Been a long couple of days
Ive somehow become more determined over the last few days.... I'm tired... exhausted... lol... but I'm going to start doing things differently... its already been pretty noticable.... My house is cleaner, ive started finishing some of the projects i started months ago, ive been busting my butt at work, i have plans to clean my car for the first time in probably 2 years.... (ive cleaned it out, but i havent properly cleaned it)... Ive been making more effort to train my dog... I'm eating better, cooking more.... i havent eaten out once since I got home from Ohio.... I'm just ready to dig myself out of the rut Ive been in these last 8-9 months... i'm ready to get on with my life.... and i'm really hoping that one day it will include Logan... gods i miss him... ive only known him personally for maybe 6 months... before he was always just a friend of Michael... There is just something about him that i cant put my finger on.... he's... refreshing.... he isnt the same old boring... he is a fresh start.... he doesnt try too hard... he just laughs at me when I try too hard... (cause i know im guilty sometimes)... we are both realistic about things... but at the same time he would whisper things like "what am i gonna do when you leave?" right as we were falling asleep.... he's acts very indifferent most of the time... i cant decide wether i like it or wether is annoys the piss out of me lol... and i guess thats a good thing... I'm "boy crazy" in the sense that i seem to forever be switching guys.... when one of them treats me like dirt, i leave... when one ignores me for too long, i leave... when one looses my interest, i leave.... i need someone who is a healthy dose of here. not here and keeps me on my toes... maybe i'm rediculous... but i get BORED with guys pretty fast.... I'm not going to count my chickens before the hatch or hold my breath tho... for all i know in 2 months we'll stop being what we have been to one another..... then again, a year from now we might still be "more than friends" and i might sell my house and move to Ohio lol.... we've talked about it.... we both want it.... we know it will be a big decision for us both... it will impact both of our lives greatly... and neither of us want to rush it..... a little bit of me things that he, along with all of my other friends in Ohio, helped clear my head and make me see that I am tired of leading the life i lead.... i want more.... and by more i dont necessarily mean possessions..... just.... MORE