection. But now, knowing that Reid was still alive, Luke rationalized that he would have plenty of opportunities to link himself to the man he loved.
He pulled out a thin, threadbare e=mc² t-shirt. It made Luke smile that Reid had obviously kept the shirt as a souvenir of his younger days...Reid always seemed so practical, so even such a minor peek into another side of him was like a special treat. The shirt carried a scent that was so distinct to Reid that Luke couldn’t help but to pull it on over his bare torso, rubbing it against his lips as it passed and then wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to hold Reid the only way he could.
He climbed back into bed and finally fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of what should have been.
A/N...I originally had no intention of giving Ethan that weak /r/...but found that it just didn't sound like Ethan without it. He's written with it in nearly every fan fic and it's kind of become canon!
Luke Snyder felt even worse than he looked. He hadn’t slept in days, spending every waking moment either looking for Reid or planning his next attempt at looking for Reid.
After nearly a week of searching with no success, Luke was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He couldn’t believe that he was losing Reid again. Obligations in Oakdale made it impossible for him to remain in Cambridge, but he was far from ready to give up.
He’d go home to take care of those responsibilities and return immediately.
It was a Saturday and he knew the cheese shop would likely be packed, but he just had to check one last time. As he entered the shop, Viv looked past her customer and gave Luke a sympathetic shake of her head. Two days before, he’d told her everything…every single second of his time with Reid Oliver, past and present. She’d listened and clucked in all the right places, shed copious tears for the man she considered a friend, whether he liked it or not, and had hoped and prayed that these two young men could find their way back to each other. She’d known that Reid was in pain, but she could not have imagined the extent of what he’d gone through.
She finished with her customer and came out from behind the counter to give Luke a reassuring hug.
I’m sorry, Luke, but I haven’t heard from him. Not yet.
Luke fought back exhausted tears. He knew that she would have called him if she had seen or heard from Reid, but he had hoped…
Thanks Viv.
Listen, I have to go back home for a bit. I have a couple of doctors’ appointments scheduled and a meeting with the board of my foundation that can’t be put off any longer. I’ll be back by next weekend, at the latest, but could you please contact me if you hear from him in the meantime?
Viv patted Luke’s sweet face and promised that she would.
Luke went back to the hotel and made the preparations to check-out. As he looked around the room, he thought about those last moments with Reid and wondered again what Reid had meant before he’d stormed out.
When he got downstairs, he gave Phil his card and asked him to please contact him should Dr. Oliver return looking for Luke. Phil assured him that it would be his pleasure and wished Luke a safe trip home.
On the plane, Luke laid his head back and thought about what awaited him when he returned to Oakdale. He’d called his Grandma and asked her to arrange the usual Sunday dinner with a couple of extra guests. He knew that he wouldn’t survive keeping Reid’s existence a secret…they would surely notice the change in him and Luke knew better than anyone how persistent his family and friends could be.
As he opened the front door to his mom‘s house, he could already hear the jubilant shouts of his youngest siblings. Ethan managed to attack him first.
Luke! Luke! You’we back! Mommy said you’d come back and you did! Faith said that you were probolly sick to deaf of aw of us and that you must have runned away, but she was wong!
Luke picked his brother up and slung him over his shoulder while Natalie threw her arms around his waist.
We’re so glad you’re back, Luke. We really missed you around here. Did you bring us any presents?
Luke smiled at the mercenary nature of even the sweetest pre-teen.
Would I dare come back without bearing gifts? I know how you operate…I’d be run out of town if I so much as tried it!
He pulled their gifts out of his bag and watched as they “oohhed” and “aahhed”. He had known that Natalie would love the multi-media art set
he’d found for her, and Ethan was immediately enthralled with the set of tiny robotic bugs.
Faith was spending the night at a girlfriend’s house, so Luke left her gift…a funky bag made with vintage fabric…on the breakfront for her to find in the morning when she returned.
As the kids sat at the dining room table setting up their loot, Lily came out from the kitchen, smiling widely as she saw Luke.
I thought I heard you in here. Oh, baby, I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have you home. I hated the thought of you being all alone there in the big city for so long.
Luke allowed his mother to pull him into a hug and patted her back as she kissed his cheeks.
Mom, I was only gone for a week. I’m a grown man, I can certainly handle a short trip out of town every now and again.
Lily held his chin between her thumb and forefinger.
You listen here, Luke Snyder, a mother never stops worrying about her babies. Now, tell me all about your trip. Were you able to accomplish everything you’d intended?
