Staring down the sun
3 days until prom. I still don't have a dress. I did get my tickets finally though. It's a start. I'm not excited at all about it. It's spose to be romantic and beautiful and all i can do is think about something else. Things that are not possible...or at least not in this lifetime. I keep thinking about the past and how I need to let it go already because it just sucks so much thinking about it and how none of it is possible now and that if it were possible now it would be perfect. Even if I couldn't have all of it back I want some of it. Something to tell me that things are okay and that it's okay to let it go. I could die with this on my mind and live with it on my mind for the rest of my life and in a way I feel that it would be just fine. Of course I wouldn't get jack shit done. Like right now I should be studying and doing homework and probably eating something and resting because I'm sick and I'm not gonna be able to go to prom feeling sick, but I'm not doing any of those things. I'm watching tv and sitting and staring down my wall. After prom I want things to be perfectly clear in my head and life. I am going insane just thinking and thinking. Can't stop thinking. I think this is why I'm so sick. Gonna go nap. Maybe in that whole two hours I'll have my mind in the right place.
PS. On a happier note Alex got creative and gave Rachel and hickey that looks like a heart....her neck is sooo purple it is gross.