Christmas morning. blah.
After all that's happened this year I thought I could start over and have a decent Christmas. I've never really thought I've had an excellent one and that when I did, I would know. This year isn't going to be it and it's only 8AM in the East Coast. Thanks a lot to thin walls I woke up in the morning hearing my uncle talk about my "situation". I guess it's not that I didn't see it coming, it's the fact that I will have to hear it again later when he plans to give me a lecture.....on Christmas. So no, it's not going to be this year. Even then, it's just going to make it more gloomy. I'm trying to debate ways to get away from him and there really aren't many options. I kept thinking in my head earlier this week why he never asked about my trip, why he never showed any interest and now I wish I could just take that all back or maybe have been more specific. He's interested, but just not in the way I thought he'd be. Of course he was never initially happy about it. When my aunt told him I was going, he said "why". This was way before he knew that Brian was coming with. This was before I knew that Brian was coming with me. Of course there were things that were muffled through the wall like about how he didn't want me seeing Uncle Vinh though I'm unsure of the reason. Things that were clear were about how demanding I am and that if he doesn't put a stop to it, I'll learn to control them with this situation. Unbelievable. I know Aunt Mylinh thinks it's ridiculous and to me, it sounds terrible. In fact, it sounds like he's describing Kat, but no one sees her that way. I know that when he lectures her, it's more whole hearted. He's half serious, half affection. It's always different for me. It's always a discipline talk.....and then everyone turns around and this I'm not independent. It's because they like to play my cards for me. I'm so anry and frustrated right now. This is not how I wanted to spend Christmas morning. I'm ready to pack and be on the plane because there is no Christmas present that is going to turn this Christmas around. And to think, I dreaded the thought of having bad trip. Everything's been okay and now I wish I had just stayed home.