Luke let out a quick breath, wondering how to tell his mom just what had happened.
All that and more, mom. Listen, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow at the farm. Grandma invited the entire family and some friends. I have some things I’d like to share with all of you, but I think it would be easier to just tell you all at once.
Lily raised her eyebrows and looked at Luke with some concern.
Should I be worried, baby? You’re kind of scaring me here.
Luke reached out and hugged her once again.
It’s nothing bad mom, in fact, it’s…well…it’s…it’s pretty fantastic.
Lily poked Luke in the chest with her finger.
You’re a bad boy for making me wait until tomorrow, then.
Listen, your dad’s coming to pick the kids and me up to go look at a horse he’s considering buying. Do you want me to tell him to reschedule since you just got home?
Luke shook his head.
Don’t you dare, mom. I’m kind of exhausted anyway, so I think I’ll just putter around here and then turn in early.
Everyone turned toward the sound of Holden walking in the door. Luke wasn’t sure what was going to happen with his parents, but the fact that his dad didn’t even bother knocking anymore was a sign that things were headed in a certain direction.
Luke! I didn’t know you were back, son.
As Holden enveloped Luke in a hug, Luke clapped his father on the back and assured him that he’d only just gotten in.
You look…different somehow, Luke. Is there something I should know?
A part of Luke wanted to blurt the whole thing out, but he knew it would be easier to tell everyone at once…to avoid an Whisper Down the Lane scenario if nothing else. Besides, it was too heavy of a conversation for him right then…he was simply too exhausted to think straight.
I’m good, Dad. We’ll catch up tomorrow, I promise.
Holden ruffled his son’s hair, like he’d done since Luke was a little boy.
Don’t suppose you’re interested in taking a look at a new horse?
Luke yawned.
Not this time, Dad. I think I need some down time. But, you’ll be at the farm for Sunday dinner tomorrow, right? So, we’ll have plenty of time to talk then.
Luke waved as his family headed out the door and then sank down on the couch trying to catch his breath. He really had yet to truly absorb everything that had happened in the last week, and it was all finally catching up to him.
Reid was alive. That’s what it came down to. Reid was alive, and while nothing else was as it should be, there was always that.
Despite the early hour, Luke decided to head up to bed, hoping that his mind would finally afford him one night’s rest.
Unfortunately, his brain simply would not cooperate. There was too much unresolved, too many unanswered questions. But, in the end, he just missed Reid. He’d been without him for so long, but, somehow, knowing that Reid was alive out there somewhere made Luke even more restless. There was nothing more he wanted in this world than to be with the man he loved. To lie in bed with him.
He wanted to feel Reid’s breath as he slept, hook one leg over his hips and pull him in close, reveling in the heat and strength that was so inherently Reid. He wouldn’t allow himself to even think about the other things he wanted to share with Reid, because, while he ached to feel Reid move inside him, and, please, to push deep inside Reid and show him just how right they were together, he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on that fantasy just yet. It was too much…too painful.
After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, he heard his family return and make their own preparations for bed. He heard his mom approach his door and he turned his body in the other direction and feigned sleep. He loved his mother, he did, but he just wasn’t prepared for her questions and her concern.
Once he was sure that everyone had turned in for the night, he got out of bed and quietly walked over to his closet. At the bottom, in the back, was a leather duffel bag that had belonged to Reid. It contained the very small amount of Reid’s belongings that Katie had packed up after…well, after.
In the past nine months, Luke had often found some measure of comfort in pulling out the contents and smelling Reid’s distinct scent that still permeated the clothing. There were nights when he’d wanted nothing more than to put the clothes on and climb into bed so that he could smell Reid and pretend.
But he’d always been afraid that, in wearing the clothes, they would lose the essence of Reid and he would lose yet another connection. But now, knowing that Reid was still alive, Luke rationalized that he would have plenty of opportunities to link himself to the man he loved.
He pulled out a thin, threadbare e=mc² t-shirt. It made Luke smile that Reid had obviously kept the shirt as a souvenir of his younger days...Reid always seemed so practical, so even such a minor peek into another side of him was like a special treat. The shirt carried a scent that was so distinct to Reid that Luke couldn’t help but to pull it on over his bare torso, rubbing it against his lips as it passed and then wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to hold Reid the only way he could.
He climbed back into bed and finally fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of what should have been.
A/N...I originally had no intention of giving Ethan that weak /r/...but found that it just didn't sound like Ethan without it. He's written with it in nearly every fan fic and it's kind of become canon!